Sons

One of you was saying you would be disappointed if you got a girl and she want your soul mate, that's an interesting point, recently my friend said to me if be best not having a girl because my expectations would be to high and I'd be disappointed. She doesn't get on with her mother as they are so different and recently she had a daughter and worries the same will happen with them. If I had a daughter sure could be the anti christ ?

Also someone said about blue and boys toys been outdated, unfortunately no it is still very much a big thing! I try my best to keep things neutral, I've even bought dolls to have a neutral selection of toys! Whilst they do like dolls sometimes they are adamant about blue, I think I could be the media because I never pushed the colour and I always correct them when they say pink is for girls, yet the notion is stuck in their head, same as every other child I know. And the still gravitate more to boys toys. I think boys toys are the coolest anyway lol

I had a son who is now part of the DIL family. I am a single mother and have very limited access to grandchildren, as I am alone and they can only spend time with the other grandparents because they're are 2 of them and can give the children what they need, apparently I can't. I'm not sure what that is, my son calls me when DIL isn't there so I can see the kids, maybe once a fortnight and then I have to leave when the DIL returns. She makes me feel very unwelcome and I am never included in xmas or birthday or other celebrations although I am allowed to give gifts but must leave shortly afterward. I was there one day at lunch time and meals were put out everyone except me. I had overstayed my welcome. I constantly walk on egg shells and know she says mean things behind my back as her friends are rude to me and I live in anticipation of the day that the children are the same.

I have one son and three stepsons.
Also 5 grandsons and one granddaughter.
So I'm pretty much male surrounded.

Love two dils like my own, another lives n another continent so closeness isn't easiest to nurture about we get on ok. The 4th dil is no longer around.

All 4 sons keep well in touch including those who live abroad....Even if one could be a little more proactive...needs a nudge now and again.
Those who are local we see at least twice a week.
We do one day childcare for each of 3 dgc.
anyone who is a available comes for Sunday dinner....with no pressure if they don't fancy doing so.

They are all different, the dils are all different.

We do our best to make everyone welcome and hope for the best.

I have one of each and I can honestly say that they’re equally great. I also have the best DDiL in the world, as someone else said, like a second daughter. But they are totally different, totally unique. I’m sure you’ll raise lovely sons Squeeky. ?

I have 2 sons. I love them, they love me. I also love my DILs and think they are wonderful parents to our DGC. Not all bad ?

Take no notice. Every family and every child is different.

Don't worry about what's going to happen years from now. I know you have to consider the future but try to enjoy "now" with your young sons.

I have 2 daughters and 1 son. One daughter calls daily the other daughter and my son don’t call very often but when we get together it is always a wonderful and occasion and I feel very close to them.
It’s not the gender but the personalities of parents and children that determines your relationship with each other as well as the relevant partners.

Squeeky….honestly, like most things its down to the individuals involved. I had a daughter first, then two sons.... all within 2 years and 9 months. I gave up nursing for 6 years and stayed home till the youngest started school. My parents were quite strict, whereas my husband and I had few rules, and any rules had to have a good reason for being there. I loved being a mum, adored the kids, and loved watching them grow. We always had good relationships. I encouraged all of them to live their lives to the full, travel, see the world, don't be in a hurry to marry or settle down. My daughter has lived abroad for 15 years, but comes back for summers and Christmas and we visit her regularly too. My youngest lived abroad till he married then when they were expecting they moved back and live five minutes away from us and the inlaws. We have two grandsons from them and see them at least a couple of times a week. My eldest son is married and lives in Scotland and we see him maybe three times a year and Christmases or New Year are spent with us. This summer we are all spending a week in a villa in Spain. We have good solid relationships with all three of our kids and 'Im sure you will have the same with your boys.

Mahy - that's so sad and hurtful. You have to leave when DIL arrives. You were totally left out one lunchtime!!. That's downright mean and nasty. Dils do tend to gravitate towards their mother and family. I suppose thats to be accepted. But they should respect their m.i.l andlove them too. I am also single, so i am not often asked to babysit. Just don't dwell on it too much. Enjoy your life ! x

I agree with those who say that the sex of your child is irrelevant. They are all different personalities. I have 3 DSs each unique, but all caring in different ways. I get on well with their partners (and ex partners) but try to let them all live their own lives. However I know that every one of them and their partners are there for me if I need them (and vice versa). Nearly all of my birthday and Christmas gifts involve time out with an individual DS for a theatre trip, film, meal etc with some special occasions organised where the whole family including DGC are involved. So you see some DSs do hang out with their mums. Enjoy your boys. Make memories and they will make them for you in the future.

My Son isn’t really close to any of us, he has a lovely wife and her family are most definitely more of a feature in their lives than we are. My SiL however is a real Mummy’s Boy. Nice to see most of the time but it drives my daughter to despair sometimes when he won’t even have a S#%T without checking with his mum first. (It isn’t really that bad, my DD does exaggerate sometimes, just for effect???)

My husband is the youngest of 4 boys. He is especially close to his mother and is very like her in looks and temperament. She says she never wanted girls and is very happy to have had 4 boys. My husband sees her several times a week and she lives near us. Her other sons do see her, but they are not as close to her as her 'baby'!

That sounds wonderful, your husband sounds lovely, they say you can tell what a man is like by how he treats his mother, so u are lucky ?

That is a well known saying isn't it Squeeky so our ES's awful wife better look out.

I have one of each, but DS is the only one to have married and have children. He lives 200 miles away and one way or another we are in contact most days. We are currently all in France on holiday together.

Ignore the moaning minnies, they are ignorant fools.

I never had daughters just two sons to whom I'm very close so can't say I've ever missed having daughters. I haven't missed out at all, far from it and wouldn't change it for the world.

I have 2 boys and a girl and although I am very close to my daughter, especially since she had her first baby, I am also close to my boys who are 29 and 35. I was out for a meal with my eldest only 2 days ago and we try to eat out once a month or at my house or his sisters. My youngest son lives in London now but lived with me on and off until he was 27. Although I don t hear from him as often as I d like he always heads for home when he has time off and is coming back in a couple of weeks with his girlfriend. He always heads home for Christmas, the only exception being when he was in Australia. All three are very different but all head home and I love that they are comfortable making themselves at home with me when they return. However they all have their own lives to lead and I m just happy that they continue to do that and yet know I am here if they need me. I ve always got on with girlfriends and welcome them into the family with open arms. If my boys love them then that’s good enough for me. Just enjoy and love the time with your boys and they will know that they will always be welcome at home and they will visit xx

We have friends (two couples) who have three sons and four sons, respectively. (No daughters). Both couples remain very close to all their sons. Same for us and our DS (only child). And we all get on well with all the DiLs, too. So there is hope!

Lol suppose there it's exceptions to every rule but personally there does seem to be something to it! No respect for your mother isn't a good sign x

All these lovely mother son relationships have really made me feel good x

I have two sons (no daughters), and now I have two lovely daughters-in-law too. What's not to like? I certainly don't regret not having a daughter!