moving on after bereavement

jen I will look out for his seat next time I am at Beamish.

we all have to do what we have to do and what feels right for us. I still have all J's suits in the wardrobe and shoes in the hall cupboard - I open the door, go to clear them out and have to stop, it's far too painful. The girls tell me just to leave them until I am ready but I have cleared other drawers and have relocated some of his clothes : sailing gear has all gone to the step-grandsons and loads of summer shirts to their Dad and I even took a mac and jacket out to Sydney for the SiL there! As I write, I am wearing one of his jumpers which is comforting and the girls all have some too which helps them. Learner I agree with Narg - clear out the cupboards and put them away out of sight until you are really ready to finally dispose of them

I've just caught up on more of yesterday's and this morning's comments, and I feel quite tearful. My heart goes out to you all...Gally and Elegran, both whom I now have the pleasure to know, and the other women who are supporting each other when they too, are so very sad. How good Gransnet is. xx

Marelli my thoughts exactly!

The friend from Lifespan has just phoned and is coming to see me on Monday morning. I need to talk to her.
Ken died just before midnight and if I am not in bed before 11 I cannot go to bed before midnight. So last night I went to bed just after midnight and the Radio 4 news was on.
I am sure I heard that GPs get given extra money for putting people on the Liverpool Care Plan. That's how Ken died in January, so I need to talk to someone about it, but not my sons as they would be too upset.
If anyone knows anything about the LCP they will know what I mean.

Good luck for tomorrow morning, Jendurham, I will be thinking of you. I have to register DH's death tomorrow morning.
I don't know very much about the Liverpool Care Plan - I think I've heard it referred to as the Liverpool Pathway? - but there do seem to be some concerns about it lately.

"Bon courage" for tomorrow Learnergran - this is so hard and I will be thinking of you

We'll all be thinking of you, Learnergran. xx

Thanks gracesmum. I've had a complete panic tonight trying to find our documents - DH has always insisted on keeping them "safe", and finding their safe spot was not easy. It would have been, of course, had my brain not turned into complete mush.

Thanks Marelli. There has been so much to do. But not enough to fill in all the waking hours, especially those at night. Oddly, I don't have any trouble falling asleep but 4:00ish (3 this morning) sees me prowling around trying not to wake the kids up. DH was always a very early riser.

Jendurham and Learnergran thinking of both of you.

learner {{{hug}}} we will all be with you tomorrow.

Learnergran and Jendurham my heart goes out to you

I know there's lots of recent controversy about the Liverpool Care Pathway. My sister was on it in the last couple of weeks of her life, in the hospice. It was absolutely the right thing for her, and she had discussed it with her husband and consultant before she became incapable of making decisions. It was managed with compassion and we were consulted about her progress every day. It was reviewed daily, although the standard on her plan said every three days. She couldn't take water as she had a tracheostomy, but her mouth was bathed and kept moist. She died peacefully, in no haste, no pain, and in complete comfort.

Hello glass, nice to talk to you again.
It must be such a comfort to you, when, that your sister had such a peaceful death. That was how I felt about my mother, who was nearly 92. She had been loved and well cared for but I feel quite sure in my heart that she would have been ready to simply fall asleep and drift away. The kind of exit we would all hope for I think.

I've only just caught up with this thread and I'm saddened by all the stories but so impressed with the courage of all of you who have lost partners. I can't begin to understand what you are all going through but my sympathy goes out to you all and you are in my thoughts

learner

I'm another who has only just caught up with this thread. Grief is so very unpredictable - and just plain tiring, often because even when we're in the thick of it we are still trying to ensure that other affected people are being supported. I do hope that all you lovely people who have experienced recent losses find yourselves surrounded by family and friends who will help care for you.

I can only send supportive thoughts to all in this sad situation.

Jendurham and Learnergran I feel so sad for you. Reading your posts have made me even more determined to make every momemnt of my marriage count. Your hearts must feel fit to burst [with grief]...but still you need to be in control of the "nitty gritty" aspects of every day life, regarding finance and such. I cannot bear to place myself in your position. And yet, at some point, one of us will leave the other to carry on alone. I hope that you are being cared for and receiving the support that helps to ease your pain.

I really appreciate the support.
And I could do with a little more today please - funeral at 2:30 this afternoon.

Learnergran

What a sad day for you Learnergran I saw your post earlier and the power went off for a few hours and I couldn't send a comment. I have been thinking of you probably laying awake in the night with thoughts of the day ahead. You really have my sympathy and ((((hugs)))).

learner we will all be with you today

Learner Deep breath! (((hugs)))

Learner