cut out of thier lives 2

thanks katy...im going to print that off as a reminder...

I'm sure your bad wolf isn't so bad. Like mine probably - just a bit world-weary.

KatyK I like that story. I will print it off too as a reminder.....thank you

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

These stories are so sad. I don't know what to say really

Families what can we do. Nothing. I'v posted on here before about my estrangement from my daughter now resolved . Thankfully. My son and his partner used to live locally. They would spend one Christmas with us and one with his in-laws. They moved years ago and I expected this to continue Unfortunately I was wrong. We were never invited but his in-laws were every year. I was very upset but I knew if I mentioned it to my son (as advised by almost everyone I knew) he would talk to his wife and an argument would ensue making everyone miserable including me. After a few years at one of our family gatherings she happened to mention that this Christmas her parents would be spending Christmas with her brother. In front of all my family and completely without guile she said to me so for this year you can come if you want. Well my family almost wet themselves laughing with cries of " your a poor second best" she didn't take offence because none was meant but she did say later on that day. " I know you must feel as if my parents always come first but that's just the way it is. You've always been very good about it.I appreciate that and know it may happen to me because I am the mother of two boys. I hope I will be as accommodating as you've been with me" I was dumb struck honestly !

it does make me wonder why our offspring take such harsh steps to cut us out of their lives...when i was younger i always kept in contact with my parents and grandparents...yes we had rows but nothing that couldnt be fixed with a simple sorry...

Crickey! pass that Smileless said I could have from you Celebgran lol
I would definitely send gifts and presents if I thought my GC would get them, but I know from the past they would be put in the bin without my little darlings having so much as a glimpse. So I've got them lovely Christmas cards, which will go in the big sacks of presents from their last B/days and Christmas, pointless buying any more presents. So I will open bank acc's and put money in on their next B/days and from this Christmas (haven't had time yet), it's the only thing I can do . When I visited my neighbour on Christmas morning, she did tell me I would need birth certificates to open acc's. I wanted to open an Issa @ 6` interest which they can only access at 18yrs. but now I will have to open an acc myself and title it in their names, which is what my ND did.
I love my D and GC with all of my heart and soul and would never do or say anything to hurt them or their family and didn't, when I helped my D whilst she came back to stay with me after their 'big fight', her husband and his mum were so very cruel to her, not letting her see her babies or go to her home. I mediated between them and got them back together, but my words of "Jenni will get custody of Laila (not his child) therefore Jack and its the mother and children that get the family home, it's the man that leaves" got Jenni back in and me 'cut out'. I said this to him in a quiet, gentle voice, to help him see that how he had it at that time (him in the family home with the children) wouldn't last, by law of our country, and I said it to get them back together, not to part them. I praised him to the heights too. If I'd have known then what I know now about him! I think he actually didn't want my D back, but when I pointed out he would loose the family home and children, he decided to take my D back and crucify me instead!
My big mistake was; after 3mnths of trying to reconcile nicely, I went through the courts and that burnt my bridges for ever! My only hope is if they break-up again, I would think I would then get my D and GC back. Until then there is nothing more I can do or say

Yoga I had to produce birth certificates each time I've opened a bank account in GC's name. Also had to have some form signed by their parents to do with the children not paying tax.

just wondering if you could obtain copies of the birth certificates from the registry office..you only have to say you are doing a family tree...that way you will have the documentation to open accounts for your grankids...

Oh! Thanks for that dollie I will give it a try, and thanks Aka

Any of that left Celebgran and Yogagirl, only joking. Off to bed shortly so I can get up early and get to the gym. Enough indulgence for me for now, and the next three months so I can get into shape for Aus. in April; actually any shape would do .

Hope you enjoyed your lunch Celebgran

Goodnight ladies. Sleep well

Thanks smileless was really good! Long drive but sunny! Brother partner okay invited us back to theirs afterwards for yummy sausage rolls and. Mince pies a very good cook!

coming yr way! We enjoyed some with lunch was pricey food but lovely.
Great spend time with my brother and his partner was strained but ok.

I have sore throat can't believe it am not being ill again!!!
Sleep well and yogagirl we will get on track soon!
Neibor gave us chocs for feeding cats gone in cupboard unopened afraid got finish milk tray then cut backs !

Good to see different names on here Marelli I cans so relate to that I can't fathom how. MY daughter can no longer be that person who seemed to love us and I hang onto all lovely cards and letters very painful.

Marelli, the pain of being estranged from a daughter you gave birth to, and loved unconditionally is very difficult to express in words, but you did that well, thank you.
Your description of your experience Kiora was a cracker, families eh.
Nanban - I'm sorry if my post offended you. It's good to see so many new contributors on this thread, all willing to share their painful experiences, and receiving positive support.

Marelli, the pain of being estranged from a daughter you gave birth to, and loved unconditionally is very difficult to express in words, but you did that well, thank you.
Your description of your experience Kiora was a cracker, families eh.
Nanban - I'm sorry if my post offended you. It's good to see so many new contributors on this thread, all willing to share their painful experiences, and receiving positive support.

whoops, the curse of the double posting, sorry folks

Morning Girls
Yes dollie I can't understand why our much loved off-spring wants to hurt us so, I would never have hurt my mum in anyway or my dad even though my dad and I didn't see eye-to-eye all the time and had a few too many rows, I would still never have hurt him and would most def never have stopped him seeing my children that he loved so much, along with my mum. Not too sure about the birth cert. now, doesn't seem right getting them under the circumstances .
Nice to hear you had a good time with your brother Celebgran, wrap your throat up and keep it warm to help get rid off that sore throat, you want to be fit to dance tomorrow night . My ND said she was surprised I hadn't taken down the big studio photo of my D, that hangs on the landed along with one of my S and another of my ND, but I said 'no' because that D there is the D I loved and she loved me then too.
Hope you worked off all that Xmas pud and chocs at the gym yesterday Smileless I'm off to another Christmas dinner tonight, 6 of us friends, the one cooking said he missed not cooking it this year for his family, stranegly after always being the one to cook and host Christmas dinners for the past 30yrs and wondering when someone else would offer, I too now miss it! 3yrs since I did now. Everything changes doesn't it, not always for the best, as we all know Coffee time....

Shame on you smileless gymn! Trying make us feel guilty!

Hope make acquacise Thursday!
Thanks yogagirl no worse do want brave asda today like some George stuff albeit cheap cheerful wore new skirt yesterday taking back was only 12 but has plucked up after one wear looks dreadful!?

They very helpful normally.

Nanban you so right this has never been exclusive thread and also it is wrong for others to Imply and criticise way us unfortunate estranged parents try to cope someone mentioned unbalance view??!! I took offence to that.
I certainly bent over backwards to try see our estranged daughters view but she won't mediate or even talk to us.

Damn lost last post! Just say yogagirl lucky you good friends who can cook! Enjoy!

We off asda as got return skirt like some of their stuff but got watch what you get loved this pencil skirt wore yesterday and has plucked up all over place can't wear again! They very good there on return s.

Hope you survived gymn smileless!
Going ration chocs to 3 each lol!

Better get off here now! Still no feeling great but daring another virus to invade me,

Told oh about your daughter photo sadly we can't bear see pics of ours now it is way to painful given her treatment of us, did try put pickup of her and our first grandaughter with her late grandad only time he saw her, had take down when found out about third baby.

Afternoon ladies. Had a good session as the gym this morning, feel much better for going - honestly! Of course I'm not trying to make you feel guilty Celebgran but did I? I'm going to miss these little Christmas hat pictures must get as many in as I can before they go .

Hope your throat is OK, how's the choc rationing going? I often lose my post and its usually a long one, so annoying . I should be getting on with some work for the business accounts but the original film of 'The Railway Children' is on. It always makes me cry but I do love it. The film, not the crying.

Another Christmas dinner Yogagirl you are doing well. I know what you mean about cooking one though, I really enjoyed it this year because we went out last year so our lovely s and his new wife didn't have to split their time between both sets of parents as it was their last one here before they went to Aus. Wasn't that thoughtful of them, why can't all our children be as considerate?

I've never been one for photographs on show, neither is my mum, so don't have any out of my s. I can see why you find yours a comfort Yogagirl especially the one of your D before everything went haywire. I just have one on display of my lovely s and my d.i.l. on their wedding day, not posed for and in black and white. It's lovely and with him being so far away it's nice to be able to see his beautiful face.

Yes Celebgran I found some of the recent comments upsetting. Using phrases like 'balanced view' and 'being the better person' implies that some of us are the opposite to that. I'm sure no offence was intended, as I said the other day, Christmas makes all of us who are in this terrible situation even more sensitive.

Everything does change Yogagirl and let's hope that for us all 2014 brings changes that are for the better. Enjoy your Christmas dinner. Hope you got your skirt sorted out Celebgran and make sure you look after your throat.

Have a good rest of the day everyone.

Morning all hope you not too achey smiless!

Wishing you yogagirl nanban Marelli whenim and all rest a very happy healthy 2014!

Just take. Oh to work and going do.my pedicure later got client at 1 30 and my lovely hair dresser giving me blow dry at 4 dance tonight!

Had niggly day yesterday lets hope can move on and not keep moaning at my lovely husband!

Hello Girls
I've come on to wish everyone on here a very
"HAPPY NEW YEAR"
Let's hope and pray that 2014 will be a better year for us all and who knows how things will be for us, come Christmas of 2014, where's that crystal ball when you need it
Off to get my cocktail dress on, Champagne reception to start the evening off! I'm still a bit tired from last night's Christmas dinner and party games it went on till 1.30am There, used up lots of Christmas hats Love and best wishes to you all and have a fabulous night. xxxxxxxxxxx

Evening ladies. Glad rags on, just need to apply the war paint but had to come on here first and wish you all a "VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR" .

I can't wait for those 12 chimes at midnight, not just to say hello to 2014 but goodbye and good riddance to 2013.

Have a fab evening everyone what ever you're doing. Love and loads of best wishes to you all.

Catch up with you all next year

Morning hope you all had great new year we thoroughly enjoyed our disco was great fun and oh own nice bottle wine in raffle!

Tired today and of course husband at work but we already had massive row over it and he home at 3 did not go til 11.

Cold wet and awful here, made mistake pegged few bits on line lol.

Headache may been few well martini actually.

Trying not to think about my sad situ was ok long day yesterday oh work til 6 30 kept busy.

Will feel relieved she delivered present may try do fri,
Acquacise Tom !

Hope smileless and yogagirl enjoyed their celebrations!

Happy peaceful new year to you all.

Morning..said very quietly!
Had a fabulous night last night, felt really emotional at midnight, thinking about what an awful year 2013 had been, so good riddance to 2013 and welcome 2014..please be kind to us all on here and everyone else that had a bad 2013! with love xxxxx