Grandson’s nursery time

I'm bemused by how this thread is going. Someone posts about a situation and asks opinions....er......why all the flack?
Surely offering opinions based on our own points of view, our 'judgement' is what's expected? We are given a few facts....we are asked something like 'Welcome your constructive comments' and then people reply. There will be a few odd balls but mostly people think about their own experiences and choices and offer up thoughts and comments. No one is saying 'phone social services' or 'kidnap the child'. Some people will view the situation as a perfectly acceptable solution to modern living whilst some will find the whole situation strange and just not something they are happy about. What's wrong with stating an opinion in an open forum?

Well said HildaW and mamacass and yes Iam64 i am sorry for the the little boy being so young to be away all those hours from his mum and deep down I think the majority of grans on here feel the same ...

I know three Headmistresses and one Headmaster, all of whom passed as much child care of their (only) child to others, grandparents, childminder and other parent.
One, very ambitious and career orientated, had been persuaded into having a child by spouse and grandparents, two had late unplanned pregnancies when well into their career, and one regarded holidays as the perk of the job, and 'me time.'
The important point is, all those children have grown up into happy, self-sufficient and well-balanced adults, with good relationships with both parents and no sense of deprivation.
The poster gave very little information about her daughter in law other than she was a teacher and a distant mother, and no information at all about her son and their marriage, therefore I think many of the comments were unduly critical.
Some children would benefit from less time with a particular parent.

Many, many years ago, when my own children were small (pre-school), I became quite friendly with a lady who had two small pre-schoolers, but also two teenage boys, the elder of which had just got into Oxford. I asked her advice on many subjects, but it what she said to me about home-parenting that has stuck with me.
she told me that babies and toddlers can have a good variety of carers, and can bond quite happily with them - however it is during the teenage years that it is most important for a parent to be at home and available to them. When a teenager says 'I need to ask/talk, etc about something'......the worst thing to do is to say something like 'okay, when I have finished peeling the potatoes/sorting out the washing. etc. etc;. That will usually result in slammed doors and no conversation.
She said that perhaps we have it all the wrong way round, good child care should be available outside the home during those pre=school years, but at least one parent should be able to be at home during the early teenage years.
This is relevant to this discussion, I am disappointed (to say the least), as to how condemnatory some of the comments in here have been about this mother (who they do not know at all - except for a couple of lines by her MiL). The child involved seems to be well looked after and happy at their nursery, shame to break their normal routine. he will still be with his parent(s) at weekends, and - on any family holiday planned with both parents.
How many of the wonderful(?) parents on here who were so happy with the time they were able to spend with their pre-schoolers were just as available to them during those teenage years.
I brought up six children, - and did find those words so very true. I was able to be a stay-at-home mum right up to the youngest started Uni. All my four daughters have returned to work after having their children - obviously for money, bus also by choice for their own sakes. Good nurseries have been used, and all my g.children seem to be well adjusted, happy, confident people.
Every family has to adapt to their own needs and circumstances - there is no 'one size fits all' - as long as a child (of all ages) knows they are loved by their parent(s), then all else will fall in place.
Definitely not the place of a g.parent to, in any way, criticise, these sort of parenting decisions taken by their Dil and Son.

I have to agree Franbern. If at all possible (and obviously it isn't always) it is vital to be on hand for teenagers!

I changed jobs for this very reason! I was working in London and living in the suburbs and was fine when I could have a childminder but as DDs grew older and wanted to be at home I wanted to be able to get home quickly and easily. I found a lovely woman who came to the house as they got home and she did some ironing/prepping for the evening meal. I was just a bike ride away rather than a commuter train journey so could be home by just after 5:00! So lucky to have been able to do that.