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Coping with anxiety

(92 Posts)
Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:00:15

Does anyone have a strategy for coping with extreme anxiety over my family's safety? My 11 year old granddaughter is going with friends and responsible adults to play in the River Dart tomorrow and I can't stop crying over her safety. Her mum is ok with it and I can't transfer my feelings to her. I know GD has to have fun and there'll be many more times like this to come but I'm tearing myself apart. Please can anyone tell me how to deal with myself? Nobody else to talk to.

obieone Mon 08-Aug-16 22:02:15

Do you normally feel like this?

Anya Mon 08-Aug-16 22:03:40

Are you usually an anxious kind of person Lindi?

Grannyknot Mon 08-Aug-16 22:06:32

hi lindill your GD will be safe. She is going with responsible adults. Your anxiety is causing you to catastrophize.

Think about her enjoyment and adventure and excitement when she comes to tell you all about it.

Has something happened in the past or recently that has caused you to be like this?

Stay on here, others will be ing soon to reassure you further.

flowers welcome if you're new.

Tresco Mon 08-Aug-16 22:07:19

I would think something like cognitive behaviour therapy would help. Have you seen your GP about this? Is there perhaps an underlying reason - perhaps a previous experience of loss - that might be causing such extreme anxiety?

Grannyknot Mon 08-Aug-16 22:07:36

"Be along" not "be ing". And they already are smile

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:08:05

No I've always been extrovert and optimistic and adventurous myself. I'm getting like this as I get older.

obieone Mon 08-Aug-16 22:10:33

Are you on pills, or different pills from usual, or a different dosage, if you dont mind me asking?

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:10:34

I find myself crying over the awful things in the news and I very often have to switch the tv off.

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:12:07

Nothing different - just petrified all the time about their safety. I don't pass it on but die inside every time they travel.

obieone Mon 08-Aug-16 22:12:33

Do you think you could possibly be a bit depressed?

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:19:14

Don't think so - family life good otherwise, comfortable lifestyle and holidays to come.

Coolgran65 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:19:45

Op...... think back to when you were that age and how you occupied your summer hols.

I am 67, at younger than 10, I was daily at the seaside with friends (10 minutes from home). No beach and when the tide was in full, at the promenade wall, it was 2 ft deep. We used a boat slipway to change into swimming costume and roll our clothes into our towel. Lots of children from the area and some adults having a swim or just walking the promenade, all looked out for each other. Our parents knew where we were but weren't with us. Neither was there any responsible adult. That's how we played.

Nowadays, perhaps we need to allow a little excitement, your granddaughter will have responsible adults looking out for her.

I'm sorry you feel so worried and hope it doesn't transfer to your granddaughter.

As mentioned by a previous poster, are you generally a worrier to such an extent. I feel for you flowers

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:21:08

Just love my kids so much I'm frightened for them. They're not aware.

Anya Mon 08-Aug-16 22:22:04

Yes, we do see dangers more as we age.

I know exactly what you mean about worrying, especially about the grandchildren. All I can say is that I try to 1) tell myself they will be OK. 2) try to distract myself until I hear they are safely arrived/back home.

I think you are probably a very caring person, which is why you cry over the terrible things on the news and also why you worry. You probably have a very active imagination too. That's not usually a bad characteristic but it does enable you to see all the things that could go wrong....all we can do is remember it is most unlikely with responsible adults around.

In fact I aways was more 'responsible' towards other people's children than to my own..

Fear not flowers

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:23:46

You're right Coolgran. We were off over the fields and ponds aged 8. I did say I wouldn't watch any more news or read the papers!

Tegan Mon 08-Aug-16 22:24:28

My daughter was flying back from Lanzarote last night and I couldn't relax till I saw the words 'landed'on the airport website. And, instead of getting exited about my son's wedding I'm worried about them driving round Croatia for their honeymoon. However, I've always been an introverted pessimist so it as a concern that you're feeling this way Lindill. When I told a doctor many years ago that I was worried about a lot of things he said to me 'do you get out and meet people much'. I replied that I had a small baby and, no I didn't. At the time I thought what a silly thing it was of him to say but, over the years I've realised he was right. Do you think it's the constant bombardment we get with 'bad news' all the time these days? Do agree that a chat with a doctor might be needed.

obieone Mon 08-Aug-16 22:29:30

I too think a trip to the doctor is necessary.

It isnt just the kids safety that is making you frightened.

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:30:07

Thanks for your reassurances- I do need more perspective over things. I'll take a sleeping tablet to get me through tonight and try to keep myself busy tomorrow. I've recently given up work (which I didn't like) so I need to take my mind off things.

Tegan Mon 08-Aug-16 22:35:35

I was actually going to ask if you'd just given up work. I think that's the key to it. I don't miss my job but I do miss chatting to people every day [although I now go to the gym most days and chat to people there].

Gracesgran Mon 08-Aug-16 22:40:11

Lindill49 are you physically well. Strangely anxiety can be a symptom of physical illness and can go if the illness is treated.

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:44:46

Must admit I'm feeling my age (66) - aches and pains incl osteoarthritis in hips & degenerated disc causing occasional sciatica but I keep active.

Badenkate Mon 08-Aug-16 22:47:02

Are you sleeping OK Lindill? I've often found that when I'm getting more anxious, that actually I'm very tired for some reason.

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:53:39

Sleeping right through (very rarely need tablets) but very tired during the day and often have to have a nap at 11am and again at 3. Can't usually cope after 10pm. Thought about sleep apnoea but hubby says not.

Lindill49 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:58:36

Sorry this is turning into a medical forum and I don't want to bore people. I'll just try to control my feelings as advised - thanks everyone.