Funny things grandchildren say

My grandsons are currently staying here from abroad and Mum & Dad left us in charge for a couple of days while they went away. As I'd not had chance to dry my hair the first morning I was still wearing a towel on it till after lunch. Next day my eldest gs (6) said Nana - I hope you're not going to spend all day in your turban again today

We had our GS 11 years and GD 6 to stay overnight the other day.

GD said to her brother, "You didn't clean your teeth this morning". "Yes I did" he replied. She then went to his holdall and checked his toothbrush to find it was damp. "It's alright he did do them".

It comes to something when a 6 year old checks up on her big brother. We laughed.

I have one false tooth, granddaughter who is 3 tomorrow, 1st January, told me 'nanny you've lost your teeth go and find your teeth quick quick and I'll stay with grandad.'

My grandson when he was 3 and doing ‘the wall-walk’ after I had picked him up from nursery one day, said to me “ will you always be there to hold my hand when I walk on walls Nanny?’ .....I smiled and said “yes” ...to which he replied “ even when I’m 16’. I assured him that I would willingly hold his hand when he was 16 if he wanted me to. He seemed happy about that. He no longer walks on walls as he’s now 12...but occasionally he will take my hand when walking beside me even though he’s an inch taller! Maybe not funny but very anecdote!

On one new years eve there happened to be a showing of the film The Vikings.My eldest,five years old at the time ,said to my father 'Grandad were you a Viking?. We thought it hilarious but could never understand where any likeness, my father never having a beard and a very gentle natured person ,came into it.

My youngest has a bit of a lisp and slight speech impediment. When she was about two she couldn’t say socks - it came out as fucks. Cue my horror in a crowded clothes shop one day when of course at full volume she shouted “fucks mommy, lots of fucks” ?

NinaRosa I have a dentist appointment next week. I am sure I will be chuckling if the dentist asks me the same!

When my daughter was about 6 she was cast in the role of Mary in the Nativity at school. The room was packed with parents, all went well but unfortunately she dropped baby Jesus. I gasped with horror, but she calmly stood up and said to all assembled "don't worry everyone its only a doll not a real baby"! Then she said to one of the shepherds, carry on its ok. I was traumatised for years after that little episode.

My 18yr old autistic daughter said to me the other day "mum you have got tinsel in your hair" !!!
She was talking about the grey

Mine had a meltdown once when shopping, sat down on the floor and shouted "I am NOT going into Marks and Spensives" again - of course it has been called that ever since!

Another time we were in JL and a very dark skinned lady at the till was wearing a very lurid green eye shadow, DD shouts (and she still does! Has no library voice!) "Mummy, why has that lady got her face painted?"

The young son of a friend of mine was taken to his first football match by his Dad, and of course heard some colourful language for the duration of the match. Roll on a few months and fortunately he hadn't repeated any of it until one day whilst in the local cafe he asked to go to the loo - so his Mum said fine you go (you could see the door etc from the table), you'll be fine, don't forget to wash your hands etc .... so off he trotted, only to open the door shortly afterwards shouting "Mummy, there's no fucking toilet paper!" Ground swallows Mummy up!

From when my daughter was tiny, she used to come and perch on the loo to chat whilst I was having a bath. When she was about three she was in the bathroom with me as usual chatting when I saw her gaze sharpen and I wondered what she was looking at, having seen it all before. I suddenly thought that for the first time she had noticed the difference between my body and hers, so I said “you know, when you grow up and become a young lady, you’ll look like this too”. To which she replied “oh good, I’ve always wanted to wear earrings” !!!

Christmas Eve whilst we walked to the Christingle at our Grandsons' church our eldest was busy chatting away to me. Grandma you do know that there is no such thing as the Tooth Fairy. Well I said I think Santa would have something to say about that! No, Grandma he just keeps it up for children like my little brother who believe in her. So sweet at 10 & 1/2 to still firmly believe in Santa!! I think!! Made me chuckle.

My autistic grandson has just started talking which is a relief. He has spent the day saying, “Good Job,” every time I do something for him. His manners are lovely, he says, “Tatty you” for thank you each time you give him something or even change his nappy.

Hahaha all so funny!

Another one of mine was... in our local woods where we walk the dog often, someone had put up a half jar of honey with a
note saying “this is for the fairies”. The next time the jar had been removed with a note saying “Thank you so much , the fairies really enjoyed it”

My granddaughter (then 6) whispered to me “ I don’t think fairies took it at all! Me (thinking she had outgrown the magic). Oh. So who do YOU think took the honey?

Her reply: I think it was the badgers!!! ?.

Had to keep a straight face. No badgers in our part of the country as far as I know lol

Love things kids say - keep them coming x

when I'd roasted a chicken recently for 6year old grandson and his 3year old sister I was asked a) if I'd stuffed a lemon up its bum ) and b) had a rubbed the skin with butter before it went in the oven. When I said I hadn't, he put his hands on his hips and asked if I'd ever watched a Jamie Oliver video on how to cook a chicken!!!! He did have the grace to tell me it was delicious when he ate it.

I just love this thread! Read most of them out loud to my husband, who also thought they were hilarious.

Our 7 month old grandson said his first words last week:”Hello darling!” Well, everyone says it to him all the time, so I’m not surprised he repeated it! He talks all the time, but apart from that one time, nobody can understand a word he says, which must be very frustrating for him, as he knows perfectly well what he’s saying!

P.S. Until that mortifying moment I'd had a rather hot crush on my dentist .

Did they have electricity when you were a girl, Mummy? Why have you got lines on your face, Granny? The most embarrassing years ago was in the butcher's where we saw a one-legged man. Loud cries of "Where's his other leg?" from my daughter.

When my dad was small and she was switching channels my ds piped up and said don’t do that mummy wants to watch Olivia lukewarm John, another time we were getting ready to go to seaside my daughter said Are we going to Yarmouth or Walking on the knees instead of Walton on the naze

DD

When my step grandson was small he got a toy castle for Christmas. He told us it had lots of soldiers, but one was really special as he was ‘ a shite in knighting armour’! We howled with laughter!

I looked after my nearly 4 year old grandson and one year old grandson today. They were very well behaved until the last half an hour when the older boy became too rough, kicking out and nearly kicked his brothers face and caught me a hard kick in the stomach. I told him he needed to be more careful with people and to stop being so rough. When his mum came home he told his mum, 'I was a bit good but then I was not nice to nanny and my brother and I need to think about it'....cute as you like!

I don't have grandchildren yet but l am a private music teacher with pupils of all ages. At the last lesson before Christmas my custom is to give each pupil a card with two chocolates. A seven year old pupil told me that a friend of his was allergic to chocolate. He obviously thought that this was a poor deal. His five year old brother (who was, of course, also gives sweets despite not being a pupil) was not to be outdone. He told me his friend was allergic to kissing!

Thank you Gransnetters for giving me big smiles today. NYE is a sad day for me but I've had the wonderful company of (autistic) DGS for 8 hours, bracketed by his dad bringing me flowers this morning and his mum bringing prosecco this afternoon. DGS brought cheer to our local shopping bus and its Jamaican driver this afternoon by singing along to a reggae hit on the radio and by wishing everyone who caught his eye a Happy New Year. I shall spend tomorrow with them and then be ready to face another year of ups and downs. I consider myself so lucky I managed to relocate near them soon after the little one was born and to be a part of their lives. Please forgive me if I sound maudlin but tonight is a time of looking back as well as forward and I'm excited about what the future can bring.

Just before he went home DGS asked if he could have a couple of items I have on my wall that belonged to my mother. I told him he could have them after I was dead. He wanted to know what day that will be ...

Happy New Year to you all

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year. Personally I could really do with a better one than 2019.

The sayings of my youngest grandson in particular keep me chuckling. He remarked to his Mummy that, ‘It’s really difficult when you have two girlfriends and they don’t get on with each other. A should be more understanding because she’s got B for her second boyfriend and B and I get along. B has a second girlfriend and she’s in Year 2!’. Bless him, he’s 5 and three quarters. I expect he will sort it out before long.