Have been lurking on this forum for some time, but this is my first post on here and I have a dilemma that I would appreciate an unbiased opinion on.
My partner and I have a 9yr old granddaughter and she's just been asked to be bridesmaid for my son's best friend, my son is going to be the best man. GD has already been a bridesmaid before, in fact 2 times, so is well versed with what it entails.
The fly in the ointment is the ex fiance of the future groom who is the sister of my DIL. In her opinion it's totally unacceptable for our GD to be a bridesmaid as she feels that as the groom is her ex fiance it somehow makes it inappropriate.
Our GD has a wonderful relationship with the future groom, calls him Uncle, sees him a lot, but also has a good relationship with her auntie who is causing all the fuss. It's reached a stage now where my son and his wife aren't talking and DIL phoned me today for an hour and a half and said she'd been given an ultimatum by her sister & father that if GD is bridesmaid then they will never speak to her again.
I'm really quite shocked by all this as it seems to be a total overreaction to something that should be a happy time. DIL's sister is herself married, GD was a bridesmaid at her wedding and she is expecting her first baby in the Spring and is using the pregnancy as a weapon in all of this, saying that is she has a miscarriage then it's all my son's fault for wanting his daughter to be a bridesmaid.
I feel caught in the middle as my son phones me telling me how upset he is and quite honestly I can see why as DIL's intention is to either not tell GD she has been asked or to try to talk her out of wanting to do it, which I don't think is fair on a 9yr old. Or perhaps I am wrong as according to my DIL everyone she talks to agrees with her 
