I live in a small street where one side are rather expensive houses and my side which are flats. We have lived here and raised our children for over 22 years. Two or three of our neighbours are very friendly whilst the others completely ignore us. Their children were privately educated while our were not. The point of my post is that twice we were approached by 2 neighbours asking if we wanted to buy their old cars. One whose father had recently died! When we refused they said ‘ It wasn’t a very good car anyway!’ I was furious! It was obviously good enough for us! They also tried to sell us an old bike when they were clearing out their shed. My DH is a mountain biker, owns 3 expensive bikes and tried to say no. They said ‘just take it as we want rid of it’ They insisted and we eventually said we’d give it to a friend. A few months later our neighbour came over and asked why we hadn’t paid him for the bike! Another neighbour recently trained in the same profession as myself and I met her at an event. I tried to speak to her but she blanked me. Why do people who think they have more money than others behave like we are trash. My DH has a doctorate but it’s not known in our street. Both my children and I have degrees and have good careers. Would that change their opinion? Or is it all about the money?
Born equal, as in no better than each other. Circumstances you are born into should not make any difference to how you value others.
Sheba I don’t think anyone is born equal, there isn’t really
Equality in life. I do know what you mean, but it’s not only being born to parents with wealth/poverty, it’s intelligence
And physical health too amongst other things.Then there are
Other factors, when an adult, selfish/ cruel/ violent people are not equal (in my book) with pleasant/caring/ sympathetic ones.
There is no real equality, other than to say we are all human beings.
My answer would have been -- with a friendly smile and a confused/puzzled look on my face, "No, why would you think I would want to?"And be sure to wait for an answer.
Same response for offer of used items unless it was something I could use.
It takes all sorts to make the world. Your decision on how to handle them. I'd just smile and move on.
Sad that there are still raging money snobs out there in 21st century!
I was brought up to believe that being from “a good class” was not defined by money or possessions, but rather by good manners and by treating everyone decently and with respect and dignity.
I would ignore them! you know your true worth and skills, qualifications and talents.
Other people’s opinions simply don’t matter
You have horrible neighbours , I would blank them.
Where do these peolpe come from! who do they think they are, such snobs,They have obviously come from nothing, not used to their new status, and now presuming they are better than others because they live in an expensive house.
Ignore them, they arent worth the bother of getting upset.
The way aristocracy and people who just recently made a bit of money differ is in the way they treat those less well off . I notice those who wave their money around also ironically are often jealous!
Seefah I think that is exactly what my grandmother meant with her, “They are not used to anything.” when she came across people like that.
If they offer you anything again redirect them to the local recycle unit and say I am sure someone in the recycle community would be very grateful.
When I divorced I bought an ex council house outright with my share of the settlement. It was in a good area.
My son was who had received his doctorate at the local university stayed on in the department and was doing some research while seeking employment. One day he got the bus out to the suburbs to visit me. Another post grad from the same department was on the bus and they both got off at the same bus stop. After walking along the road together my son said goodbye and went to cross the road into our estate.
The other post grad said to him..... Is that where you live....how did you manage to get a Phd. ??
Didn't bother my son but I was very cross.
We live in a similar neighbourhood and our neighbours are completely Awesome. We all get along, no matter who has what qualification and lives in which property. There is a bit of "does anyone want this?" but it works both 'sides' of the road. When it snows, every house is white and we all meet up in the middle with our snow shovels! :-)
LindyR, people like those snobby neighbours make my blood boil. My mum would have called them 'all fur coat and no knickers' . If they mention paying for the bike again, just say 'you're lucky WE didn't charge YOU for getting rid of your rubbish. You dont need people like that bringing aggravation into your life, sounds like they'd sell granny for sixpence. Just smile and wave and move on - rapidly. Think 'tossers' to yourselves. Hopefully, they'll move on and you get some decent neighbours in.
Unfortunately there are still plenty of people who judge others by the value of their house and of the car parked on the drive. Some thoughtless people with money do seem to think it is ok to offer their discarded items to other people without realising how this comes across in terms of the potential to cause offence. About 40 years ago when I was setting up home from scratch with absolutely nothing, I was offered a truly horrible suite of furniture by some elderly neighbours, which I accepted because I didn't want to appear ungrateful. I though they were giving it away but as soon as I said I would take it, they asked me for £70. I was so upset as £70.00 was a fair amount towards something I would have like much better, but I was too young and naive to say no and to apologize for the misunderstanding.
Nowadays it's far easy to buy and sell
decent secondhand stuff on sites like Gumtree or eBay or Facebook market place without causing offence. That £70.00 and the horrible sofa and armchairs still rankles with me a bit even today even though they were soon replaced.
Real snobs, you are worth more than all of them put together. Just because they might have more money than you doesn't give them the right to treat you like this. I would give them a wide berth. Tell them to stick their tat where the sun doesn't shine and get on with your own lovely life.
Money talks - wealth whispers!
i felt uneasy OP when you mentioned your/husbands degrees.
sounds a bit like intellectual snobbery.
the implication is that it puts you up a notch or two, above the neighbours or people without degrees.
This wouldn’t bother me at all, if that’s all you have to worry about your lucky . All you had to say was no thanks
A shame. Life is too short for this kind of snobbery. You keep trying to make a point about your education. This could come over as a different kind of one upmanship. Stop trying to prove you are better than "them. You can be better than that. Just be yourself.
Thank you for all your lovely posts. We did sadly, pay for the bike as we were so taken aback we thought that it looked like we were trying to wriggle out of paying. Afterwards we thought ‘What just happened?’ Phloembundle you were quite savage but correct! It’s about how we feel about ourselves and Although my DH feels less sensitive, I must try to rise above this and let it go. I will try!!!
I was asked to babysit two children after school. I was teaching at the children's school so it was no trouble to take them home for half an hour. I was happy to help out. No money was involved. The mother was a snob and not popular and I was pleased for her that she had found a job. The agreed half an hour quickly lengthened in time and she began arriving later and later. No apology or explanation. No thanks or little box of chocs. One day she arrived with a bundle of old clothes for my daughter. She insisted that my daughter try on the bobbled cardigans, faded dresses and buttonless coat (this is absolutely true).I thanked her for the gift. She said "They are not a gift. When you have finished using them, I'd like them returned so that I can give them to someone else". Everyone has their moment of truth and that was mine. She needed help, but was unaware of he fact. Perhaps, Lindy R your neighbours are the same. They offend without realising how offensive they are. Good luck.
Jennyluck...We rent our house.
it wouldn't bother me. I'd just say a polite No Thank you. And move on.
I would be happy to be considered for anything going, I’m not broke but it’s better than wasting money. I have offered things to neighbors if I’ve thought it appropriate but that’s because I’ve always preferred to share, don’t always think badly of people.
And please.....Tilly? Don’t suggest a nursing auxiliary is not a nurse. They may not have a degree qualification but I can assure you many, many thousands and more patients have been grateful for the nursing care of a nursing auxiliary.
Dogsmother Although, it seems, nobody abides by it any more, it is actually illegal to call yourself a nurse unless you are a qualified or student nurse.
That is not to belittle the care given by Nursing Auxiliaries. I was a ward sister and could not have managed without my kind, caring and experienced nursing auxiliaries
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