No kissing my baby

Ive never heard of saliva causing tooth decay? And its not something our British dentists have ever said either- what they do mention is that too much fizzy drinks(soda in US) or sweets,chocolate (candy) or sugary foods then little or no teeth cleaning causes tooth decay!

The saliva thing is why your bottom front teeth are prone to plaque isn't it? As the saliva pools there

I used to get cold sores. When my daughter first got one and the doctor told me that I'd probably passed the virus on to her I felt so guilty. If I'd known beforehand I would have been much more careful. As a teenager she had some really big, disfiguring ones which affested her self esteem and I blamed myself.
So I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I totally agree with you and admire you for your honesty. My ex husband suffered from cold sores and a few members of his family , I never did I’m glad to say.
I don’t think anyone should kiss a baby on the face especially if they carry the cold sore virus. I have always only ever kissed children on the top of the head even my own children.
Babies and children are too precious to take chances with. Sorry if any one thinks I’m ‘over the top’ ?

Hi naty

I'm a mom to two girls and a son due in 10/12 weeks. I know exactly how you feel. You've done your research and it's correct about hsv1/2 and dental issues caused by strep bacteria in saliva. I think you've had a few harsh replies
I agree with how you've handled things and it's delicate nature regarding the in-laws who sound suffocating and controlling.

I thought is try and cheer you up with a few old wives tales I've had over the years.

No hair washing on Sunday.
No hair washing if your on your period.
No going out with wet hair because you'll catch flu.
Tomato seeds give you appendicitis.
If you go out without a vest on (regardless of the time of year) you'll catch diarrhoea
You should never go swimming on your period.
No hanging your smalls on the washing line- it encourages men, and means you are a tart.
Walking outside barefoot will give you diarrhoea.
Babies should go outside to sleep during the day.
Too much reading will make you cross-eyed.
No bare feet or just sock on feet inside- you'll catch flu.
If you swallow chewing gum it will get stuck in your appendix which will then burst.

I'm sure there's many more ridiculous none medical none scientific tales. Hope they made you giggle as much as they did when I heard them. There's no reasoning or fact behind them when I questioned!

Good luck with the in-laws, they need to respect your time, wishes and limits. X

I don't like people kissing babies. I always kissed the back of their hand if I kissed anywhere
But Naty, you do sound very stressed and anxious about everything. I think you need to do something about that.

Your baby your rules! Your in laws should respect that.

Callistemon Sat 11-Jan-20 23:27:30

You are not being obsessive but very careful.
Babies have died from catching this virus
If you google it you can put the stories up on the family whats app
If they think kissing your baby is more important than keeping him/her safe them shame on them. Stand your ground

I'm with you Naty. It's not just the question of not kissing baby on the mouth. As you've said babies grab at people's faces, then put their hands in their mouth. They also rub their own faces and heads where someone might gave kissed them.
Herpes , once caught is there for life and who would want that, either for themselves or their children.
If people think you're being hysterical hard luck, stick to your guns.
I'm 76 so not a snowflake mummy but an old hand. Eldest of eight, brought up in the muck if a farmyard. Mother of three, grandmother of three, now adult GCs and at no time would I have allowed kisses from anyone known to carry the virus and neither did my mother. Of course there may have been people that we didn't know might have it but they weren't close enough to be kissing our babies anyway.
You can only do your best.
In passing I think your MIL is taking the P by calling in so often.
Doesn't the woman respect any privacy at all?
Perhaps in the future you might find a lovely new home a few miles away ?

There are so many heartbreaking stories online about young babies being severely ill and in some cases dying because they have caught the herpes virus from someone with a cold sore. It doesn't have to be a direct kiss on the lips either. Touch your cold sore with your hands and the virus is on your fingers too. That is sometimes enough to pass on the virus to another person. To the posters commenting about the childs school days how they will cope then! They will cope better, as their immune system will be far more developed. The key here is the age of the baby. You can never be too careful so Naty I think you are taking very sensible precautions.

You seem stressed and paranoid

You seem stressed and paranoid

Her inlaws do not listen to her about a health issue that could at best give her child a life long issue, and at worse make them very ill or die.

I can’t imagine why that would upset someone. Can you?

Why don’t you try some advice instead of just being unkind?

Naty, this is your child, I think kisses on the head are ok when no symptoms, but those are my boundaries, not yours. We all have different thresholds.

You need to be comfortable. Just keep kindly reminding them. It’s all you can do if you are still going to be seeing them daily.

Cold sores are dangerous for little babies but making up stories and scare tactics to add weight? Bit much. I think you are going to end up starting a bit of a war. Just set boundaries and enforce them with kindness, you shouldn't need to justify yourself x

My two cents.....

It's babies and small children who are the active 'incubators' when it comes to germs I have gotten the nastiest colds and stomach bugs just from being around the toddlers in my family, including my own grandchildren. So, please.....stop kissing these children on the lips and leave that to the lovers.

All the same, there are plenty of germs to be passed around by everyone. Best advice is for people to wash their hands more often and lighten up.

Also, people with cold sores are not contagious unless they're having a flare up. An active cold sore would need to come in contact with an open wound or a mucous membrane to be passed along and even that doesn't necessarily happen all the time.

I can fully appreciate your concerns and would never belittle any mother who worries about her child. However, to me, you sound extremely stressed out, either by your in-laws or maybe PND. No idea, but whatever is causing it, it needs sorting. Your health also should be top of the list, as well as your baby’s.

I Def agree no kissing baby and generally no kissing babies and children on the mouth ever.

I’m a cold sore sufferer. My Son and Wife made it clear if I have a cold sore I’m not allowed to touch my GS, infact better now to see him. As I get them regularly and have done since I was 5 years old, I visited my GP and asked if there was something he could do. He immediately put me on medication twice a day forever, I’ve not had a cold sore since in two years. It’s not only a relief to me as a sufferer but also I don’t need to worry about when I see him, I don’t see him often, so it means I don’t need to worry. I can get up to 10 cold sores appear at once. Neither of my children have suffered with them. See your GP.

Your baby. Your rules. Good for you! ?

Naty, according to the WHO, "HSV-1 can be transmitted from oral or skin surfaces that appear normal and when there are no symptoms present. However, the greatest risk of transmission is when there are active sores."
It sounds as if your inlaws don't understand how contagious the virus is and do not maintain the scrupulous hygiene that you need to when suffering an outbreak of herpes, and may
not wash hands after touching their sore. You are very wise to do your best to avoid your baby being infected, cold sores are horrible and always come at the wrong time.
And as your baby is coming up 6 months you need to ensure that they don't give good on a previously licked spoon
I can't believe how many people seem to be denying the role of Streptococcus mutans and in the development of dental caries, it's the precursor to decay. While most people will become infected at some point in their lives if a baby gets infected early in life, the little teeth erupt into a mouth full of it, and we all know how hard it is to clean a baby's teeth, the later infected, the better. Well better that there is no infection but most of us seem to get it, there is so far no vaccine. Common ways for a baby to get infected include being given a bottle or dummy or food chewed by an adult, and I have seen all of those things happen, it's quite disgusting really. You are so sensitive to do your best to protect your baby from things that will have lifelong consequences

And as I wrote earlier. Serious and lifelong brain damage.

Do NOT let anyone kiss your baby. I have suffered cold sores all my life and sometimes the pain has been excrutiating. I also felt very self-conscious when I was younger. I would not wish it on anybody. It is YOUR baby. You are not over-reacting - you are being extremely sensible.

Very wise Naty I have always had cold sore and I think passed them to DH . I have always been ultra careful with my children and grandchildren. Luckily none of them has ever had a cold sore. So no kissing babies !!

Just wondered if anyone watched the new year healthy program which demonstrated how 70 percent real chocolate improves the protection in saliva of the teeth? Interesting watch.

I don't understand the social customs of kissing babies, whether you are family or not (except the parents and siblings, of course)

The same goes for touching them
I had to stop so many people from touching my kids' hair or face. Just say-"they are so cute!"
Teaching kids body autonomy is so important

You can show your love for someone in many other different ways.