Frequency of visits

I usually see my DGDs once a week when I pick them up from school and they have tea with me. But they only live 15 minutes walk away. Imagine if they lived further (many miles) away it would be much less often.
When our DCs were young it was very different, as PILs lived up North, and my DM at the opposite end of the country - we were half way between them, so children only saw their grandparents in the school holidays, (I was a teacher, and DH worked shifts).
I think once a week is quite usual.

When my son divorced he moved next door to me for four years. In a house I own. I adored him living there because every second weekend and on a Tuesday after school, the children would run round and see me. It enhanced my life and I forged a real bond with them. But like most things it didnt last! New ladyfriend came along and he moved in with her. It was very hard at first as I missed the contact. But I am managing my expectations now! When I hear of friends who have a really close bond and are part of a close knit family .... usually with daughters not sons ...... it makes me feel sad, but hey, you can’t always get what you want. Coming on gransnet makes me realise that it’s fairly usual to be this way when you have sons and sometimes even daughters can be tricky!

You’re spot on mon, it’s about managing expectations, usually ours, sometimes theirs with babysitting . We’re currently readjusting to changes with them all and are a bit sad, it currently feels odd but experience says it will soon be ‘normal’. Just do what works for you and your daughter, you’ll be fine.

I normally see my mum and dad once a week and we see my MIL every few months.

Seems I'm going to be a lucky grandparent compared to others. I will embrace all contact I get. Thank you everyone. This has been very helpful.

When our GC were tiny we used to visit once a week so that they were comfortable with us when required for babysitting. They are older now and have busy lives, we visit maybe twice a month and help out as and when needed. Sleepovers at ours during school holidays are frequent and great fun.

There is no 'right' or'wrong' to this issue. Each family works out the pattern that suits them and even when all other things are equal (distance apart, work commitments, etc) two families with similar living patterns will have widely divergent visiting patterns.

Think back to when you were a young mother, who decided how often to visit or see grandparents, you or the grand parents? A child's parents make all the decisions about this and all other matters concerning the child's welfare.

If you have always had a good and easy relationship with your DD - and as she has lived with you for 5 months, I assume you have, just go with the flow.

There is no such thing as 'normal' in family relationships. Each family works out what is best for them.

I’m really lucky, I care for my Grandson two days a week so we’re building a fantastic bond. (Even if I’m shattered by Tuesday evening )

Once a week would be absolute bliss for me. I just take whatever opportunity I am offered and adjust my diary accordingly as seeing them or my children is number one priority without hesitation. Just wish I was a slightly higher priority on their lists but they do live this modern busy life with both parents working and I recognise their problems. I remember my own Mum saying she didn't see enough of me and I thought I was doing a pretty good job on that score. Guess we'll never be satisfied. At the end of the day, I'm just very grateful to have them in my life. Wonderful.

So many of you are so blessed to spend lots of time with your Grandchildren
I rarely see mine as my daughter in law dislikes me intensely
Perhaps twice a year when I meet my son & 3 Little Gradaughters for lunch at a restaurant in the city
My other 4 Grandies are overseas so that’s once a year if I visit them
But the teenage ones overseas do text me from time to time
I tell myself that I just need to get on & live my own life, but sometimes it’s hard especially at Christmas & Birthday times
But they are all doing well at school & college & are healthy as am I
So I do give thanks for that

I see my gd everyday she lives with us.

Twice a year, as they live abroad.

No such thing as “normal”, it’s all about what you all want as a family. I am lucky to see my AC and GC on a very regular basis, but I know others who are not that interested in babysitting or maintaining close contact. Each to their own, just enjoy .

Count yourself lucky twice a week! The only time I see my grandchildren is when they want looking after or I go and visit them!!

Never. Don't even know how many I've got.

Just to point out how lucky you are : living in France as we do, we see our granddaughters twice per annum if we are lucky - last year they did not come to visit at all and we were not invited to the UK. However, we are going for Christmas and they will come for the August Bank Holiday next year.

Currently my daughter who lives in another city visits with her toddler son overnight once a fortnight. He will soon be starting preschool and I would expect those visits to reduce to school holiday times only, and be further reduced by him also having to spend time with his father. This seems reasonably to me. However, if my daughter lived just down the road, I'd be more likely to expect them to pop in for an hour or so at least weekly, going on through at least primary school, and/or do some babysitting. After primary school I'd increasingly expect that I would see my daughter without the grandson, on many occasions as he found his own social life.

All mine live either in the States or Hong Kong. I cannot imagine how wonderful it would be to see them regularly
You are indeed lucky

Not a lot. They're all in late teens/20s and working or at uni. None live closer than a 3 hour drive away so logistically, it's a nightmare to coordinate their work and social lives with nanny coming over to see them. A quick coffee or lunch is not doable.
We catch up on WhatsApp and family meets twice a year for 2-3 days, usually at a hotel. Their parents keep in touch more than they do.
My 3 GGC are too young to miss not seeing me regularly but I visit them as often as possible, send the usual gifts and see photos on WhatsApp.
Not ideal but then, it's a changed world from the one my AC were born into. We have to go with the flow, adapt, compromise.

I see my daughter and her children once a week and more often if there is something we’re all involved in or if we look after the children. My other two grandchildren live abroad and we are lucky if we see them twice a year. Just enjoy whatever time you have!

MissAdventure How lovely that your 16 year old grandson wants to peddle round and see you. What a testament to the relationship that you have built up with him over time! My daughter was the same with my mum, over on the bus every Wednesday, a couple of hours of natter, homemade cake and then home! I was so pleased that they had that lovely relationship.

Too often, when they were young and the parents needed childminders. Now very rarely, as they are old enough to take care of themselves and would prefer to play on their devices than spend time with me. Seems that’s life. ?

Haven’t seen or even spoken to mine in two years (aged 10 and8). I have no contact, nobody will answer a phone, letter or email. I can’t even find out why. I have a very controlling DiL. We’ve never argued and I wouldn’t dare try.
Take anything you can get with your grandchildren. Love them as much as you can, when you can.

I am asked to look after my dgs far too often.
I usually end up cancelling my own plans to help out and sometimes feel resentful because of this.

I don’t like to refuse, as feel guilty if I do.
Already this week it has been twice.

I would keep,yourself busy in the meantime.
Once your Dd gets into a routine, I’m sure you will get to see them on a regular basis.

Surely seeing them once a week is enough.

I had my daughter and grand daugh yet live with me from her birth until she was over 2. It was daunting when they were suddenly gone into theit new home.
So I filled time by volunteering in my local charity shop and seeing more of my friends , work etc. I see her probably twice a week, and actually it's worked well. I facetime her when I want to see her little face. I don't want to beon top of them. They have their live to build xx