How judgmental are you about people.

Scones

Sometimes people telling you you should be more tolerant do so in an attempt to stretch the limits of what is tolerable to include their own intolerable behaviour.

Hmmm, not unless you have been chatting to the Taliban or similar though.
Nobody on this thread has exhibited intolerable behaviour ( as yet!)

This thread was chosen to 'judge' others, nothing else.

That's very judgemental.

This thread was chosen to 'judge' others, nothing else

Well it could be considered an assumption and certainly assumptions abound on GN by posters thinking they know what other posters mean!
But usually don't.

Posters are judged on here by what they read. I’ve noticed more and more that if anyone even mentions anything they have read in the Daily Mail they are practically falling over themselves to apologise beforehand because they know there will be a ‘pile on’ from the usual posters. At the weekend I buy both the ‘Guardian’ and the ‘Daily Mail’. I choose these newspapers because the agenda for each is probably about as extreme as you can get. Generally I find the reality is somewhere in the middle. I would like to make it clear that I am not a racist, I have no political agenda but I like to keep an ‘open mind’ and read different viewpoints and then make up my own mind. It is completely wrong for people to be judged solely by what they read. Wide reading is not only educational but motivates you to actually think for yourself rather than follow the herd.

How far are we supposed to tolerate acceptance or even support of racism, injustice, fascism, child or animal cruelty, to mention just a few.

Are you saying there are posters who express those views on Gransnet, Kali2?
If so, I believe it is quite rare and those posts are rightly deleted.

Or are you saying that certain daily newspapers publish those views and ergo their readers must support those views too?
If so, then I believe you are wrong.

Where have you seen support for those things you mention either on GN or in the media? Supporting injustice, child cruelty, racism, fascism etc etc?

There are exceptions but this country is, on the whole, a fair and tolerant one.

Your post sounds unfair and judgemental.

Calistemon

^This thread was chosen to 'judge' others, nothing else^

Well it could be considered an assumption and certainly assumptions abound on GN by posters thinking they know what other posters mean!
But usually don't.

That's exactly it.
It seems very conceited for posters to think they can actually get inside the heads of others and know what they are thinking. That just leads to false assumptions.

Calistemon

^This thread was chosen to 'judge' others, nothing else^

Well it could be considered an assumption and certainly assumptions abound on GN by posters thinking they know what other posters mean!
But usually don't.

When I say it I should make it clear that the assumption by some posters is that the thread was started to judge others.

I do not believe it was - it was asking why posters are often judged by others, which in itself is intolerant.

Josianne

Calistemon

This thread was chosen to 'judge' others, nothing else

Well it could be considered an assumption and certainly assumptions abound on GN by posters thinking they know what other posters mean!
But usually don't.

That's exactly it.
It seems very conceited for posters to think they can actually get inside the heads of others and know what they are thinking. That just leads to false assumptions.

Oh good, I knew what I meant but re-read it and thought no-one else would.

At least you did, Josianne ?

Calistemon

Josianne

Calistemon

This thread was chosen to 'judge' others, nothing else

Well it could be considered an assumption and certainly assumptions abound on GN by posters thinking they know what other posters mean!
But usually don't.

That's exactly it.
It seems very conceited for posters to think they can actually get inside the heads of others and know what they are thinking. That just leads to false assumptions.

Oh good, I knew what I meant but re-read it and thought no-one else would.

At least you did, Josianne ?

Maybe I just did get inside your head then Calistemon!?

Everyone is judgemental. Or, perhaps a more polite term would be ‘discerning.’

We make decisions on a regular basis about the people we meet, the situations we find ourselves in, and make choices based on the information we have available.

Some judgements are quicker than others, some change over time. It’s human nature, and as everything about being human goes, can be good and bad, mild and extreme.

I have certain ‘do not cross’ lines in my head. If someone does, I’m out, and there’s no coming back from that. I suspect most people have similar attitudes (not that everyone’s lines are the same, of course).

Somewhere along the line, being called judgemental became a huge insult, but the truth is, we need to be able to judge other people in relation to ourselves/families in order to make good decisions. “Is this a safe person? Is this a healthy person? Is this a good dynamic?” etc.

In general, I am in favour of "live and let live". However, that does not mean that I have to tolerate, let alone respect strong opinions expressed by someone who is clearly totally ignorant of the subject being discussed. Covid vaccinations are often misrepresented and some of the suggestions about them are, frankly, quite absurd. I do not bother to argue with the proponents of unscientific views – why waste my breath – but, of course, I have made a judgement.

Well said Gwyneth?.

I’m another Guardian/Daily Mail, amongst other papers, and like to have a balance - plus the cryptic xword in the Mail is devilishly difficult!?

I think some threads very biased, like Politics, woe betide anyone that tries to penetrate a post there. I very rarely raise my head above the parapet on there. I am a supporter of my party, but boy do they make mistakes, when they do it gets to me as they rarely own them, but still better than the alternative.
Same with Covid and with Brexit, Very definite camps there, don’t cross the line. You can’t really raise a valid point as you would be shot down. I find it best now to leave them all to it.
I find support threads very good, but they have people coming on judging what they don’t know.
I get the Telegraph as it is one of the few papers I can do the crosswords and they do seem more unbiased than the Guardian.

But why do we judge?

“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.” ~ Carl Jung

This quote sums it up all. Judging is easy and doesn’t require much thinking or reasoning. Our brains are wired to make automatic judgments about others’ behaviours so that we can move through the world without spending much time or energy in understanding everything we see.

Understanding is harder as it requires deep thinking, patience, compassion, and an open mind.

Human behaviour specialist Dr John Demartini refers to this phenomenon as “self-righteous” and “self-wrongeous.”

Judging is simply our attempt to create a hierarchy of better than and less than, superior to and inferior to, and to define worth to everyone and everything that we meet. We have the innate urge to be right, to be better, to be superior—always. Our binary view of the world around us necessitates us to be either right or wrong, so we tend to judge.

But judging is partly what helps us to think. I dont mean about what paper people read but about the type of society we live in, we judge that it's wrong to steal, or wrong for children to be hurt, or wrong to discriminate, those are all judgments about behaviours.

Always one to analyse how a comment looks on the page me, I think the italic quotes facility can make people appear very judgmental when followed by a sarcastic comment like .......

"Yeah right!"
"You couldn't make it up!"
"Let me guess why!"
"In your dreams!"

It happens quite a lot and rather than furthering the discussion it derails threads and ruffles feathers in completely the wrong way. I think Calmlocket's post explains it in an interesting and honest way.

lemongrove

Nope Scones.....that just means you will only tolerate the opinions of others if they either agree with your own or if they
can ‘justify’ them to you.
That isn’t what tolerance is at all.
This is mainly an opinions forum, and unless the opinions posted are either racist or something else including personal attacks on another poster which need reporting to GNHQ then that’s what it is, the opinion of another person.

I agree

Many posters on here seem to see themselves as tolerant as long as it is either a message they agree with, or is packaged in a way that they find acceptable. Not tolerance at all imo.

Alegrias1

Having read the OP, I can confirm that my tolerance does not stretch to tolerating things that are inherently and demonstrably intolerable.

I want to say I agree with that but am wary as I was accused yesterday of sticking up for my mates!
Surely we are allowed to disagree with opinions ?
How utterly boring and pointless if it was all just sweetness and light and “don’t go on this thread if you don’t agree “?

It’s the; ‘keep up’ or ’is that clear enough for you’ type comments that a poster ends a lot of his/her posts with.
I Judge that.
They’re just said to goad & provoke in my opinion. No need for it.

Who is that poster Kandinsky?

She sounds like someone I'd like.

Lucca and I could be mates with her.

LovelyCuppa

Many posters on here seem to see themselves as tolerant as long as it is either a message they agree with, or is packaged in a way that they find acceptable. Not tolerance at all imo.

As for the "packaging" bit which niggles me more, at least it's on paper format can be adapted to say the same thing in a less judgmental manner.

Oh yes and all the matey business is tiresome too.

Signed
Bessie no mates. xxx

Yes sorry about that Lucca. I shouldn’t have said that to you yesterday, it was unnecessary and I apologise.
I’ve never said that before so don’t know why I said it.
Hope we can move on

And how refreshing it is when some of us, (though only a few), apologise when we have innocently or deliberately come across as judgemental.