Hopeless dilemma

Soontobe Probably a wise move, if you don't not want to feel you are being got at.

sorry about that, I x posted with everyone who posted after river walk

OOPS! Soontobe Probably a wise move, if you don't want to feel you are being got at.

I haven't joined this thread, although I have been following it, because I felt I had nothing to add that would help, although my heart goes out to all of your family Luckygirl.

What has made me reply is that a member of what seems to be an extreme sect has been so arrogant. I have no idea how I would cope and I am sure most posters feel the same, grateful just to know that this is not a situation their DDs and DGCs are having to face.

As for it being OK to judge the writer will know Matthew 7:1-3

"Judge not, that ye be not judged.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again"

That said the most important thing is to tell you Luckygirl that you are in my thoughts and I am sure that, with the children's interests so much at the centre of all your thoughts I am sure you will find a way through this minefield.

Luckygirl I hope your daughter is feeling physically better now. It is so hard for you - you want to do something to help her but your hands are tied. I find that I still want to 'make everything right' for my family when they are hurting and the most difficult thing is having to wait out situations until they come to a resolution. And sometimes the waiting goes on for years. You are a support and listening ear for you daughter and that is probably all you can do at present but that is really a lot although you are itching to 'do something'. Your daughter and her children are safe now and will continue to be so because of your and her determination to avoid any repeat of the previous episode and the rest, although unpleasant at the least, will unfold over time. You have dealt with this so well, keeping a calm front when you really wanted to reach for a shotgun. I am sure you will continue to be that strong support and I really admire you.

"wait out situations" .....good point.
Just hope and pray that FiL eventually gets the message that his actions were not correct.
It takes most men a long time to back down and show they realise they were in the wrong.

I haven't been around for a day or two, so have only just caught up. Luckygirl what an appalling thing to have to deal with! There are lots of wise comments and much support for you here, all of which I totally endorse. What an awful man.

You are doing all the right things - good for you. X

I cannot tell how helpful it is to have this supportive community in this troublesome situation. It is something that has arisen which was so unexpected and came out of the blue. It helps me to get it of my chest here, as in "real life" I am having to hold back and bite the tongue.

Many thanks to you all.

I really hope it is true that "what goes around, comes around". I have been hanging onto this saying for some time because of a situation in our lives over which I have no control so I offer it to you and yours Lucky in the hope that it gives you some comfort.

Also, there must be a very good reason you chose that Gn name, so hang onto that too!

Nelliemoser. Your quote is about children. And as people know who read the Bible quite a bit, nothing whatsoever to do with this situation.

It is ok to judge behaviour Gracesgran, but not the person.
Luckygirl has now explained why the sil didnt return home. I hope he has now. Believe it or not, I am allowed to say that, as a Christian, and a member of gransnet.
I am a Methodist, as I have said before, so hardly an extreme sect!Probably the most benign of the Christian organisations. Though Methodism is a broad church so to speak.

I am a member of gransnet as much as anyone else. And this is very much a public forum. It is open to at least everyone in the UK to speak.
The matter is about domestic violence, so hardly a trifling matter.
I will say again, that Luckygirl said she ignores my posts so she either does or she doesnt.
She doesnt have to read them. That is her perrogative.

Things are still being said about myself so I will reply. It was made my business by the negative pms.
I refuse to be silenced by whatever the number of negative pms. [I havent received any, since the initial bunch].

As people can see, I was supportive upthread. I can be supportive again. But support doesnt normally just mean there, there.

Now I offer my other cheek again. Either on this thread, or by pm.

I have said what I needed to say. I hope that that is the end of it, but if it isnt, please feel free to post some more.
It may be better for Luckygirl's sake to pm me instead though, so she can carry on getting support on this thread, without this stuff getting in the way.

I thought luckygirl's dilemma was precisely about children, and specifically her grandson. So nelliemoser's Bible quote is entirely apposite.
It is a horrible situation and one that none of us would wish to find ourselves in.
Despite the potential fallout, I think it has to be discussed openly within the family, again, unenviable and Grandad has to see that what he did was wrong, especially as it sounds as if it was not a quick, light tap (OK we still don't do that) such as a parent might have given in to under extreme provocation in our day.
Yes this is a public forum and all are free to comment, but in the same way all are free to disagree with those comments. It would be nice to be supportive of a fellow gran and think " there but for the grace of God..." perhaps?

You said Soontobe
I am a member of gransnet as much as anyone else. And this is very much a public forum. It is open to at least everyone in the UK to speak.

I am assuming members who live abroad, Australia, the US , France etc are not precluded?

Hello Alea are you a new member? I don't think I have encountered you on here before but welcome.
You certainly seem to have the measure of what goes on here judging by your posts on this thread.
Beware of GN addiction though.

Too much pm-ing on GN. Just say it on the thread.

Why should soon have received "negative pm's"? Not good.

#cowardycustard

Agree

Also agree. Anything to say? Say it here.

I think soon made it clear who the PMer was. Seems as though it was only one.

But I agree absolutely - say it on the thread or don't say it at all (unless it's something private and supportive, of course.)

Oh dear. I'd missed that. And now I'm starting to think the PMs were understandable.

Missed what?

Alea 'at least everyone in the UK' does not rule out the rest of the world.

I winder if this discussion about pms could take place on a separate thread please - I would find that helpful if possible.

That it had been made clear who the PMer was.

Sorry - wonder.

X posts. Sorry.