Feeling lost

You say he was your best friend but from what you say StarT living together does not work well for you two. There appear to be some things that you still like about him but living with him in a husband/wife relationship is not good. Can you lose a husband but keep a friend?

It might be .ore helpful to do some individual counseling as a first step. Maybe with relate, or he really counselling. It might be more productive to get things clear in your head first before going for couples counselling if you decide to do that. I was divorced after early 40 years of. Being together and despite the fact that he was unfaithful and also abusive it was still hard to adjust to life on my own.but now it's great, and I am glad to be able to thin mainly of.myself still have the children. To think if of course. Yes sometimes I wish I had someone, but I've been able to do things with friends more and that is wonderful. It's frightening thinking how you'll do things but you do things differently that's all

Can't add anything not said, other than to wish you happiness as soon as possible.

Go through all your options again but don't be afraid about living on your own. I left my husband of 30+ years and I'm so glad I've had 18 happy years alone and not 18 years of more anxiety. I'm happy, contented, confident and busy & I can do as I please. We are still friends which I'm v glad about but much happier apart. Go for it!

Thanks for all your messages. Some good advice. Really appreciated.

If anyone wants to pm me and we can chat via messages, please do, it's nice sometimes chatting to someone that understands.
I think what Mully has said is so encouraging, it is frightening almost, to start again, but you can and will, you will also find out who your friends truly are.?

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Good afternoon,
I’m a newbie here.... I’m looking to “adopt” a new Mother-in-Law!!!
I had a really good, loving and respectful relationship with my partner’s mum for 5 years.
Long story short, he was destroyed in his divorce(financially, psychologically and then she poisoned the kids towards him)
I have been there throughout, supporting him in every way possible including financially for legal support and court fees etc.
I was not the cause of the failed marriage, and did not meet him until 6 months aftee he was asked to leave the former marital home.
Being in your early mid 50’s with no savings is hard enough, but then due to the stress my partner had 3 heart attacks and then Quadruple open heart surgery where he nearly lost his life.
His mother was also supportive, and wanted to help so after much deliberation she moved and released some equity. A % went to my partner’s brother;also gone through a bad breakup) whereby he was able to secure a home.
We, on the other hand were invited to live(one house divided into 2)with her.
We were happy to have a chance to have a secure home, beable to look after her and start up our dream, Bed and Breakfast.
Within a month of moving in my partner had his operation, and then the cracks started to appear.
I was told my parents were not slowed to visit us at the house.
Restrictions were placed on what we could/n’t do to our side of the house, even though it was part of my partner’s inheritance and she told us we could do exactly as we pleased.
She started making derogatory comments to my partner about me, even though I was taking her out, shopping with her, decorating her side of the house, cooking her meals etc and generally being the friend/daughter in law she’d always known.
We moved in together in the August, by the following June she told my partner she wanted me out(in 2 weeks)
She told him if he went with me to forget his inheritance!!
I was mortified and felt very let down, but worse for my partner.
She put him in an unbearable situation!!
It will now be so awkward with the whole family.
I miss being part of it and having a mother in law, because we really did have a great relationship??

I'm really not sure what the previous message is about, it doesn't seem to be a response to the original poster or am I missing something ?