My granddaughter said she hates me

agree with outside dave.
by paying for the children's food you are infantilising their father. you are letting him continue wasting his money on illegal drugs. that money should be used for the children's food. if he refuses to parent properly he should not have custody of the children. it is not good enough that the children like being with him; that is a necessary but not sufficient condition for child welfare and custody. they would probably like being with someone who fed them sweets all day....
also you say your partner goes shopping, but has emphysema and is disabled enough to need a mobility scooter. is that not very risky. surely a person with emphysema ought to be shielding, away from shops and other people.
i really don't know what to make of your posts.
i am not convinced they are entirely genuine.

Sorry, this may sound harsh, but you have created a "monster"!

I can understand helping with childcare and ensuring the grandchildren have enough to eat, shoes on their feet and clothes on their backs; but buying them everything they want, toys every week and a mobile phone for a 5 year old astounds me.

If your son and the children's mother are spending all their money on weed, I would have contacted Children's services long ago, family or not! These children are his responsibility, all you are doing is effectively feeding his habit by allowing the present situation to continue. There's no doubt about it, he is neglecting his children!

This must be a joke. Stop buying the kids everything. Stop all of that rubbish. Are you trying to buy their love? Cut them off. You can be a regular granny...make them meals and cuddles. I'd get that phone back and crack it on the cement. The gravy train ends.

I am sorry things are going so badly right now. I do question blocking the children. They are very young and probably change feelings quickly. If you have chosen to provide all the "goodies" for them, they may have come to view you more like Father Christmas than Nana. Your depression may be a stumbling block too. Maybe a single visit with a therapist could help sort things out in making the right decisions for you and the GC.

Nanaof2

Thanks for all your replies, and unfortunately it's not a wind up, just to clarify my son and his gf don't smoke weed for the 3 days a week they have my granddaughters, their mum can't cope all the time hence shared care, I give the kids so much because I don't want them missing out on anything. The mobile phone was her mum's doing originally not mine and I was surprised about Snapchat also but her bigger sister who is 8 has it so nothing I can do about it. I had my 5 yr old gd staying with me every weekend for the first 3 years of her life, and she was my 1st grandchild so there's always something special for your 1st, I come from a very big family and there wasn't alot of spare money for luxuries all year round, and I think this is why I give so much.

“Their mum cant cope”....you mean how dare she expect your son to pull his weight?

I can’t believe you are having a tantrum over what a child said to you.

....normally my advance would be to stop spoiling them and actually parent when you have them, but by blocking a child after first spoiling the child in all senses of the word, I struggle to know if you are the adult.

Those poor kids, every adult around them is failing them.

You failed your son and now you repeat the same mistakes with those poor children.

I cannot believe you are worried she said she hates you, as if this is about you.

These kids dont have a chance unless somebody steps up and behave like real grounded adults.

Sorry but this is a weird kind of wind up. No one ever would give a 5 yo a mobile! Can't read bit can use snapchat! She is 5 and keeping up with her big sister who is 3?????????

ElaineI

Sorry but this is a weird kind of wind up. No one ever would give a 5 yo a mobile! Can't read bit can use snapchat! She is 5 and keeping up with her big sister who is 3?????????

Her big sister is 8

oh well, that explains it .

A 5 year old can't be expected to understand the consequences of her words. All kids shout I hate you at their parents at one time or other usually when denied something they want. Surely unconditional love is what these children need. I would have a chat with her next time you see them and explain that Nanny was very upset when she got that message and wouldn't like to receive any more messages like that. She must have witnessed something similar either by her parents or sister.

'I called social services in, and they sorted everything out and arranged shared care, and they said that they couldn't do anything about weed because it isn't an offence to smoke it...'
Cannabis is illegal in the UK. I would be very concerned about someone from Social Services who says it isn't.