Is what I have done so very wrong?.

I'm not a "child person"....never wanted them....never had them.

The way it looks to me is like you just made a nice "thank you" type gesture...showing willing so to say.

Nowt wrong with it.....and I wouldn't even have bothered to mention it to you if I were your daughter. I'd have just mentally shrugged and thought "Oh well....no problem with that" and let it be.

Puzzled as to why she's doing a massive overreaction. She needs to get over herself. She should just appreciate the help you're giving and leave it at that.

It was something you wanted to do and, quite frankly, I don't understand why your daughter got so upset.

‘You can’t do right for doing wrong’.
Leave her to stew and it will all blow over.

I think she felt you were undermining her. She probably feels guilty because she is not a stay at home mum and has to work and has to rely on you.
Added to being pregnant and this very hot weather.
Yes an over reaction but I did think you overstepped the mark a little bit and the inference was she had not thanked them enough.
Apologise as you have and carry on.

You sound a kind person. It would never occur to me to give anything to my grandchild's teachers because I know my adult child gets them a gift at end of term and I don't know the teachers. I'm sorry that a kind gesture seems to have caused this upset. You have apologised, only in my opinion, just give your daughter the space. I think in time she will come round, you have a good relationship if you are involved with the wee one.

Might be a little guilt there, on her part, that you helped out so much. Maybe with you giving a gift, it brought out that guilt, if that makes sense?
No, I don’t think you overstepped the mark, tbh. It was a kind gesture, just that!

Mt61

Might be a little guilt there, on her part, that you helped out so much. Maybe with you giving a gift, it brought out that guilt, if that makes sense?
No, I don’t think you overstepped the mark, tbh. It was a kind gesture, just that!

Yes, this is probably why.

So much is expected of grandparents these days, often expected to be on duty, but always having to be careful not to over-step some invisible line defined but not explained.

I'm not speaking from experience but from reading posts on here and listening to a couple of people I know with young grandchildren, one set of whom have been cut off from seeing their young DGC because of some perceived slight.

I don’t think you did anything wrong. You have apologised and hopefully it will blow over. Our AC can be very touchy. I tread on eggshells at times 🙈

Oh dear CS1958. I feel for you as I would be upset if my DD reacted like that. I think it is an over-reaction on her part, but like others have said, maybe it’s a bit of Mummy Guilt that you have done so much of the taking to/from nursery that she feels rather envious and that she’s missed out. I can understand you feeling very upset. If it had been me, I would have asked my DD first if she was happy for me to take the staff a little gift. I say this because my DD can be a bit sensitive and I’m never sure how she’ll react to a situation. You’re very kind and thoughtful and had the very best of intentions. So sorry that your DD has taken it the wrong way. She may also have felt that maybe her gift to the staff wasn’t perceived by you as being enough and therefore you had “supplemented” it with a gift of your own, which I know isn’t the case. She’s probably still very hormonal and will come round in time. Give her some space - you’ll soon be “needed” again. Does this mean that you’re not now able to see your grandchildren? That would upset me too if that’s the case. Again, give her space to think about things. You’ve apologised profusely and can’t do any more. All the best. 💐

I fail to understand at all why she is so annoyed with you. I hope she has calmed down by now? Or does so very soon. It seems to be a 'thing' these days to take offence over trivial things. So sad.

I wouldn't have done it. In that situation you are a helping hand. She see it as you taking over her role when she can't fulfil it herself. That said she is feeling delicate or she might have not had such a strong reaction.

Seems to me that some of today's ACs would argue with a lamppost!

OP, that was a lovely gesture. Your DD is way out of order.

So much is expected of grandparents these days, often expected to be on duty, but always having to be careful not to over-step some invisible line defined but not explained.
Absolutely, Allira. This says it all.

I don’t understand your daughter’s reaction and I can imagine it’s made you feel rotten when all you did was say a simple thank you to hardworking staff ! Just leave it and wait and see if she thinks better of it. Only once in my life did I upset my dear mum with words (I was a new mum feeling hormonal and under pressure at the time and I really regretted it soon after). Hope things improve soon x

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1283858-daughter-wants-to-terminate-at-16-weeks

My i ask if this is the same daughter who mentioned in the thread above?

You are not in the wrong. You have given a gift from yourself to say thank you. Please don’t beat yourself up. I really don’t understand our kids at times. This has happened to me before and I’ve apologised even though I didn’t think I needed to. Give her some time and space and then get in touch. Hugs to you because it is hurtful and blooming unnecessary!

It's a strong reaction but to be honest then my GC was leaving nursery in similar circumstances I asked DD if she was getting a gift for nursery, did she want me to get something. I hadn't thought about but I suppose I was thinking I didn't want to step into her space.

Seems to me that some of today's AC would argue with a lamp post I think you are right Blinko.

It sounds as though she is jealous/resentful of the rapport you developed with the nursery staff over the long period you very kindly took and collected your grandchild from nursery. There is no ‘overstepping the mark’. You made a kind and thoughtful gesture as a sign of appreciation.
Your daughter is overstepping the mark treating you this way.
Are you meant to be a silent taxi service.

Say no more and see what happens when she requires your help in the future. Something tells me she will be eating humble pie.

I guess she knows she hold all the trumps ( the grandchildren) so she can play her hand any way she wants, she’ll always be the winner🙁

If any of mine had a tantrum about what I did with my money and who I gave presents to they’d get a pretty sharp reminder about respect and boundaries.

But I don’t have grandchildren…………

Total overreaction on her part, she must obviously have a reason but I can't see how terrible a thank you card and biscuits can be? Especially as you've seen these staff members for 2 years, 4 days a week.

I wonder about your relationship with your daughter. Is she used to being the assertive (bossy) one? Maybe you need to reassert yourself as a person, not Mum or Grandma.
I’m not sure when I started being an AC pleaser but recently I’ve started reasserting myself - saying what I will do, saying no if that’s what I want to do, giving my opinion even if it’s different from theirs. Calmly, non-argumentatively and listening to them too and it seems to be working.
I do remember being jealous of many things as a new Mum - me doing housework while others cuddled the baby, relatives buying better birthday presents than we could afford etc. Thankfully I didn’t say anything and soon realised how selfish that was! No doubt your DD feels she’s missing out and sometimes can’t keep it to herself.
With my DC we have agreed to preface a difficult discussion with ‘you might not like this but I have to say it …’ So we stop, listen and try not to get huffy It’s getting easier over time too, after all we both have D(G)C best interests at heart.
If it doesn’t resolve soon you could ask her to consult Mumsnet - I’m sure she’ll get some forthright views on there!

I’m not saying that your daughter is the same as mine but when I didn’t ask “how high” when she asked me to jump then I got the wrath of her temper. She dangled the carrot and away I had to go. I didn’t see my two beautiful grand daughters for two years. Long story. Her ex husband stepped in snd brought me back into the girls lives. Sadly I tried everything to get my daughter back into my life. I gave up after five years. We’ve been estranged now for 10.5 years. I never thought my life would be like this. Hugs.

You haven't done anything wrong, it was a kind gesture. I am baffled by youngsters today and their warped ideas.

You have taken and collected your granddaughter to nursery for 4 days a week for two years and have undoubtedly formed a relationship with the staff, and it was a pleasant gesture to thank them which they will appreciate.
Your daughter's reaction is ridiculous; she should be grateful for all the time you have given willingly and freely, and one where you have formed a slight relationship witht the staff, which is something she should be thankful for. Really, tell her tp grow up; I agree with posters who question what self-obsession is it that adult children feels allows them to abuse their parents who help them.