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My DS2 would have been 30 tomorrow

(121 Posts)
phoenix Sun 28-Apr-19 17:17:34

Hello all, and sending good wishes.

Feeling a bit low, DS2 took his own life aged 19, in 2008.

As OP says, tomorrow would have been his 30th birthday. Remembering what I was doing 30 years ago today (jogging up and down the corridor in the maternity unit, trying to get things "going" so that I didn't have to go to be induced the next morning! grin)

But also wondering about what might have been. Would he be married, with children of his own? He and his dear friend Theresa used to joke that if neither of them were married or in a relationship by 30, then they may as well marry each other!I

I miss him, the person that he was, and the one he might have become.

Always loving you, my darling boy.

kittylester Sun 28-Apr-19 17:22:28

(((Hugs))). I have no words that will help phoenix.

silverlining48 Sun 28-Apr-19 17:27:27

So very sad and more than Understandable Phoenix. I don’t think it’s possible to ever truly get over something as sad as this. You must miss him so much.
Hope you have something planned for tomorrow.
Thinking of you bothx

NanKate Sun 28-Apr-19 17:28:59

How desperately sad Phoenix. Whether your son had some sort of mental illness like my DS I don’t know, but so many young men and women take their own lives. If only we knew the answer to saving them.

I was lucky, but still have my phone on 24 hours just in case things start sliding downwards again.

I do hope you can celebrate/remember the birthday of your boy tomorrow.


Charleygirl5 Sun 28-Apr-19 17:30:43

very difficult flowers

Willow500 Sun 28-Apr-19 17:32:40

Thinking of you Phoenix - your son will always be 19 in your mind but it won't stop you thinking of what might have been. I have two friends who have both lost their adult children - I know how hard it is for them flowers

Anniebach Sun 28-Apr-19 17:42:08

Phoenix, I send you love and understanding x

Bellasnana Sun 28-Apr-19 17:44:33

phoenix, my heart hurts for

phoenix Sun 28-Apr-19 17:44:53

Thank you all for the posts, they are appreciated.

dragonfly46 Sun 28-Apr-19 17:46:29

Phoenix I have no words just gentle (((Hugs))) and flowers.

MawBroonsback Sun 28-Apr-19 17:47:06

flowers Phoenix
For 46 years I have looked at other little boys/bigger boys/young men/men the age of my eldest SIL/all 3 of my daughters as they have grown up and just wondered -
What would my first child, our little boy who lived just short of a month have been like? What would he have become, how different might our lives have been?
Who knows what the future might have held for them?
Those happy memories of his birth, of childhood birthday parties- nobody can take those away from you .
Of course you miss him flowers

Luckygirl Sun 28-Apr-19 17:47:31

flowers - a difficult day for you full of what might have been. So hard for you. I am sure that the love he received from you was the centre of his life. You could do no more than that. Mental illness is so cruel and its seriousness so often underestimated. I am holding you in my thoughts today.

crazyH Sun 28-Apr-19 17:48:41

Phoenix , thinking of you flowers

ninathenana Sun 28-Apr-19 17:54:15

thanks phoenix
So sad when you loose someone so young and you can only imagine what their life would have been.

kathsue Sun 28-Apr-19 18:03:42

flowers phoenix. My DD took her own life aged 24 in 2006.
A few weeks ago I met a man who was her best friend at school. He's now approaching 40, married with 4 children. I was happy for him but it really brought home to me what might have been and what I've lost.

glammanana Sun 28-Apr-19 18:14:18

Phoenix sending you heartfelt hugs. xx

seacliff Sun 28-Apr-19 18:19:32

It must be the very worst unimaginable loss, your own child. I feel for you Phoenix flowers

Bibbity Sun 28-Apr-19 18:19:35

Im so sorry for everyone’s loss.

ginny Sun 28-Apr-19 18:44:59


Kittye Sun 28-Apr-19 18:45:45

Don’t know what to say as I can’t imagine what you’re going through but sending you a hug xx

Doodle Sun 28-Apr-19 18:58:32

phoenix I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you move past such a loss and I don’t think you do, just find a way to carry on over time. You mention him often (I don’t mean that in a bad way) so he is obviously still very much loved and close to your heart. So, so sorry flowers

1inamillion Sun 28-Apr-19 19:01:16

💐 Phoenix so hard for you
My first cousin lost her son when he took his own life aged 21, then she lost her only brother in similar circumstances aged 38. Such anguish, it is heartbreaking.

Wobbles Sun 28-Apr-19 19:04:45

My heart goes out to you Phoenix Sending hugs

cornergran Sun 28-Apr-19 19:05:28

I have no words to help phoenix so sending love and a gentle hug. Be kind to yourself.

Wobbles Sun 28-Apr-19 19:06:25

To you too kathsue flowers