How would you deal with this?

Stop feeling guilty. Not your problem.Sometimes we have to think of ourselves. We can't please people all of the time and you'll find they wouldn't do the same for you.

I wouldn't dream of asking someone for a lift at 7am. Not even family, I would automatically book a taxi.

You dealt with it perfectly and honestly. There are no bad feelings from your neighbor. Get over it. Forget about it. You are fine and so is your neighbor. You didn't lie. You weren't late. She didn't throw a fit. No one is swearing at each other. Forget about it now and get on with other things. All is well. Stop feeling guilty. Everyone must learn to say no (myself included)

You are just overthinking this and must stop.
You were right in saying it was too early. She appears not to have taken umbrage and if she had done it would have been unjust.
Please be kind to yourself.

Maybe would have been better not to raise the topic again. You did kind of force her into talking about it. When she was ready she'd have started talking to you again.

I messaged her on WhatsApp on 6th July saying that I felt awful. I also said when I went away I left my car near the bus station for the duration I was away, couldn’t they do that, as they have 2 cars at the moment. No reply. Today 14th July I was out in the garden when she said Hi, I asked if I had offended her as she didn’t reply to my message.

Thst was a mistake.

Just a cheery "Did you have a good holiday?" would have been better.

Never mind now, at least she won't ask you again.

Callistemon213

^I messaged her on WhatsApp on 6th July saying that I felt awful. I also said when I went away I left my car near the bus station for the duration I was away, couldn’t they do that, as they have 2 cars at the moment. No reply. Today 14th July I was out in the garden when she said Hi, I asked if I had offended her as she didn’t reply to my message. ^

Thst was a mistake.

Just a cheery "Did you have a good holiday?" would have been better.

Never mind now, at least she won't ask you again.

That's because they didn't leave until yesterday morning, so hadn't gone.

So why didn't she reply to my message that I sent 8 days earlier, she does text (because we have in the past) She told me she had seen it.
Which then made me think that I had offended her, that's why I asked.

Best to stop fretting and
Frozen "Let It Go" Sequence Performed by Idina MenzelYouTube · Walt Disney Animation Studios6 Dec 2013

Sorry:

www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DL0MK7qz13bU&ved=2ahUKEwirmsXCpquHAxXSQkEAHVuHB2AQwqsBegQISRAE&usg=AOvVaw2GU7qIKyHsYPwWqChJfNiu

If you are asked to do something and you don't want to just say sorry, I can't and leave it at that.

I think someone asking you to run them to the station when they ring for a taxi is being selfish. You are not a taxi service and you would have had to come back home again after dropping them off, whereas a taxi would get another pickup.

They were just trying to save money at your time and expense.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Thank you everyone for replying to my message.

Which I asked how other people would have dealt with the situation.

I read each and every one of them.

I now have my answers and will move on.

Think your neighbour should have thought about travel arrangements before booking holiday, not relying on others. Would be different if their preplanned arrangement had gone askew and they were left in lurch. You have nothing to feel bad about.

In the years I was travelling solo to mid eastern destinations all my flights were night flights it would never have occurred to me to ask someone to drive me although I live only 15 minutes from Manchester airport. I inevitably arrived at those destinations at some weird hour of the morning and pre-arranged for the hotel to send a driver. The driver often ended up as my private guide and personal shopper.

Someone I was friendly with asked me if I would like a day out to Chester, I replied that I would, was then told "Well we'l go in your car".

Baggs is quite right.
They were simply trying to save the taxi fare. It was a very early call an I wouldn’t dream of asking someone to do it at that time.
Push it right to back of your mind and don’t worry about it.

op I understand how you were feeling, I can be like that... take it easy...

atherineca

Thank you everyone for replying to my message.

Which I asked how other people would have dealt with the situation.

I read each and every one of them.

I now have my answers and will move on.

atherineca
Thanks for taking the time to come back and acknowledge the responses.
Hope you’ve stopped feeling guilty by now. There was no need.
Enjoy the summer

You did right - you havd to look after yourself first !

I have a concern about taxi drivers knowing you are away. My father told story of neighbour who forgot his passport and rushed back to house to find the taximan having a cuppa in his kitchen. I would offer to 'mind' a neighbours house and would happily oblige with a lift at a reasonable hour and a short distance. I would expect this to be reciprocated as one does with neighbours. Sorry at my age, or any age really, 7 am is unreasonable.

Yes i'd get a taxi- maybe she didnt have the money, or want to spare it as she would want to spend it while she was away? If she was being nice herself she would have offered you petrol money to 'persuade' you? I certainly would never dream of asking a neighbour or neighbours relative to get up early to give me a lift- and why accept it from a 'neighbours relative? Does she even know them well enough? Ignore her 'good as gold' snide side remark- she seems like a manipulator.Let her ask the others next time as well.

I didn't want to bring it up again but maybe some of you did not see my 2nd post on here, which was ...........

OK I'm beginning to sound like the worst neighbour here. I have my other next door neighbour who is in her 80's. (Who lives alone but does have family nearby) I've done the odd shopping for. Painted her small fence. Taken things to the charity shop and two trips to the dump when she emptied her shed. Which I helped with. Did some weeding for etc etc.
If it had been later in the day I would have taken the neighbours that asked too. Although it would have been a bit of a squeeze in my small car. They have a 40 odd year old son that lives with them, that used to drive, he doesn't have a car now. Plus she takes taxis everywhere, when her husband drives. She also has a brother that drives.

I am in the middle of painting my elderly neighbours wall, as we speak. I am just taking a break.

It wasn't about the money it's only about 15 minutes drive away. I wouldn't have taken anything.

It was as I said the time of day for me. I do not function at 6am in the morning.

But they are early risers .............

Nannan2

Yes i'd get a taxi- maybe she didnt have the money, or want to spare it as she would want to spend it while she was away? If she was being nice herself she would have offered you petrol money to 'persuade' you? I certainly would never dream of asking a neighbour or neighbours relative to get up early to give me a lift- and why accept it from a 'neighbours relative? Does she even know them well enough? Ignore her 'good as gold' snide side remark- she seems like a manipulator.Let her ask the others next time as well.

The three of them work.

Nannan2. Sorry yes they do know him he's an ex colleague of her husbands.

Many people take kindness for a weakness and few people remember, or are grateful. Is it modern life? I don't know. But I now take the attitude that I help if it's going to make ME feel good - because being kind does. If not I make an excuse. There are too many users and if we do not look out for ourselves, then who will?

Not too early in the summertime surely ! It's not the middle of the night and it was a one off. I would have helped them out I'm afraid. And I don't think it's too much to ask of a neighbour. I've been asked and agreed to do far more for my neighbours and I'm 75! It's Karma and I get repaid in kindnesses of all sorts.