Cut out of the estranged GPs will, dilemma!

A very big ask, I know.

I have NO personal feelings towards you ananimous
TBH I am agog with indifference.

My mother was left nothing by her father, even though they weren’t estranged and he was quite well off. Her mother had died, and father remarried. He left everything to his second wife. I know my mother was quite hurt that she wasn’t even mentioned in will.

I wouldn’t have thought it was that uncommon for adult children to be left nothing, if there’s a spouse alive.

Yennifer
I would expect an estranged GP letter would be devoid of any self-awareness unless/until there had been a reconciliation.

Even if it's a nasty letter/bland it may, one day, help you with closure.

I wish you life-luck anyway.

*Either way

That's nice MawB. Can we carry on chatting now please x

Why are you here? Mawb

To find more faults with me so you can hate me a little bit more.

Seek out my threads and pester away. It makes good reading, I supppose, if your up for that kind of bullying.

I don't know ananimous. She was very abusive and in my opinion a narcissist (I'm not a doctor). Won't know how I feel till I get there x

My husband always did a lot to help his two aunts who lived many miles from us and from each other.
When one aunt, who had no children, died she left money (several thousands each) to a dozen great-nephews and great-nieces but left two of our children out. No idea why, nothing untoward had ever been said and there was no explanation with the will.

My husband was heartbroken. He gave our two children the same amount the others had all received out of the money his aunt had left him. So he, who had done so much for her and her sister over many years, was the only one who lost out financially.

We've never told our children as he didn't want to spoil their memories of their great aunt.
I can't forgive her though for upsetting my husband so badly.
She was one of those people who are all for "the family" but she had no understanding what a devoted father he was, and is.

Well, I imagine that would depend on whether they estranged you or you estranged them but honestly in my world, in other words, poor, inheritance isn't much of a thing. I don't hear about people really inheriting. Its more about having to clear their house out and tidy away the life the deceased once had rather than particularly actually gaining anything. And clearing out a house and sorting practical things is often something you really don't want to deal with. You are right, I am not getting this.

I've always talked about my inheritance, it's not taboo at all.

Depends on the relationship, spose.

Feelings FlyingSolo it's about letting yourself know what you actually feel, not think, feel.

Feel to heal. We all need it.

Narcissists have no empathy. At. All.
Sad, but true.

Oh dear. Some nasty little digs on this thread, not very nice. Unusual for gransnet. As our mothers used to say, ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’

I'm not sure I understand. Why would someone who has been cut off by a family member leave that person something in their will? Is that what is being asked?

If someone felt that they didn't want to be around me alive, I don't think I would want to leave them anything for when I was dead.

Similarly, if I disliked someone enough to cut them out of my lifer wouldn't expect them to give me anything in their will - why would they?

Is that unreasonable?

Some people leave money to their AC despite bitter fall outs, here on GN

They just want them to know they were loved, and not totally rejected, I guess.

What's so bad about another point of view?

Absolutely agree Doodledog. I have no idea if my mother is alive or not as I've had nothing to do with her for over 20 years. If she was to have left me anything in her will, which I seriously doubt, I'd give it away to a charity. I expect and want nothing.

All I can say as I experienced one sibling being left a very considerable sum, and myself being left nothing, is that it felt like a final snub from the grave. One final act of cruelty. Just that.

I don’t know why leaving money would make an estranged person feel more loved ,

I agree with Doodledog .

Chewbacca I expect and want nothing.

I can understand why. A good use of the money, though.

@NanaandGrampy*I don’t know why leaving money would make an estranged person feel more loved ,*

Read Granulation's post to understand more - She felt "less" loved by the final rejection.

I get that, it is hurtful treatment

It seems to me that we need to start with what each person's attitudes and values are regarding inheritances before we can think about their feelings about being excluded or included. I think how they feel may be influenced partly by how they viewed inheritances to start with.

A good use of the money, though

Eh? Why would I want money, or anything else, from someone that I disliked so much I cut them out of my life? If I didn't like them enough to be with them when they were alive, why would I want anything of theirs when they are dead? As for their money being "useful"; no thanks.

It’s not about the inheritance itself... and nothing to do with money or possessions. Imagine (as a child) your siblings getting Christmas presents and you being left out. Again, not about the toys, but what it represents. It is about the meaning of it, the intent behind it. Not about my (or others’) attitudes or values... in my experience.

If someone had cut me out if their life and I didn't know why, then went on to leave money to my siblings and not me, I can imagine feeling hurt; but the title of the thread did not originally suggest that this was the situation (has it been changed?)

My confusion was because it seemed to be asking whether grandparents who had been cut off by adult children should nevertheless include the said cutters-off in their will. That is the bit that I don't understand, and I don't get the impression that this is what Granulation is talking about.

Sorry Granulation. We cross posted there, and I wasn't ignoring you.