Worry

Yes I suffer from anxiety and could gain a PHD in worrying.
I take supplements to try and deal with the stress and I have had counselling.
You are on holiday so try to give your worries a holiday too . My councillor told me to imagine myself leaving my worries in a big box outside the door to give them a rest. It sometimes works. He also told me worries tend to be caring people that want to make everyone else happy in my case so true but I found this comforting.

Before my husband died we went on holiday and I was so anxious but I did a lot of research into local hospitals doctors numbers and so on . I also asked on site what support I could expect and I was prepared. He had cancer and did actually come down with a chest infection and we did need to go to hospital but it was all a lot easier then I had worried. We had a lovely time and I now cherish the memories of our last holiday.
I am not much help but just wanted you to know your not alone in this. Try to have fun.

When I as young I didn’t worry about anything but after I had children then grandchildren I just worry about everything can’t switch off.Had anxiety attacks which started after the menopause & still on anti anxiety medication over 20 years later,tried to come off the tablets 2/3 times but I just start getting panic/anxiety attacks again so I guess I’m on them for life.If I get anything on my mind I can’t sleep at night.I wish that I wasn’t a worrier but think it’s just how I am.I guess we are all different & we all have different problems,I must add that I’m very lucky as I have a very supportive husband & family.

Me too, we have a holiday home in France, I worry the whole time ! No phone coverage, don't speak French.mwhat on earth do I do if there's an emergency. Oh Zibkniw how you feel !

Is everything alright right now is a good way to keep grounded. You can't worry about the future because you don't know what is going to happen. Have faith that everything is going to be alright and it usually is.

Hi fellow worriers,I worry and think "what if" people say why worry until it happens, and can you do anything about it until it happens, all very true but it doesnt help me.We have just come back from a two week holiday in our motor home in Poland, before going I was worried in case something happened, as my Husband had a heart attack in January this year, he is fine and probably didnt think about anything happening.We are now home again after an uneventful time, thankfully. I have a little note on my desk which says " I will not stress over things I cannot control"I think I should read this more often!

I'm about to move from a big house to a small flat and I'm finding it so stressful it's almost making me ill. There was a problem with the flat I'm buying, still is, my buyers are urging me to move fast, I have so much stuff to get rid of, time is running out and I'm waking in the night having a panic attack and then waking up in the morning with a dreadful feeling of fear, unhappiness and being overwhelmed. I've always been a worrier but this is like nothing I've experienced before. I think if I was younger and not on my own it would be easier, so I do sympathise with anyone who seems to be a 'born worrier'. It gets worse with age, I find!

I too am a worrier, including about things I cannot control.

The OP has prompted me to think of some suggestions.

1. Dolly56 - make a list of the things that you worry about. They have to be things that could really happen to you directly.

2. Identify the things you would be unable to do or find difficult to deal with in that situation (eg holiday in caravan: don't know how to drive, don't know if insurance covers towed vehicles) etc.

3. Find out if you could get help with these things - eg call insurers to see if the policy would cover for the vehicle being driven back to the home address and get confirmation in writing).

It is better to spend the time spent on worrying by taking action. Create a contingency plan or get others to help you with the plan as you may find there are things/people who can help.

If the consequences for you directly of the matter you worry about cannot be dealt with by a contingency plan it may be beyond your control and worrying about it will only make you feel more helpless.

A book I am reading on a related subject advises to never catastrophise. For example, a situation you worry about may make you concerned and upset but it is not necessarily a catastrophe.

I hope this helps.

I too prevent myself from worrying to much by being prepared.

I always make sure I have the local ambulance service, fire brigade and police numbers with me, both on my phone and written down, in case my phone dies or there is no mobile service.

If you don't drive or are nervous about towing a caravan, could you have an agreement with a family member or good friend that if, heaven forbid, you need to have the van towed home he/she will see to that, while you stay with your husband if he needs medical attention while you are away.

Alternately, perhaps a caravan isn't the best kind of holiday any longer. In a hotel you would be able to get help more easily.

Hi Judy I can so relate to you we have just moved after 40 years but at least I had my hubbie we had lived in our family home so long we had another house in the loft it took us 6 months to clear it all such a hoarder it was so stressful and emotional my husband couldn’t eat for the first week and I kept crying and wanting to go home we are now on week 3 it is getting better but still stressful such a lot to do hope things get easier it is not easy on your own could you not get packers or have you a good friend who could help you ,good luck and I hope you are settled soon xx

It's really important that you both share things as much as possible, because one day one of you will have to manage everything on your own, sadly. I was widowed at 54.

Do you drive? Have you ever towed a caravan? Do you know how to hitch up? I've towed a caravan up and down the country many times, there's nothing to it once you get your confidence up. Why not go on a weekend towing course. Alternatively, if you have Green Flag, AA, or similar they should be able to help. Ring up and find out. Can your husband cook? Why not swop roles now and then?

Dolly, enjoy your holiday! 9
3% of what we worry about never comes to pass xxxxxxxxxx

In case of confusion, I typed 93% and that is widely accepted.

oldgimmer1. I suffer from the exact same syndrome and I wake in the night and worry some more!!

I can relate to what you are saying. We are Motorhomers and my DH does not keep well. Just like some others I too note names of Doctors and Hospitals in the area. These details are usually kept in the information section of any site. Campers are usually VERY helpful so you are not alone! Plus Wardens do go over and above when needed.

I can see where you are coming from..
What my husband has done to help him deal with his massive anxiety is two fold
He went to see a counsellor..
Chose the first name in a list off Google..
£25 an hour 7 x sessions in all AND bought read and worked through book OVERCOMING ANXIETY
By helen kennerly
Very practical and has without a doubt enabled him to deal with and REDUCE his anxieties..
When he feels getting agitated he phones the counsellor and has 1 x meeting and gets back into perspective.
It was the counsellor AND the book which he thinks saved him...
Good luck...

I’ve always been a big of a worrier but anxiety has been the bane of my existence for many years. The only thing that works for me is medication - Sertraline. Have moved house about nineteen times and lived in several countries - all very stressful. No longer enjoy overseas holidays, too much anxiety. We enjoy short European breaks or city breaks in U.K. Hot countries always avoided as heat contributes to my anxiety!

bit of a worrier!

You have to retrain your brain. I was making myself ill with worry over my adult daughter until I came to the realisation that if/when she came to me for help I would be no good to her if I was a basket case. From then on I started working on myself. When you start to worry, put those thoughts firmly inside a box in your head and padlock it shut. I now have lots of boxes ? it might sound daft but the more you practice the easier it gets.
Repeat this many times a day, "I may not have control over what happens to me in life but I do have control over how I respond to what happens to me". Also this: "If you can't fix the problem in 5 minutes let it go, cos your time is better spent working on something you can achieve".

hollie57. I feel your pain and anxiety.Were on day 5 in our new home, and I feel exactly like you.Everything that could go wrong has and more besides.I feel ill and know we need to eat properly, but even Dh has no apitite. I went out yesterday in the car and found myself driving down the road were we used to live, house before last, got to the bottom of the road before I realised where I was! .Think I need a holiday in a very familiar place.Hope you settle soon, I'm hoping the sun might make a difference, when it decides to shine.

Okimherenow..thankyou for positive suggestion of the self help book and counsellor.

dolly56, if it's any comfort, you are not alone. I see worse case scenarios around every corner, I think that has escalated since the menopause, and from everything I read, worrying does seem a facet of that condition.

I thought I had got better at handling the worry but have realised that an event last has week triggered a few sleepless nights and now I am worrying about everything. I have a Drs appointment which I have waited ages for as I think I need to go back to the Consultant who dealt with my shoulder and have got really worked up in case the GP says I can't, I know this is irrational.

Cognitive behaviour therapy is a effective treatment for what sounds like in your case anxiety. Anxiety can gradually become crippling, perhaps when you’re back at home ask your doctor to refer you for CBT. I’d pay however, the waiting lists a long and you’d probably only need a few sessions.

I have had a bad case of anticipatory anxiety for the last few years.

Anyone else have experience of that?

I think it is a rotten form of anxiety. Am trying everything.
Best wishes. Dawn

Dawn22, me too. I start a course of CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) next month. It is a group course suggested by my GP. I had a phone consultation with a mental health worker to discuss my issues, she suggested this course, I don't think it is just CBT, I think it is more than that, the focus seems to be on dealing and coping with the anxiety - I think this is what I need. I am in Sussex, but there are probably courses elsewhere.
Good luck.