What o you do when you no longer want to?

Me too. The tales I could tell..
I've "shut up shop" now.
Couldn't be less interested if I tried.

It’s caused by the lack of oestrogen/progesterone. It the past we women died at 40-50. With recent advances in medicine we now live almost twice as long.
There is a solution. You simply replace the missing oestrogen/testosterone and decline to go through the menopause.
It not only deals with the well known side effects of the menopause but with the unspoken ones. The osteoporosis, vaginal atrophy, lack of libido, incontinence, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, memory lapses etc.
It’s probably too late for some of you, but for our younger members please read up on the subject and decide whether you are going to replace the oestrogen you lack (in the same way that type1 diabetics replace their missing insulin) or allow yourself to age dramatically with the associated deterioration in your health.

Yes, but for any woman that has had, or is at risk of breast cancer, HRT is not safe. It can feed the hormones that drove the cancer. About 15% of women develop breast cancer, so it is a bit Russian roulette to take that chance. I am one of them and have been told that I must not take it.

It also assumes that losing libido is a bad thing. Speaking personally, I am fine about it. You don't miss what you don't want. I was consumed by it when I was younger and on balance, prefer my life this way.

Ageing is a normal part of life. I have never been vain and accept the changes, if not gracefully, with understanding. I have no intention of fighting it off, tooth and nail. My mother was a 'Doreen' in her younger years and it becomes unattractive (only IMO, obviously). She looks her age now. It catches up with all of us in the end.

I was quite keen to take HRT but not allowed.
I squelched down to the docs in sweaty shoes, and clothes all stuck to me, in the hope of something to help with the flushes, but nope.

I also accept ageing, whether it's dramatic (looking in the mirror, it is!!!) or not.

That's why I find the idea of counselling etc strange for something that's a natural thing.

For the great majority of women HRT is suitable, only for a small proportion is it contra indicated.
The benefits to health are such that one doctor told me the NHS would save a fortune if it became routinely recommended because of the huge costs related to the side effects of menopause, e.g. broken bones, hip replacements, urogenital atrophy, sleep problems, anxiety, depression etc.

Possibly, I don't know.

But menopause is a normal life stage. Why delay the inevitable? Mine was early, because of my cancer treatment, but I wouldn't have taken HRT regardless, in the same way I wouldn't have a silicone implant when I had a mastectomy.

Saying women need to be medicated to be 'normal' or acceptable is a patriarchal view of what being a woman is. Losing our libido when we are no longer fertile makes sense.

Not every woman suffers much during the menopause. Medicating them would be unnecessary and inappropriate. Doctors only see the ones who suffer so may assume that we all do. I really can't say I did. Lucky.

True, Jane. I am overjoyed not to have periods or PMT anymore. The mood swings have gone, so far no osteoporosis and there is no downside that I can see. I don't regard my loss of libido as a bad thing. I did have some hot flushes but they're a distant memory.

I understand some women have it much harder than I did. But menopause is just a part of life. Not an illness (unless the woman suffers, obviously).