Am I in the wrong

You need to talk to someone about your options and the consequences of any decisions you take Lollipoplove. With the best will in the world this isn't the place to get the information and help you need.

Smileless2012

You need to talk to someone about your options and the consequences of any decisions you take Lollipoplove. With the best will in the world this isn't the place to get the information and help you need.

Completely agree.

Lollipoplove, please make an appointment with your GP who will point you in the right direction.

Yes I agree too, please find the right people to help you Lollypoplove

Lollipoplove

Baggs

Well I wouldn’t. And maybe one day yourll be in pain everyday & need strangers to wash you

I assume this was to me?

Like I said, I’d rather strangers than my children.

As I said above, please reach out towards getting in touch with a psychologist for therapy. I think it will help you sort your feelings out.

Best wishes

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Lollipoplove

Yes I am. But there’s enough bad advice to push someone over the edge

Ignore people who have no compassion or who are just nasty.
We aren't all like that.
Please look after yourself.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Poor OP, all I can say that I had 6 rounds of chemo 11 years ago. It was tough but doable. So glad I did it and am still here. I don’t have any daughters to ask for help though. OP seems desperate for help, I feel for her.

So do I Mousybrown

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

I think the problem is...we never really have the full picture. We make responses on the information we are given, and people are always going to disagree.

On the face of it, from the first post, it does appear to be emotional blackmailing. However, I tried to see it from a different perspective.

Once the OP posted a bit more, I felt a slightly different picture emerging. I’ve no doubt she is in pain, and very unwell mentally. However, she painted a different picture of her ‘past self’, when she talked about the 2,000 people who worked for her. That’s a strong, well adjusted woman, who is quite clearly able to think for herself, and take charge of others.

Is it that she’s been a difficult person in her home life, and this is the basis for the SIL’s behaviour, and her own daughter basically condoning it?

I’m not saying any of this is how it was. It’s supposition, but in my experience, people rarely turn their backs on kind, loving people.

I agree, the daughter should not be involved. It’s between the OP and her doctors.

I wish you well Lollipoplove

I got a rather different take on things when a previous thread by OP was brought to our attention upthread DD but didn’t comment. The situation is usually more complex than is first revealed but it’s no excuse for further upsetting someone who is unwell and asking for help. Not that you did, I don’t mean you.

Lollipoplove

Baggs

Well I wouldn’t. And maybe one day yourll be in pain everyday & need strangers to wash you

I am in pain every day and take strong painkillers every day. If I need strangers to wash me at some point so be it. I work alongside carers (though I am not one) and they are lovely, well-trained people who really do care in all meanings of the word. The people they attend to are fortunate indeed.

I hope you will be as fortunate, lolli.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Lollipop,You sound so very unhappy. I can quite understand how you feel like giving up, however, life really is prescious and if you do have a good prognosis please reconsider, for you, not anyone else. I can’t see how you can alter you sil attitude to you, for your daughter to put pressure on would only rebound. It has to come from them, which does seem unlikely.so potentially it couldn’t work. I still have times when I feel like giving up without my family, how much harder for you with your health issues. I think back to my husband fighting to live at any cost and what he went through, he would be so annoyed if I gave up, he used to say if things were not going your way change your attitude, but it does take a lot of determination. Keep going for you, no one knows what tomorrow brings, live can always throw curve balls. ?