Hello. I'm new by the way. ?
I've been doing online shopping for my 83 year old neighbours for over a year now, since first lockdown. This is unpaid and sometimes they give me some chocolate or £1 for a treat, but that's fee and far between now.
Not that I want to expect anything, but the issue is that I am unwell with ME and looking after myself, home and two pets is difficult enough. I have had to open a bank account where I can pay their cheques in online due to where I live (village, no local shops) and they can no longer be bothered to even fill in the date or name on my cheques, I even fill in the amount.
They have told me that they can no longer manage a supermarket shop and would I mind still helping. I said no - what could I say! What annoys me is that I know that they are putting money away for their adult children, one who lives a few miles away, but they won't get help despite admitting to struggling with the housework.
So now I am spending about 15-30 minutes each week doing the online shop for them and now lockdown restrictions are more flexible, it's feeling intense again because the lady tends to show up unannounced once a week and this has started up again.
Last week, I was in the garden, hands covered in dirt and she rang the bell THREE times. I answered and she could see I was busy, and I said I was about to nap (as I do each afternoon). She carried on talking, as has happened a few times and I made the mistake of asking if she wanted to pop her head in to see the garden. She was in like a shot.
I felt stupid after, as I've been here before. I've previously been asleep and she's come round and stayed for 40 odd minutes when I've genuinely felt very ill. Even though I've told her I'm tired, she edges her way in.
It's intense too because when I go out and happen to pass her front door, she calls me. I now inwardly recoil.
I know it seems selfish, a generous heart would do it, but I feel trapped. I'm at home 99% of the time managing my ME and even in the garden, if I make a noise, she calls me. So I've put up privacy screening, which I've seen her and hubby peer through.
They are nice people, but I have lived here the least time and wonder why other neighbours don't get more involved when they've known each other for over 5/15 years! I feel uncomfortable and yes, I am a bit of a home bod who wants no unannounced visitors.
I have thought about locking the front gate so I can sleep without worrying that the door will go, and I go the other way to avoid crossing their path.
Would anyone have any helpful advice please?
I am not very assertive and quite avoidant so confrontation etc would be hard.
Thank you. ?
