How to politely refuse the friend that keeps turning up with food gifts

If the person is making food to share they can share it somewhere where it IS wanted.

To make excuses for someone who repeatedly violates our boundaries causes us stress, so best to re-assert our boundaries and stand up for our health intentions, knowing that a true friend will respect this. Someone who is only interested in their own ego will not respect yours.

psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2016/07/how-to-deal-with-people-who-repeatedly-violate-your-boundaries#Special-challenges-when-dealing-with-repeat-boundary-violators:

Wow...

To make excuses for someone who repeatedly violates our boundaries causes us stress,

Sorry OnwardandUpward - was that aimed at me?

I rarely eat sweet things, if anyone offers me any I just say no thank you, I won’t it eat and don’t. If they ask me how it was I say ‘I didn’t eat it, I did explain I wouldn’t’.
Once you’ve done it once, the message gets across

take it to a food bank Easy answer and someone else will benifit

Of course not! @Arewethereyet I was referring to the person I was writing about who kept giving me cake. I dont know why you would think that I would be talking to you in particular

Is your friend supporting you in other ways as well as bringing food gifts? I would be very reluctant to hurt her feelings. However you have to be mindful when someone else has health problems which may be made worse by the wrong food and drink.

My nephew and I used to enjoy a glass of wine with a meal once a week. Lately he has been advised not to drink for a few months because of a health problem. We got some non alcoholic wine in this week and it didnt taste any different. We think we may stick to it.

OnwardandUpward

The best gift is something that someone wanted or needed. If they don't want it (because it's unhealthy for them ) and they don't need it, it would be better to find someone who does. There are LOADS of charities and food banks that would be SO grateful.

Hygiene IS an issue. I was once horrendously ill after eating a home made chocolate brownie offered to me by a neighbour.

Garden produce is always welcome, because it's HEALTHY. I don't believe anyone would turn down home grown veg, unless they just did a big shop and can't use it.

I agree, making cakes and watching someone eat them can be a power thing. I had someone who I told I had a weight problem and that I was giving up cake, make a cake ON PURPOSE and bring it round. When I said I'd told her I wasn't eating cake she made such a fuss, saying that she'd made it especially- that I ended up eating some in front of her as she watched with undisguised pleasure.

At that point it becomes abuse.

Yes, I totally agree with you. I belonged to a social group and we had one of these 'cake feeders'. She would arrive with trays full of her creations and my every answer was 'No thank you, I am fine'. I do bake at home but what I want, when I want, and how I want. You are so right about fixing boundaries.

Thanks for understanding Tuaim. Some people think their cakes are so amazing that everyone should want to eat them.

As I've got older I've seemed to develop a delicate bladder to certain ingredients and I've always struggled with bowel disease , among other health problems which I won't go into. Allergies too. It's so much easier to manage my symptoms if I say no to unnecessary food items being offered!

Like the woman you mentioned, I know the kind of woman who bakes for pleasure and then wafts around bearing trays of cake, wanting to be told how delicious her creations are!

It would be nice if "no thanks" was accepted with grace without saying no feeling like an issue or them trying to convince you to have some.

Dazy a close friend of mine suffers from Interstical cystitis. It is indeed a very harrowing condition to live with. My friend experiences severe bladder pain and needs to get up to the loo around a dozen times a night. Daytime visits to the loo are a frequent necessity. I've lost count of the number of GP and hospital appointments involved. Also a range of medication which has not helped. However, fairly recently a consultant has prescribed medication which is helping. My friend is like you, she cannot eat certain foods because of the pain, inconvenience and tiredness caused by them.