Jealous granddaughter

beware the golden child syndrome.

Maybe she’s just bored.
Do they have to even meet that often? The adults might enjoy the family get together but how is it enjoyable for her.

Play with the toddler? I’d go up to my room too.?

You can't ignore a toddler or indeed an under 5 even when giving attention to the older child it is often interrupted so it's almost like having a new sibling and even when you get attention it is not on your own. Maybe have time on her own without the toddler there as you would with an older sibling. I know this as DGD age 4 never shuts up ever and it is most exasperating to her brother who is 7. He says he had the best day ever going shopping (trainers) alone with Mum and Dad while we had his sister.
Handwashing - I think most people had sore hands during first lockdown. Make sure they are throughly dried as that can cause soreness. I have palmers hand cream (cocoa I think) which is very good and so is Norwegian cream. Nurses used to get atrixo supplied which was good - have to buy your own now. It is worth a visit to GP if you can get one so it it is noted and maybe a doctor can reassure her more?

Hand cream is only a sticking plaster though Elaine Excessive hand washing is a big big sign of distress or fear and in an adult it would lead to OCD and/ or mental health problems
Is that caused by over zealous Covid regimes or as a result of being labelled jealous and encouraged or expected to be ‘in the family group’ with the baby boy I think Kathiawar is much much more concerning than her not wanting to be involved with a baby boy
I m amazed that the title of the thread is not “worried about a granddaughter washing her hands red raw” but that just seems to be an add on for Nana56

Nana56

We don't think the toddler walks on water. We think it's unfortunate that older cousin is upset if not getting sĺ gbd attention

"all the attention..."

For 7+ years the older granddaughter has had all the attention. I'd say it's perfectly understandable that she's upset and feels a bit pushed out now, who wouldn't be?

She sensibly takes herself off to her own room in your house though, her safe place. She's not causing a scene from what you say.

Maybe call her down when the toddler has a nap, or goes home, and do a "big girl's" activity with her?
Don't push the relationship, they'll find their own level.

So hard when you love them both ?

Thanks for all your comments. I'd just like to add that i spend lots of quality time with DGD . We enjoy swimming together and I collect her from school once a week. We do homework and chat about anything.

That’s great nana but she isn’t interested in her cousin please accept that, and do check out the more important point of why she’s excessively washing That a much bigger problem

BlueBelle

Hand cream is only a sticking plaster though Elaine Excessive hand washing is a big big sign of distress or fear and in an adult it would lead to OCD and/ or mental health problems
Is that caused by over zealous Covid regimes or as a result of being labelled jealous and encouraged or expected to be ‘in the family group’ with the baby boy I think Kathiawar is much much more concerning than her not wanting to be involved with a baby boy
I m amazed that the title of the thread is not “worried about a granddaughter washing her hands red raw” but that just seems to be an add on for Nana56

I am very aware of that. DD2 is a CAMHS nurse and I was a nurse before retiring and dealt with worse than this however CAMHS currently are inundated country wide with eating disorders (some critical) possibly exacerbated by Covid which is why I suggested contacting GP initially so it can be assessed. However the sore and painful hands also need practical suggestions to help prior to maybe dermatology referral. DD1 is a very anxious person regarding health and hand washing in particular and her hands are also red raw but the creams help a bit to ease the soreness. OCD in a child needs careful treatment I agree but it won't be quick. Nothing is just now sadly.

A cousin of mine was always the youngest for years and so got all the attention as 'the cute one'. A baby was born in another part of the family when she was about that age and suddenly the baby was the cute and small one that everyone focused on. Jealousy was the outcome there. Is this what has happened here?

There's a big age gap. Maybe in time the cousins will develop a relationship. Maybe they won't. I wouldn't have any expectations about what their relationship should be.

The hand washing is what I'd be concerned about. It sounds like she has a lot of anxiety and this is what I'd be addressing.

It will phase out and I wouldn't give it too much attention. My granddaughter wasn't keen on her baby brother, probably still isn't haha and he's 8 but she's protective of him and buys him something when it's me and her time ( I have 121 time with all of my grandchildren ). It is is what it is.