Where did 'please' and 'thank you' go?

It’s not just adults, kids are doing bad manners too now. I’m noticing that more and more.

I have nieces in Brooklyn (a preteen and teenager) who are eager to receive their gifts but I wait forever for a simple thank you. Sometimes I notify their mom… she gets after them, then I receive sweet greetings.

It’s like pulling teeth. Hah! It does start at home - if the parent makes that a part of their required rearing.

These days kids are SO distracted, they may know better, but their young life is already overwhelming. I try to cut them a little slack.

manners do change or drift over time, i guess.
there is a discussion on MN about brushing of hair at one's desk in the office.
also in shared space in a flatshare.
the overwhelming consensus is that it's ok.

Well I'm glad to say (and I know this sounds very smug) that both my older grandchildren (aged 11 and 8) were taught at nursery to respond with please and thank you in Makatan sign language before they could even speak! I still know the signing as they used it when I looked after them two days a week from 11 months old. Please and thank you are part of taheir vocabulary even now, and if they are ever distracted and forget, I just pause a bit before giving them whatever it is I'm giving them and they quickly remember their manners

My youngest GD, who is just 14 months, has begun to form her first words and one of them is "Ta" when she is given something, even individual bricks to form a tower while playing. I know some people will react with horror that she is using "slang" instead of the proper words, but it's a start!

However, I do notice the lack of simple manners when out and about. It's very sad...

I would also add that their parents are very hot on "Please" and "Thank you" as well, they didn't just leave it up to others to teach their children basic good manners...

I'm on granny duties this week and though I've had to remind my DGS to say thank you when I've given him things he certainly knows at 3 years old. My 11 month old DGD sometime says 'Ta' when passed something but she has plenty of time to learn. I too use Preecycle and am always as polite as possible if requesting something. If I'm giving things away I go by politeness if more than one person requests something. Some posters say that only polite requests will be considered.

Freecycle not Precycle!

If my two grandkids ever forgot their ‘please’ or ‘thank you ‘s…they’d soon get reminded by either of their parents or me .
They are 12 and ‘soon-to-be’17.
The very thought !!!!

Here in Spain, they know you are British because (amongst other things!) we always say por favor and gracias when asking for something. The Spain, apparently don't!

My then 3year old Dgs was at his preschool Christmas party & the children were being entertained by a magician.He went round asking the children what's the magic word & got the reply "abracadabra", until he got to my grandson who answered "please" to lots of laughter from parents & staff.

Agree

My children are British, Scottish, and now 35 and 32 and have aleays said please,thank you,excuse me, and held doors open for people. As do their children. Just good manners! My parents were sticklers for it. Mum and dad said 'Good manners cost nothing.' Not all Brits are the same!

mancgirl

Here in Spain, they know you are British because (amongst other things!) we always say por favor and gracias when asking for something. The Spain, apparently don't!

We were buying tickets for a brewery visit in Amsterdam, and the young assistant told us she loves us British, with all our pleases and thank yous - ours were apparently the first she’d heard that morning. I did think that she’d perhaps just been lucky with the British people she’d met!

Please and thank you gp a long way my mother told me. Yes it is true. Nowadays it is an official secrets language co67

Gave gen pounds each to my four youngest g.children (still at school), for easter. As usual the two daughters (11yrs and 14 yrs) of my Educational Psychologist daughter, never acknowledged this gift. They never do, even if given something in person. Not their fault, obviously have never been taught to do so.
Yes, I do resent this. Will not leave the out of anything I give as a norm,. But when it comes to extras I am afraid they do not come very high up.

Lovely story put out by an American stand up comediene which really struck a strong a chord with me.

^Grandma has eight g.children. As each graduation, she gives them a hundred dollars, and appreciates them saying Thank You. However one actually sent a letter to her expressing their gratitude. Grandma is delighted with this letter keeps it and shows it off to her friends. A few months slater this granddaughter. telephones Grandma, thanking her again for that hundred dollars and saying she has just spent the last of it in a charity shop getting together an outfit for her graduation, not perfect, but it will do. Grandma, immediately sends her a further fifty do
to get a better outfit.^

Not just the kids Mine always did but not so my husband never a please nor a thank you unless sarcastically

Should have seen the red flags