If your health is okay and you would enjoy having your grandchild every day then I say go ahead. I have helped my DD with all three grandkiddies and the eldest is now in college, next is at senior school and youngest I still take to school/collect each day (but she also goes up to senior school next year). Time goes so quickly with the grandkiddies growing up far too fast, enjoy this extra bit of time (providing your DDL agrees, of course)
Gransnet forums
Ask a gran
What shall I do?
(110 Posts)My DIL has been in her new job for a week; asking her today how it was going she admitted that she found the morning commute difficult, and has been late for work three times this week because of traffic, which is not good. Now, I know she should probably have thought about this beforehand, but she really wanted to escape her previous job in which she was unhappy.
I am thinking of asking her whether she would like to drop younger DGD off with me at about 7.30 each morning to give her an extra half hour to get to work. I could then take DGD to school.
As far as I can see, pros are:
DDIL would not be so stressed in the mornings;
It would make me get up earlier and I would get more things done and get some exercise from the walk to and from school;
I would be spending good time with DGD and she wouldn't have to go to breakfast club.
Cons are:
I would not be able to slob around in my dressing gown for half the morning if I felt like it.
I would not do Mondays as I have an early yoga class, but every other day is fine.
Shall I offer?
No question! I’d give anything to live near enough my Gc to do this
do it, time with grandkids is so precious, and soon shes be going to school on her own, so make the most of the time with her you have
How about offering to try one or two days a week as a way of guaging how it feels. That’s already helpful. If that feels ok,after a while you may want to offer more. I think there is a lot of pressure both internally as well as outside to fill in the gaps, be the hands on etc. But I personally feel we have all alrready done our bit as parents,working etc and retirement is about having time for your own leisure, travel, relaxation etc and a balance needs to be found between self care and being of help to our families. And that is different for everyone. Best not to offer too much to then have to take it back. Better to progress slowly and then not disappoint later on. Being with our grandchildren is so special for both them and us. Good luck
It will do you the world of good. I do the same for my granddaughters it gives your day a structure I love it
Personally, it’s early days and I would give it a little time, to see if she can come up with a way forward first. This is a long term commitment and may involve more as time goes on.
I would do it. It’s win win and if you need a day off your DIL is still better off for having had your help other days !
How about a compromise...offer to do Wednesday, Thursday Friday. That is a big help to Mum.
Give it a trial of say 6 months. Dark winter mornings won't help with the getting up and dressed early bit but spring & summer will be a doddle. You have a great attitude. Don't do mondays its important to keep up your interests. Your Dil can negotiate this with her employer (who have to be reasonable under law) if she's late she must pay back the time or risk losing her job. It could be a great way of really getting to know your GD on a whole new level. Im 70 very soon but I still remember with great affection the times he kept an eye on me for mum. As for having to get dressed discover the forgiving qualities of 'loungewear' (tracky bottoms). It'll keep you young.
"He" I meant to say my grandad
I used to take my two grandchildren to school and pick them up two days a week. Both their parents work full time and had a considerable distance to travel. Whilst I admit it wasn’t always easy getting up at 7 am I used to love seeing their bright little faces at the door. I would give them their breakfast and hear all their latest news. I would then pick them up from school and give them their tea before they were picked up about 6pm.
Fast forward 10 years and they are both in senior school. I still see them but they are, quite rightly, involved in their own lives now. I know both their parents really appreciated the help we and the other grandparents gave them. Even though there was the odd cold dark wet morning to face I am so glad I was able to help them. I had always worked full time but when my son was little we had no offer of help from anyone so my husband worked permanent night shift for years and we had separate holiday time off so there was always someone with him. There was definitely no breakfast club or after school club in those days. I wouldn’t have changed looking after them for the world. If we were on holiday etc my son/ daughter in law would always make alternative arrangements.
Do it on a flexible two days a week for a trial period. It might be best not to commit straight away.
Yes! How lucky you are to be able to spend extra time with your granddaughter. I wish I could ! Mine are a four hour drive away !
That is exactly what I do now. I’ve never been one to lay-in, in the mornings, we are both out of bed at 6am shower washed and dressed breakfast, My husband goes off to his part time morning caretaker job. I drive to daughters house, she goes to work nice and early I help get the GC their breakfast / dressed then take them to school. At 4.30pm we collect GC from school bring them back to ours give them their tea. 5. 30 sil, collects GC from us. Works well and gives us valuable time with the children, I love it.
of course you should offer - it's a win-win situation
Sounds like a lovely, kind idea.
It’s a lovely offer, and chances are you’ll really enjoy it. Just make sure you have a system in place to cover if you’re unwell, or simply too tired. I have looked after GC while mum went to work. I think it was the responsibility that wore me down, you know, the emotional side, not the work itself. We are getting older after all, and we don’t have the same energy levels, particularly when battling with symptoms of menopause at the same time. My problem at the time of caring for my GC, was insomnia! The last thing you need. So just be wary of that. Don’t worry it’s open ended and could go on for ever, it might not, and if you can’t cope, just stop. GC are the parents responsibility after all.
The best relationship I ever had with my GD was to and fro to school early mornings. Go for it, wonderful idea. And you don’t have to put a fancy face or glam rags on for the school run, just ordinary working clothes, and then have your shower when you get back, before a lovely proper breakfast
Both my daughter and son in law leave for work at 7.30..... if I didn’t do this for them three times a week ...my grandkids would be in morning/ afternoon club which also would cost them a fortune. The other two mornings /afternoons they go to friends parents. They can’t drop off as I live in different area of town and they’re school is three miles from me. I don’t drive and either walk or cycle three miles then home....sort out my disabled husband....get lunch ...shove a wash load in...cycle back to get them from school , and cook them dinner , as parents don’t get in til 5.30 ish!!! Then about 6 I cycle home and get our dinner!! I fall into bed at about 9...It will certainly keep you fit!! It does me!! Do it...and stop skinning around in the dressing gown.! You’ll make a difference and that’s what it’s all about .
You do right to think twice.
I am 65 and have done something like this.
I have taken my Grandchild to school across the city, love him and my daughter but it is difficult and tiring. It affects your day immensely.
Personally, she needs to plan better, it’s time for her to step up and make it work.
Offer to help occasionally of course, there will be many other ways you can support them - But hold onto your life.
First ask the parents whether it really would help, logistics may not be any better, and then offer!!! I am 74 too; it’s still young and it will keep you in shape and in contact with the very young. I did it for my now teenage granddaughters, the best memories EVER
for both, them and us. Admittedly Grandad helped too and took these amazing videos we are still laughing at now!!
Why not? Youve already thought it over,i dont see really why youre asking what we think..
Would you be taking DGD to breakfast club or to school?
Theres obviously going to be a time difference and maybe dil would decide that you taking her to school (saving money) would be better - but is that better for you?
And what about after school?
Its something to think over carefully - deciding what you are prepared to offer and sticking to your guns. A trial sounds like a good idea.
I used to do this. Taking and picking up from school, and it was good for me. The exercise, the meeting up with other Mums and Grans. Nice to feel part of the system I thought, although it’s better in Summer!! ?
The relevant questions I would be considering are:
Where is school in relation to your house/their house ie the logistics?
Would it be better for you to go to their house?
Do you want to be committed four mornings a week in term-time for the next two years; however you say they will be fairly flexible
Can your DIL change her hours?
Some assume that her hours should be flexible, but if she is, for example, a teacher in a different school and has a distance to travel, her hours will not be flexible
Will you be expected to pick up from school too?
They grow up so quickly and your DGD will be taking herself off to senior school before you know it.
I rarely get called on for fefching because other Granny is nearer but she and I often attend school functions in the day together as DIL and DS are not able to. We enjoy being involved in their lives and the school community, which all comes to an end when they go off to senior school.
Join the conversation
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »

