Two wrongs.

Thank you mumofmadboys for your response. I am going to seek legal advice regards setting up trusts. Many thanks

Yep agree, if you know it’s bad behaviour don’t do it. If you acknowledge it’s bad behaviour accept being dropped

Oh dear - I ahd who I thought was a good friend - she was really quite poor and so was I but she used to help me out and I her. She didn't have any transport but she paid to be added to my insurance so that she could run me to hospital appts etc but she could also use my car to do her shopping etc ... one morning at 7am I was waiting for her to come and drive me to the station as I had to get to a hospital appt in London - nothing - I was calling her on her phone she wasn't answering and eventually threw stones at her window. she came to the window eventually and shouted down, I can't do it and shut the window! So we had to drive like the clappers to the train and try and park too! Seems she had traded me in for an old Volvo someone had given her! Lovely woman .......!

On another note, am being abused by my DD, although she doesn't see it like that - too late to go into it all now but I am permanently on edge around her and to be honest just don't want to be around her anymore - sad ....

Gmelon, I don't think this is about "two wrongs" or "an eye for an eye." It's about protecting yourself. Since this person is a family member, as another poster said, you might not be able to go fully nc (no contact). But you can go lc (low contact) or vlc, and I highly recommend it in this situation. In fact, I suggest making up your mind to only see this person on those family events that she's invited to, and not inviting her to any you host, if that's possible. Also, if you run into her at such events, you only need to say a polite, "Hello" and move on. You don't need to engage in conversation with her. If she comes over to you and starts complaining about your behavior, change the subject or walk away. If she calls, emails, etc. with her gripes, just ignore them. Please don't give much thought to what she has to say because she is just trying to guilt-trip you back into her web (so to speak) so she can go on doing more of her bad behavior. Let go.

Unfortunately I think most families have that sort of person in them. I agree with some of the above comments - try not to be alone with this person, remain your usual self and stop wasting any more mental / emotional energy on them.