My grandkids and my ex husband's mistress

Calling another woman a tramp and judging her for her previous relationships is sexist and really unpleasant. I’m sorry you went through this, but you’re acting incredibly poorly.

I've been divorced for just over 20 years. Our children were still quite young and both of us made the decision not to give them reason to take sides. My ex subsequently re-married and I had no problem with her having contact with the children and even going on holiday. The only one who tried to pull me apart was my ex-MIL. Fast forward ... the children accept what happened, love both parents and they're well-balanced young adults. I still have to face it, if my daughter decides to get married because I really couldn't stand being in the same room as my ex-MIL. I've told my daughter to get married in secret somewhere remote!

Now, I'm in a different situation. My partner had an affair ten years ago and left his wife, who is still very bitter. This had nothing to do with me, by the way. I'm aware that I've only heard one side of the story and we've discussed it. I'm satisfied he's not a serial adulterer, but was in a marriage which was going wrong.

His ex-wife has told one of their sons that she doesn't want me to have any contact with the grandchildren, which has put the son in a very difficult position. Up to now, I've always made myself scarce when they visit, but my partner and I are planning to live together soon, so it's going to be difficult. The grandchildren call their grandmother "Nana" and I'm X. They just accept it, but the ex-wife can't.

My partner's son is getting married soon and I said right from the beginning that I didn't want to go to the wedding. I'm OK about it, but I don't know how much longer I can keep on being excluded. The ex-wife has called me something similar to "tramp" to one of the other children. The children jumped to my defence and, if anything, think less of their own mother. I feel in a very difficult position. I love their father and have tried to be "adult" about it all. I would love my partner to stop any form of contact with his ex, but that won't happen because she's the mother of his children and he still pays her (very generous) maintenance.

Just be careful Mariemal. Your children could end up cutting you off completely.

You have every right to feel the way you do. Both your Ex husband and his now wife behaved appallingly and you were very much wronged.

But that is separate from your daughter’s relationship with her father and his now wife. Your daughter is in an awkward position that if she wants to see her own father, she has to put u with his wife. Other than asking that your paths do not cross and not to tell you anything about your ex and his wife, that’s all you can or should do so to keep your own relationship with your daughter and grandchildren. Please don’t make any more demands on your daughter. Best you just have the ex and his wife as a topic not for discussion.

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Could PRIEST ADU and his amazing spells help me get back that ear ring that just slipped down the plug hole jasmin63446?

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Again!

Mariemal55

Yes and I will afford her marriage the same respect she afforded mine.

You do realise that by grimly hanging on to your bitterness the only person you are punishing is yourself? You aren’t hurting your former husband and his wife.

But the second wife is intruding and hurting the first wife with regard to the grandchildren, which really aren't her concern.. So easy to say don't hang on to your bitterness; I don't suppose really Mariemal enjoys it.

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My poor Mum went through the mill when my Dad was unfaithful, it all started when I was 6 but when I was 15 I knew what was going on. The stupid man even took his newest girlfriend shopping in our local High Street at the same time my Mum normally went and she saw them. It really floored her, in all their years of marriage he'd never been shopping with her. She regularly referred to this woman as his 'tart', an old word I know, and her anger was also directed at the woman. I think acknowledging my Dad no longer loved or cared about her was too painful, so she blamed the 'other woman' for breaking up the marriage. She never stopped loving my Dad, it was heartbreaking to see. She died aged 65, my Dad is still alive at 90.

You have to let this go MarieMal55. Make yourself the focus of a fantastic life, plan lots of things to look forward to so these people fade into the background.

The bitterness I felt towards the woman who my husband left me for wasn’t just about what she did to me but because she didn’t care about the pain it would cause my children. In the end she was unfaithful to my ex as well. The children never had anything to do with her. I don’t think I’ll ever recover from the affair, though. Even though it was over twenty years ago it was a living nightmare for two years. It’s very difficult to forgive someone for that.

I am sorry that after all these years you still feel so bitter towards your ex. I think you need to let go and make a life for yourself outside your family. There are plenty of people in a similar situation and an extended family seems to be the norm these days

This is an old thread.

Gordon Bennett! Between Priest Adu and Dr Hope being the key to all, we've certainly attracted the spammers on this thread. Reported.

This is an old post resurrected. The poster couldn't move on from the past, it is such a pity not to let the past go. I have been through it. It takes two, he wasn't made to be with the woman, he chose. You cant stop in a marriage if one wants out.

Your ex husband is to blame for the marriage break up and the affair. He could have said No I'm married if the OW came on to him, which is possible.
Your resentment is ruining your life and moving to run away from the situation will impact on your DC and DGC. You seriously need to recognise that your marriage was not secure and happy as your Ex had an affair, left you and was in love with someone else. People in love with each other remain faithful and don't mess around imo.
It's sad that you can't move on and find peace in your life either alone or with someone new.
Your DDs relationship with her dad and stepmum is not your business or concern now. Don't try to sabotage that as it may well backfire on you. I think you should get counselling to help you move on from this as 20 years stuck in a cloud of bitterness, resentment and hatred will impact on your mental and physical health.
All the best xxx

It’s an OLD thread, again.

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Not again.
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