would a other grans be hurt by this

I would not expect to just turn up at DC's homes, it is always by arrangement. I love my family dearly but I would not want them turning up on my doorstep as and when they please.

Here's my tuppence worth - family just "dropping in" is one of the things I miss the most since moving to the UK. I get a little pang in my heart when I remember how I would often hear the gate and it would be my brother with a big grin on his face and a fresh line-fish he had caught that very morning, held out as a gift. Sometimes it would inspire an impromptu barbecue. How can that possibly be rude!

I love people just popping in - obviously if it's going to be a l-o-n-g visit then they'd check whether we're available, of course.

I'm with greenfinch Anya and like minded others.

'Dropping in' was part of my childhood and also when I had small children. The kids used to be round at each other's houses and so were the mums.

I would NEVER drop in on anyone!
Wouldn"t expect anyone to drop in on me either !

No one ever really drops in on me anyway . But, on the rare occasion that they do [it's the same with phone calls as well] it will always be on a Saturday afternoon cause they know I'll always be in watching the racing. Then, of course, I can't watch the racing ...

That would really get my goat TEGAN!

I was brought up in a family where aunts, uncles, friends just 'dropped in' and I missed that when I moved away. DP were too far away and they used to come and stay and MIL who lived nearby worked full-time. However, DB used to drop in sometimes in the week and I loved to see him, and he and SIL plus their DC used to drop in at the weekends, as we did to them.
I like people 'dropping in' although we don't have any relatives near here who can do so it is always nice to see friends and neighbours.

(now, where's my duster?)

It's fine to say you wouldn't just 'drop in' but it's not fine to call it rude. I certainly don't find it rude when someone drops in on me. In fact I really welcome a surprise visit.

I'm glad there are a few more of us now who are happy to be 'dropped in on' and if I was watching a favourite programme I'd just hit the record button.

I agree with Ariadne's comment I think it is quite rude to expect just to be able to drop in. - it is rude to assume that people will be available just because it suits the visitor to visit at a time that suits them with little thought of whether it is suitable for the person being visited. What's wrong with picking the phone up, calling them and saying 'I was going to pop round and see you if that's okay'?

holly sorry but I completely disagree with you. Equally what is wrong with being spontaneous?

I go for a walk most Sunday afternoons at a certain time. Depending on what route I take I pass a friend's house who is often working in her garden. We start a conversation over the low wall and more often than not it ends in the kitchen with continued chat over a cup of tea. Should I call her and let her know I am off for my walk and if she's in the garden I would like to stop in?

I haven't got a record button ....

Passing by on a walk and chatting over the wall is rather different to turning up on someone's doorstep and more or less inviting yourself in, though, Grannyknot!

If it's what your family's used to doing and everyone's happy then 'dropping in' is of course fine - but I'm with those who would much prefer to have some notice, and indeed some choice, in the matter.

It depends so much on the relationship. What if, say, you knocked on that ladies door and she was just getting ready to go and work in the garden but then felt obliged to say 'would you like a cuppa' and then not do what she intended to do? However, if the friendship was one whereby she could say 'oh, I'm just of out into the garden; grab a cup of tea and follow me outside' that would be fine'.

Would anyone put the garden before a visit from a friend? I certainly wouldn't.

It's the latter tegan. I suppose my point is that you wouldn't "just drop in" on people that you don't know well, or that are part of your family would you?

If someone dropped in on me and I was say tired, and that had stayed for however long, I'd say "Please go now it's time for my afternoon nap" (my kids know I do this).

And - re having the choice - when someone phones to make an appointment to come and visit you, and you don't like them or don't want them to visit, do you say "No, (sod off)". Or do you make an excuse and say "We must get together soon". Or what if someone makes an appointment and you say okay they can come and then they overstay their welcome. What then?

This thread is making me grumpy so I'm not going to comment again but will read it

... should be "they had stayed" not that.

Greenfinch; it depends how much time that person has. People live very high pressured lives these days and sometimes if they put an hour aside to do something they can't not do it.

I don't agree Tegan.Most things apart from appointments can be left for another time. I remember my grandmother who was always thrilled when we knocked on her door. I don't remember if she had a tidy garden or whether she ironed my pyjamas

Well, can't we accept that people are different? Your grandmother was thrilled when people dropped in Greenfinch, yet one mine wouldn't have been as she didn't like being taken unawares, as she put it!

I don't think there's a 'right' or 'wrong' way of doing things here.

Hang on a minute .... Greenfinch, GrannyKnot, others and I are all saying that we enjoy people dropping in on us. I think that was the main thrust of our posts.

It is quite within our rights to say that we are happy to have spontaneous visits and for some to say that our very welcome visitors are RUDE is absolutely not on.

If some of you would never welcome this then fine. We are not asking you to do as we do, but please do not call out visitors rude.

DD loves having visitors, however, when she and SIL were quite newly married one of their neighbours used to 'drop in' every evening at around dinner-time. (When I say neighbour I should say that, being farmers, he lived about 3 miles away, not just popping over the garden fence.) His wife had left him and DD always felt obliged to offer him dinner as he would just sit there and not go when she was dishing up and putting dinner on the table. DD felt sorry for him but also got thoroughly fed up with his visits!

Well said Anya.There is nothing rude about popping in on people.

I think a lot of comments on this thread have been taken out of context. Time to move on, methinks.

Only one person said they thought it was rude, and only one other person agreed with them!

The rest of us who would rather not be popped in on, and wouldn't do it ourselves, have just been expressing our personal views, not criticising others.

Do get over yourselves - it's not a matter of right or wrong!

I think a lot depends on whether we have a house tidy enough to welcome unexpected guests [and we all know what my housekeeping skills are like!]. At this moment in time you can't walk anywhere here without climbing over boxes or rubbish sacks and there is washing either drying or waiting to be washed everywhere. When I'm spring cleaning things get an awful lot worse before they get better [if they ever do!]. Also, since I've retired I'm often still in my pyjamas in the afternoon . In fact, by the time I change out of them it's often time to change back again.