Background: Parents are pensioners - nearing 70. I am the eldest of three daughters. Sister in question is the youngest, late 20's. Myself and middle sister live about 1 hour away, youngest sister lives 5 minutes up the road. We all have children. Children of youngest sister: 2 and 5.
Problem: Sister is constantly around parent's house with said children. Parents are being used as childcare day in, day out. She will turn up in the morning - and stay put till her hubby gets back from work. She will go upstairs and sit on computer, checking facebook, mumsnet etc. Kids are left roaming around downtairs usually - mum and dad left watching them, dealing with food requests and general children wants and needs. If parents need to go out - sister and children will accompany them.
Mum has confided to me that she is very tired and having the children there almost constantly is becoming very draining. They start screaming and being loud as kids will and mum says that she finds herself starting to shake and becoming anxious. I will ring her up to see how she is early evening and I can hear them all romping and screaming in the background. I will say, 'it sounds busy, where is 'J'' - mum replies, 'she is sitting on the computer'. It is making my mum ill and she will not say anything to her. My dad is not in the best of health either.
We will go round to see them at weekends, and sister will even turn up then, depending on what her hubby is doing. I rarely get to see my parents on their own. This sounds petty I know but I would like to see them without having to see her and her offspring!
Mum says I mustn't say anything to her - I am not sure. I feel that if I start to say something I will not stop, there will be a huge fight. I feel she is being selfish.
So Gransnet - what should I do? Put up and shut up knowing my mum is becoming ill? Or start World War 3 by suggesting that she could perhaps look after her own children and stop abusing mum and dad's good nature. Am I just jealous because she has free childcare when I haven't? Sorry so long. Ask questions if you think I have left anything out. Thank-you.
SallyAnn Mon 20-Aug-12 10:48:10
Bags Mon 20-Aug-12 10:57:28
AlisonMA Mon 20-Aug-12 11:09:31
Elegran Mon 20-Aug-12 11:11:43
absentgrana Mon 20-Aug-12 11:13:00
Elegran Mon 20-Aug-12 11:15:53
dorsetpennt Mon 20-Aug-12 11:34:00
petallus Mon 20-Aug-12 17:48:28
dorsetpennt Mon 20-Aug-12 17:56:42
petallus Mon 20-Aug-12 18:00:10
glammanana Mon 20-Aug-12 18:04:32
Annobel Mon 20-Aug-12 18:16:03
nanaej Mon 20-Aug-12 18:19:52
janeainsworth Mon 20-Aug-12 18:28:05
Mishap Mon 20-Aug-12 18:32:27
Annobel Mon 20-Aug-12 18:41:46
SallyAnn Mon 20-Aug-12 21:41:38
tattynan Mon 20-Aug-12 22:16:18
Elegran Mon 20-Aug-12 22:16:45
Mishap Mon 20-Aug-12 22:18:05
petallus Mon 20-Aug-12 22:51:14
JO4 Mon 20-Aug-12 23:00:42
Annobel Mon 20-Aug-12 23:02:00
JO4 Mon 20-Aug-12 23:02:12
confusedbeetle Wed 12-Sep-12 14:09:03