Asking for hand in marriage

Oops, sorry! I see you mean single or widowed mums and I took it to mean everyone!

Thank you all for your replies…and engagement stories 😀

Upon being asked, my father looked at my husband-to-be very doubtfully and said "I suppose you know what you are doing?"

My DIL asked me, if I thought she could make my son happy, as she already had a teenage son and did not want more children.

I said that he had often said he did not particularly want children and advised her to talk to him about it. I also told her, that whether they did or did not have a child or children, was their business entirely, and neither my husband nor I would try to influence them, nor criticise the decision they came to.

No, women are not possessions, but surely we are being a little too women's lib if we throw all old traditions out of the window?

Would the wedding service not be extremely boring if we revised it so completely that no-one promised to love and cherish their spouse in sickness or in health etc.?

surely we are being a little too women's lib if we throw all old traditions out of the window? I think so AuntieE.

No

It would be a shame if all old traditions disappeared.

My DS asked both his prospective PiL and outlined how he would commit to supporting their daughter, 20 years ago.

My first DH spoke with my DF after he’d bought the ring. It was a respect thing.

First husband asked my dad ‘for my hand in marriage’. Wish he’d refused, particularly as I later discovered dad had never liked him.
DS did phone me from holiday in Thailand to say he was about to propose to his GF, which I thought was rather lovely of him.

My DH mentioned marriage to my dad one evening when they were out for a pint, and my dad said that was fine, but he didn’t know what then boyfriend saw in me. DH was unwise enough to tell me that!

Our DS asked his future FIL for our DIL’s hand in marriage. He (the FIL) thought it was wonderful.

A woman is not property. Only she gives herself permission to marry. Lot’s of unsavory practices stem from “tradition”. Doesn’t make it okay. I find it a crude thing to do tbh.

I have an older cousin. Many years ago her long-term boyfriend asked for a meeting with her and her parents, my aunt and uncle, to discuss his proposal of marriage.
We were told later he'd brought his bank statements and assured them he was in a good position to be able to support their daughter and a family.
They were very impressed with how seriously he was taking his responsibilities.
(They're still married now).

ViceVersa

Not as such, my daughter's now husband did come to see us before he asked her to marry him, and said he knew she wouldn't want him to ask for our 'permission', as she's nobody's property, but he just wanted to know that we were happy with it, which I thought was quite sweet.

Our future SiL did similar.

My daughter's long term live in boyfriend asked me if he could ask my daughter to marry him. My answer? 'no problem, once you get a job'. He had been unemployed for quite a while. He now has a full time job so I'll wait and see.