To find the use of 'passed' instead of died irritating?

I don't care for them, either, and would never use them, but I guess for many people just the sound of 'passed' or 'passed away' is somehow gentler or less stark than 'died'.

As a young child, the word 'dead' (in human terms) always conjured up for me the picture of someone on a block with their head having just been chopped off. I can't imagine in what sort of book I must have seen such a picture at such a young age - maybe an older sibling's history book. It certainly wasn't Milly Molly Mandy!

I’ve noticed on social media that ‘gained their angel wings’ is often used for the sad deaths of babies and young children. Perhaps it just feels softer, less harsh when speaking about these very young ones

My elder son was 9 when my husband died. I had always told him the truth, that he had died and why (cancer). Never used euphemisms or talked about heaven. No-one in our family believes in such things.

Not long afterwards our cat disappeared and we assumed he was dead, which he probably was. My son said, out of the blue, “ Daddy will be glad to have Puss”. Someone, perhaps a teacher or other children, must have mentioned an afterlife to him. It certainly wasn’t anyone in our family. I didn’t question his remark.

When my husband died our daughters were 5 and 7, my elder daughter was badly affected, her beloved daddy went to work and never came back. Should I have said - he is dead, that’s it, he is no more. Not forgetting I didn’t believe his love was extinguished.

I talk about despatching chickens because people pale when I talk about killing them for food! I think people just want a gentler turn of phrase sometimes and I can't see what is wrong with that.

Its hard to say he/ she died but its the truth and that we all will die and that our children could die before us, is life. Everyday is a gift when all are safe.

These things have to be faced up to and if a baby has got its angels wings -if that helps,I doubt it because deep down you know the truth and it is better to face up to it.
It will get easier and that is the truth as well.

You are quite right PEGS to object to passed away or worse still fallen asleep. There have been jokes made about that.

Anniebach, I didn’t stop at just saying he had died. We talked about it and what it meant, a lot. They knew what it meant, they knew he loved them and that it was the kindest thing because he was so desperately ill. Children of that age (the younger one was 6) are perfectly capable of understanding that.

Really annoys me too!

I find the term passed extremely strange because it doesn’t actually mean anything. Passed what? We don’t use it here in NI (as far as I know). I’ve only heard it used in England and USA in the recent few years and by mediums on tv. Passed away does seem a little gentler but I suppose whatever works.

Annie I agree
Love is never extinguished.
The love in our hearts does not die it is there for evermore 'passed' down through our Children and grandchildren.?

Cambridge English Dictionary
Pass Away = To Die
If it's good enough to be in the English Dictionary then it's good enough for me

Pecs
Isn't it a matter of choice how one views or describes anything in life.? What makes you think people are afraid to use the word death?

I would always say died/dead but I don't have a problem with 'passed away' -- I think it has been in usage for a very long time.
I don't even mind 'passed over' (if you're a spiritualist) but I do dislike just 'passed' as in 'he passed today' for died -- it seems so mealy-mouthed and smacks of avoidance.
It also sounds very American to my ears and hence not really natural. It's on a par with 'can I get a....' instead of 'can I have...' or, even better 'may I have...'.
( recall at school when asking for something if you said 'can I have' the teacher would reply of course you can -- but what you mean is 'may I..'
Sadly I think this distinction has already been lost. )
out-and-proud grammar pedant

I couldn’t say my mum died for years, as it’s just to horrible to believe. If it offends people, tough. People say what ever makes them feel comfortable. I still say I ‘lost’ mum. Because for years I was lost without her.

I think passed away sounds gentler than died, dont know why but it does to me, but i dont like the phrase,[passed]
I usually say died, but i can see why some dont like it, just somehow sounds very blunt

Exactly Cherry, I was not going to tell my 7 year old any different, and taking them to church every Sunday since they were tinies did bring my faith into our talks of his death.

For me telling little ones bluntly about death fills them with fears they may choose not to share. My elder daughter had such fear I would die, i chose to allay her fears with faith, knowing when she was older she would decide for herself.

My feelings exactly, GrannyGravy.

I prefer 'died' but that's my choice. 'Passed' is a gentler term perhaps that many people feel more comfortable with.
My GC's dog died recently - and we used the word 'died' and talked about it and we were all naturally upset. Having pets is an opportunity to talk about death and we've always used the term 'died' when referring to animals. Is 'passed' just used for humans do you think?

I made the mistake of saying my poor Jim had " gone to a better place " . The recipient thought I had put him in a nursing home , and asked for the address , many tears and explanations later I decided to never use a euphemism again

I think if I had told my children that Daddy had passed away or gone to heaven they would have said “Do you mean died?” We just didn’t use terms like that in our house.

If you say someone’s gone to heaven surely a young child would think he might come back?

When my dad died my mum couldn't bring herself to use the word "died". She would say he passed away. To me it sounded more gentle that the word "died". Let people use whatever term they're happy with.

I prefer to say He /she died, though I understand that some people find “passed away” gentler. I do not like “passed”.

I have always been matter of fact about death, perhaps because I took the phone call about my Nan’s death when I was quite young, and her sister did not want to say anything ambiguous. She hop neded to be clear so I could tell Mum. I also took a couple of other calls about deaths of people who were important to us. All when I was about 10-12.

Now my sister is beginning to forget that our parents are dead and sometimes I have to remind her gently. I say “ Dad died”. Maybe the time will come when I don’t tell her any more, if she gets too upset, and just leave her in her own world. I don’t know.

Middle paragraph second sentence should read She needed to be clear.

Grandma70, if a child had been brought up in the Christian faith they would know there was no coming back, i didn’t speak of heaven to my daughters , as a Christian I did speak of Christ’s promises

I’ve just remembered that when I was 8 my grandmother died. She had been living with us for about 6 months because she was ill. My parents told me one morning that she had died. Although I had not known she might die, I accepted it without any problem, and was certainly not upset by the word. They would never have used a euphemism of any sort. If they’d said ‘passed away’ I wouldn’t have known what they meant.