Soul-mate or sparring partner?

I'm not sure what would be the best definition of soulmate? I doubt we all mean the same thing.

Sparring partner today, he is driving me bonkers!

We very rarely argue but are definitely not soul mates. We have totally different likes and rarely watch tv together as we don't like each other s programmes. We have separate friends and don't go out together. Nor arguing doesn't equate with being happy.

Ex DH was definitely my soul mate and love of my life. But unfortunately broke my heart after 16 years of marriage. Still hurts all these years later. Sadly do not have the same connection with DH who I've been married to for 10 years. Maybe it's a once in a lifetime experience?

Soul mate? Definitely
Rows? Not one, in almost 40years.
Best friend, Dad and Grandad.

We were soul mates. I was brought up in an argumentative and at times, nasty atmosphere. Dad loved a good argument and Mum was the peacekeeper - she had to be or it would have been permanent warfare. I said that I would never marry anyone like Dad as he could be so unpleasant. Surely the world outside is a place that can sometimes be horrible so that your significant relationship needs to a haven in a storm? That's my view but we're all different.

My husband and I rarely row, if we do its over very quickly and we are back to normal. He is my soulmate and we get on really well, as we are total opposites. I'm outgoing, he is definitely not. He is patient, I am not. I feel very lucky to have him...even though he has all the traits of other males such as untidiness, laziness, etc but I overlook these things as he is more important to me than the cushions being plumped when he gets off the sofa!!

Too different to be soulmates, but a team, yes. We have been married for nearly 50 years and I have never regretted it.

Don't know if soulmate but we shuffle along supporting each other we do have disagreements but not as often as when we first got married I love him to bits he is a great family man he will do for me been married 42yrs next week and I don't regret any of them ?‍❤️‍?‍?

DH and I are soul mates, he grew up in a violent environment, where confrontation and argument was the norm, my family would talk things out and come to agreements, so in that respect he says I've helped him to rationalise things. We do bicker but not about anything serious, we love each other's company, but also have separate interests and friends which is healthy, we seem to be the envy of our siblings, their marriages haven't been as happy as ours, and it's often remarked upon when we are at social occasions, how devoted we seem to be!

I wish. My best soulmates were my dog and horse. Both now sadly dead. Men have been fairly useless throughout. Do I pick badly, or am I bad at relationships?!

Funny I've just been discussing the subject of soulmates on another forum, mostly with very young people. I'm quite surprised to find older people here who actually think such a concept exists. What is it supposed to mean? Some of the youngsters think it means the one and only person you're supposed to be with. Bit awkward if you live on opposite sides of the world to each other and are fated to never meet!

My DH is my soul mate but we argue horribly sometimes and both wish we didn't. I am more rational than he is but he really wants to win so neither ever gives way until we are at a stand still. I watched my father bully and rob my mother and will not be browbeaten by any man. His mother
was dominant and spoiled him into thinking he was the centre of the universe so he wants his own way all the time. It makes for 'interesting times'. That said, we think alike on everything and have the same sense if humour. I would rather hear his take on any subject before anyone else's as it usually comprises what I was thinking or makes me laugh. So far we have made it through forty years.

I have been mulling this over since this thread first appeared. IThe term 'soul-mate' does seem to be applied to the idea of a 'one and only,' I used to think DH1 was my 'soul-mate', but was obviously wrong so I have tended to think this is a romanticism and used to post-rationalise and add/detract value from what is real in a relationship.

I now prefer to think in terms of well- matched and complementary. DH2 is so very different from DH1 they do not bear comparison.

With DH2, I think we share the same values, the same vision and that we are matched in kindness and thoughtfulness which is a very happy thing.

However, I do feel that we sometimes recognise 'an old soul' in people we meet and that some very special friendships in my life have been with people who I just feel I have always known. When I met DH2, I immediately felt 'at home.'

We are soul mates in the sense that we can't do without each other and although two very different people share a lot of common interests. We didn't meet until we were in our mid to late forties, so we both had had other relationships before.

This perhaps explains part of the reason that we are willing and usually able to understand the other's point of view.

We do sometimes have flaming rows, but only about things that are really important and usually once we have both cooled down we manage to reach a solution. Sometimes one of us realizes he/she has been unreasonable and apologises, sometimes we reach a compromise.

Morgana, I think you have a valid point, I too think many marriages falter because it is more difficult being two equal parties than the older view of marriage, where the husband decided in many instances, and if the wife could not change his mind, she just had to put up with his decision. Not that I would want to live like that!

Probably many women put up with unreasonable husbands, because divorce wasn't an option if you could not support yourself. Many men too must have put up with unreasonable wives, after all it wasn't until 1969 in England and Wales and 1970 in Scotland that irretrievable breakdown of a marriage became grounds for a divorce. Before that in Scotland at least, a wife who left her husband could not get custody of their children unless she could prove the man she was divorcing was either insane or morally unfit to rear children. The fact that she left or even worse had committed adultery proved in the eyes of the law that she was not fit to bring up children, especially girls as she was held to have no moral standards!
We do have a lot to be thankful for.

Soul mates here. 47 years and counting.

Not sure what a soul mate is really. But I do know the thought of living without my hubby fills me with horror! But that said, in a lot of things we are like chalk and cheese, but I would say, we are each other's best mates. But............we do have disagreements, which can get quite heated at times ( usually me ), but as others have said, we either agree to disagree or compromise.

I answer earlier that we are not soul mates in the way I understand the the phrase. Neither do I think DH is my best friend. I have others in the role of friends. He is my husband which in my mind is something very different and special .

It only takes one slight change in life's progress for us to not meet one person who would be our soul-mate and meet another one who is also our soul-mate.

In other words, I have deep reservations about the whole idea of the one and only. A less reserved geography teacher and I would have gone to a different university to read a different subject and would never have met DH. Who knows who else I would have met with whom I would have fallen in love?

Picked a goodun , glad we've got to this stage in life together and still laughing, will be so sad when he's gone but I just wish he could tell the difference between a clean dishwasher and a dirty one when he does actually remember to put a plate in it!