What I would tell my 20 year old self if I could

Go for what I want and don’t hang back !

Keep taking the pill.

Don't trust the English charmer you have met at university, don't marry him and move to England. Stay in Canada!

I read what I wrote and realised it might look as if I didn’t enjoy being a mother and that I don’t love my children.
What I meant was you could have a better life if not tied down with children.

Stay single … and enjoy life

Try to have children while you are young.

If it turns out (as it did) that you have difficulty conceiving you will still be young enough to be considered for becoming adoptive parents and get through the screening process before the cut-off date = your 40th birthday.

This will save you years of hopeless longing for a child.

Spend more time doing than thinking; say yes more often than no; be braver; believe in yourself.

Don't believe everything you are told, can't believe how naive I was over certain things.

Get help for the emotional damage from childhood before you marry and definitely before you have children. That would have have helped replicating toxic relationships I thought were normal.

I would say don’t go on a diet you are perfectly fine as you are. Instead of 30 years of yo-yo dieting. My first diet I was 9st - such a daft thing to do.
Don’t get married young
You can still have a good time and save money.

I would have said have the courage to leave a marriage if you know it's not going to work.

What a great idea.

I would tell myself that I am by nature a rather anxious person, so I should take on jobs that weren't stressful.

I think I would tell myself to be much more choosy with men I dated and certainly with the man I married.

I would tell myself to be a lot less trusting, and to look after myself first.

I would have tried to understand my father better.

Thanks for giving me food for thought for the day !

You’re better than your mother thinks you are

Believe in yourself.
Don’t ALWAYS put others first-they don’t always have your best interests in mind.
Patience is a virtue but should have its limits.
Follow your dreams while you still have the choice.

Stand up for yourself. You are just as good as anyone else. Don’t accept put-downs. Constructive feedback is one thing, a put-down is a put-down.
If you realise you are being used, distance yourself or get out of the relationship. Don’t give more than you receive back. Don’t put up with toxic relationships or toxic workplaces, just leave. Life is full of opportunities and you deserve better.
Choose men more wisely. Charm and excitement don’t last, kindness and reliability do.
Spend plenty of time with your parents as they get older. Once they are gone, they are gone.
Try to balance head and heart when making decisions.
Don’t take life too seriously!

I would say to learn become my own best friend. Like yourself and you will forge a relationship where you aren't desperate for others to like you, nor for their company and approval.

Definitely !

Be the best person you can be, Always show kindness. Be assertive and and have respect for yourselves and others,

Don’t drink alcohol.

So many wasted days when I could’ve been out up a hill somewhere!!

Don't keep listening to all the religious stuff that kept me from doing normal growing up things. Read more than I was allowed to do. It's okay to relax and do nothing sometimes. Parents don't always know what's best for you.

I would insist that I went on the contraceptive pill

Don't get married ?

Look after number 1 because no one else will. Don’t get addicted to alcohol or prescription drugs it will bring you great shame and you will miss the 4 beautiful seasons. Let go of your phobia that you can’t control. You are worth it. You are enough. Stand up to your husband don’t accept the mental cruelty.

Wise advice GrandtanteJE65.

I'd say, ignore the medical advice and keep running, think hard before you speak, remember people's birthdays.