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I’d like some advice about helping my distressed friend.

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aonk Fri 25-Sep-20 17:04:41

I would like to offer help to a close friend. She’s in her early 70s, very active and has always lived alone. She copes very well indeed but has always been able to spend Christmas with relatives. She has phoned me in tears because it looks like she could be alone this year. If the rule of 6 is still in force she won’t be able to visit the relatives. There are already 6 people in their household. I can’t invite her to my house for the same reason. We will spend the 2 days with one or other of our AC and will be 6 in total. Of course I will invite her or visit her at other times during the holiday period. I’d like to have some suggestions for her when we next meet up. She could afford a few days in a hotel if that would be possible. I don’t think she would be comfortable doing voluntary work during the festive season. Does anyone have any thoughts on how I could best help her? She’s very depressed about this.

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PurpleStar Tue 29-Sep-20 08:28:33

I feel very sorry for people who are on their own during this awfulness.I do feel some of the replies here are a bit harsh.Myself personally would be fine on my own at Christmas,but I know for some this is unbearable.My Mother being one of those who would struggle and is already worried about the loneliness.Myself and a sister both live overseas from the UK and travelling is such a risk for my Mother and vice versa.Sometimes there is more to the person's background,bereavement,estrangement,depression,add in this Virus and the uncertainty and isolation it has brought makes it too much for some.I have always seen the Christmas period as the whole week from Christmas day to New years day.Sometimes we have celebrated the main day,dinner and all the trimmings,a day or 2 after,too accommodate family members who work Christmas day.At one point myself and 3 of our children worked on the day so just moved Christmas to a day we were all off together.Sorry I am detracting but the point I'm trying to make is could you have another "christmas day" for your friend,it doesnt have to be as big as the day you would have already had with the family,but a day your friend could look forward too and keep her spirits up.Sadly any one of us could become infected or have been in contact with someone and be in isolation,scuppering the most well thought out plans!The OP sounds like a kind thoughtful person who is thinking about a friend who is in need.For some, loneliness is a much bigger issue than it is for others.

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MrsRochester Tue 29-Sep-20 21:05:07

Yesterday 00:35 GrauntyHelen

I have spent many Christmas days alone some by necessity some by choice and I have thoroughly enjoyed the indulgence of pleasing only me My fave foods TV lots of time to read and rest just bliss Currently married and looking forward to not having to travel to family live to their timetable and be stressed out by it all Covid gives us the reason to spend the day together and please ourselves The key is not to dread the day but to design it to suit you and delight in iT”

This, to a degree. Proviso is our (late and unexpected grin, thoroughly doted on) 17 year old who is stuck here with us, poor sod.
Downside is, no new grandchild who will be spending the holidays with younger and less vulnerable grandparents. Upside, I can already feel the lack of usual mounting Christmas pressure. It’s always been a big deal in our family and somehow I invariably end up hosting everyone, throughout.
Said 17 year old has already requested Chinese take-away on Christmas Eve and doesn’t care what we eat on Christmas Day as long as pigs in blankets are on the plate and it’s in front of the big TV without crackers ?
Secretly, looking forward to it already!

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LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 01-Oct-20 09:56:29

Hello, we just wanted to pop on to this thread and let everyone know that we will be running a virtual Christmas party on Gransnet as we do every year. Everyone is welcome to join in and bring along some virtual mince pies and their tipple of choice. It's not the same as meeting face to face, of course, but for people who are on their own or simply fancy joining in, it's a fun option. Here's a link to last year's shenanigans. smile

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Tweedle24 Thu 01-Oct-20 13:25:05

H1954

skate

I'm afraid I have little patience for people moaning about their Christmas going wrong. Plenty of us are in their 70's and on their own with no direct family and just get on with it. Thousands, millions are far worse off, so enough with the self pity and be grateful for what you have. I will probably be shot down now.

Well said skate! I have already made a comment on this thread but your words are so true.

How true, both of you. I suspect that I shall be alone this year for the first time ever but there will be others who won’t see Christmas at all because of the virus and others who will be mourning. They are the ones to spend sympathy on.

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