What I would tell my 20 year old self if I could

Of dear, what regrets this thread brings.
I would say, stand up to your mother, be more assertive.
DO NOT MARRY SO YOUNG.
Too late to say work harder at school but take up further education, you are brighter than you believe.
Get out and take what life offers.

I think ANN is right about standing up for yourself at home or at work. We were kept “under the thumb” in those days.

I wouldn't say anything, my life turned out just fine. I married very young and had my children quickly which mean't they were all left home by the time I was 43.
No regrets whatsoever.

Talk - listen - more to your wonderful mum and dad.

Don't get pregnant when you are not married.

Be careful about making important decisions. Take your time and consider every angle.
Stick up for yourself.
Think very carefully about your choice of husband.

At twenty I had attitude but I was very naive too. I didn’t listen to advice I thought I knew everything how wrong I was.
But you live and learn as life passes by I don’t have regrets I made my own decisions.

'Make the move. Go on, you know you want to'.

Persevere with what you do best even if it takes longer.

I should have continued with further study to be an interpreter after university but decided I’d had enough studying. Silly.

Ditch the boyfriend.
( Reader I married him).
Big mistake. Huge.

I'd say "Try to stand up for yourself a little more."

I'd say, 'Don't worry! Marriage and babies aren't for you. There is plenty of life that you'll like a lot better!'

I’d say to my self “don’t be so impulsive”.
It lost us a huge amount of money. I’m super cautious now but the horse has bolted.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it?

There is nothing I would change because I had to walk this path to lead me to my wonderful children, friends and career.

So I would tell 20 year old me:

Hang in there, it's going to be ok

Be more confident that I could make it on my own and didn’t need marriage to shore me up. Take a few more risks. Be brave?

I'd also say, 'Shag a lot more men!' That horse has bolted, regretfully!

don't waste time and money going to university.
join the civil service.
don't have ideas above your station. don't try to be middle class, or mingle with them to seek acceptance.
do evening classes in useful or enjoyable subjects.
try to learn to cook.
avoid people who are not nice.
stand up for yourself.

Your feelings are valid. Be kind, be brave, speak out and be your own best friend.

Don't worry, it changes nothing and anyway very often the things you worry about never happen (wouldn't add that things you have never even thought to worry about get you instead!!)

One my father impressed on me and took years to put into practice.
NO is a very small word but very difficult to say.
One I did say to my 20-year-old self,
You've got to get out of this place even for a short time and luckily I did. so listening to my father was something I would say at 20 .

I wasn't told those things either Monica, it's very dependent on the sort of parenting you were fortunate or not fortunate to have had and it can often be very healing for people to allow their grown up selves to step in and provide that parenting for themselves however late in life.

Just be you.
Don't get married.
Do it sooner.

Have more sex!

Have more sex.

Don’t put on weight because when you do get round to losing it all your boobs will never ever ever become one iota smaller!
And seriously, be more confident. Looking back I am horrified at how much I let myself be used and abused and never thought it wrong because I had no sense of self worth whatsoever.