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should I take a gift?

(64 Posts)
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Oldwoman70 Sun 21-Apr-19 09:09:08

I have been invited to a friend's new house for lunch. She moved in some time ago but this is my first visit - others who are also invited for lunch have visited several times. I thought I would take along a bunch of flowers as a combined housewarming/thank you for lunch.

However on discussing this with someone last night they said that as the others would not be taking anything my flowers could make them feel uncomfortable. I know I could arrange for flowers to be delivered the next day as a thank you but then I would feel uncomfortable turning up with nothing!

She is a non drinker so a bottle of wine to go with lunch is not an option, besides most of us will be driving. So should I take flowers or not?

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JanaNana Mon 22-Apr-19 12:35:12

I wouldn't go empty handed if I was invited to lunch, it's courtesy to take a small gift whether this is a first visit or subsequent one.

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Kim19 Mon 22-Apr-19 13:41:54

Been reflecting on this and have to say that, turning this on its head to hostess, I would actually prefer to receive nothing. Don't ask me to explain or I'd sound ungrateful and the thought of anyone feeling unable to arrive without a gift mortifies me. It's people I want, not stuff.

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PamGeo Mon 22-Apr-19 13:43:24

Glad you're taking flowers, I would

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Pat1949 Mon 22-Apr-19 15:38:06

Yes, take some flowers, if everyone else takes nothing, why should it make anyone feel uncomfortable.

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notanan2 Mon 22-Apr-19 16:18:22

Take the flowers and watch your back with whoever told you not to. They have jealousy/compeditiveness issues with you.

I would never mind seeing a friend recieve a gift from a other friend so just watch yourself with that person and dont take their advice. It doesnt sound honourable

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Aepgirl Mon 22-Apr-19 16:32:47

Always take flowers.

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Seakay Mon 22-Apr-19 18:40:24

yes - your gift is for your host and not for the other guests

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knspol Mon 22-Apr-19 18:54:02

Would always take a small gift when invited for a meal or even just some biscuits if invited for coffee. Take the flowers and I'm sure friend will be very pleased.

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trendygran Mon 22-Apr-19 20:19:13

My present from my daughter on Mother’s Day was a lovely indoor Azalea plant. The flowers have just opened and will last longer than a bunch of flowers. Possibly a nice addition to a new house.

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kwest Mon 22-Apr-19 20:25:42

I would never turn up empty handed if invited for a meal at someone's house. It is simple good manners.
My daughter who lives a three hour drive away always brings wine and flowers or chocolates when she visits and sends a thank you email when she gets home again. I obviously treat her with the same respect and take wine, homemade preserves etc, home grown plants, that sort of thing. It is always special when we see each other and these little touches feel like a civilised thing to do.

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sarahanew Mon 22-Apr-19 20:27:13

If you feel you'd like to take flowers, then do. It doesn't matter what others think or do

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4allweknow Mon 22-Apr-19 20:45:18

I would go for a potted plant, one that can also go outside whether planted or sat on a patio.

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moggie57 Wed 24-Apr-19 23:15:24

how about flowers and a gift card.. for the new decor./garden.

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