To find the use of 'passed' instead of died irritating?

I generally don't like euphemisms at all.

Regarding death, why do some people say they have 'lost' their husband/wife?

A friend's wife died a few years ago, and whenever anyone said 'oh I hear you have lost your wife' he replied 'no she's not lost, she died'

As a child I did go to church, because my parents thought I needed to know what it was all about, and of course we had hymns and prayers at school. I knew my parents didn’t really believe in it, but I enjoyed church and hymns etc. I don’t think I ever regarded it as more than a fairy tale.

I assume some say ‘lost’ because it’s their choice

I hate the whole language that surrounds death. When my mum died the funeral director, who was a lovely chap, asked me "Where is your mother now resting?" I had to bite my tongue to stop me answering "She's not resting she's dead."
I also wonder why every single organisation has to have a bereavement officer now whose sole purpose seems to be to slow things down and make things last asap.

sory that should be alap!

As a spiritualist i used the term 'passed' as in passed over to the other side.

I understand the use of euphemism when it creates some emotional distance for the bereaved but like our poster it irritates me in the press or T.V. When the reporter should need no emotional distance......they are paid to speak plainly and not to make it more palatable.

Undertakers chapels are called Chapel of Rest. Chapel of the dead sounds like a horror film

The BBC never announce a death as anything but - Jo Blogs died yesterday, never heard them announce Jo Blogs passed yesterday

Anniebach

I always thought that originally the British expression was passed away, and the Americas just say passed.

The main concern is, you don't want to hurt someone's feelings when talking about their loved one who has died. So people try and use expressions that are less stark. I'm sure it's meant well.

I dislike the term 'gone before' because it creates (to me) a picture of someone in a long dark tunnel, endlessly waiting.
I prefer 'died' and 'death' to 'passed away', but if it comforts people to use these words, does it matter?

Here's the etymology for those that might find it useful: apparently 'Pass' was once more common than it is now for 'go, move'.
OED 1, s.v. Pass, verb, cites pass alone, with no preposition, to mean 'die' (sense 11.) from about 1300.

Pass away, meaning depart, has been used in the sense 'die' since about 1375; Lay Folks Mass Book: “God lord graunt .. rest and pese Þat lastis ay to christen soules passed away.” [Grant rest and peace to Christian souls passed away]

All doctors and counsellors are taught never to use expressions like 'fell asleep' passed or passed away. Especially in front of children. Children will understand what 'dead' means but can be terrified of going to sleep when these softer expressions are used.

I prefer to say 'died', though I also believe we pass on to another place. Only God knows where.
On a different note - one of our dear border collies used to attack cars, and eventually killed himself. I told our french neighbour, "Nous avons perdu Tip" .He replied "Avez-vous cherche tout autour? ie - ' we've lost Tip' - 'Have you searched all over?'

Sorry if I missed this up-thread but what I dislike are flippant expressions such as popped her clogs, fell off his perch, kicked the bucket - all now used of actual deaths rather than vague times in the future. I don’t like passed away, still less passed, but not so bad as the insensitive ones.

"Passed Away" irritates me, but it is just about acceptable when someone slowly fades from life to death after a long illness, as it reflects a slow transition from one state to another. It always seems totally the wrong expression when used, as it often is in the press, to describe a violent death.
I made sure the expression wasn't used when my father died, he didn't do anything quietly in his life and it sounded too namby pamby for him.

My husband died as did my parents before him. All the GCs say 'Grandad's dead'. (They all make this announcement every so often which I am now used to and it opens a conversation about him although most of them didn't know him). If you refer to a deceased person as "asleep", "gone away" or any other euphemism, children take it literally and expect them to wake up or return. Personally I don't like passed away or passed; I find it twee but each to their own

Often saying dead or died just feels so final,you know in your head it is but in your heart you don’t want to let go.
When we go to the crematorium my children say they are going to see dad or going to dads garden and that’s their way of dealing with it.
Don’t think anyone should object to how a person speaks about it,too personal for that

JenniferEccles Fri 03-Aug-18 12:25:49
I generally don't like euphemisms at all.
Regarding death, why do some people say they have 'lost' their husband/wife

Perhaps because they have done just that, lost a soulmate, lost a companion, lost their best friend, lost their life partner, lost the father of their children, lost the love of their life, lost the person who made them complete.
To anybody who dislikes that I would say “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it”.

So true Maw

Chapel of rest for the dead (or deceased) would sound a bit gentler I think.

Pecs, I agree with you. It sounds like an unfinished sentence. I take it that it springs from when it was common to say ‘ has passed away or passed to the other side ‘ which has now been shortened ( as a lot of language seems to be these days)

MawBroon, I’ve tried it. My husband died when he was 40. I wouldn’t dream of saying I’d ‘lost’ him.

I prefer the word “died” and have told my son and daughter that when the time comes I will have DIED and not “passed away”.