Sunday, bloody Sunday!

I still have my DH so shouldn't really add my two penneth but I have always hated Sundays even as a child.

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer it was the one day it really prayed on my mind. Friends were really good and knowing this would invite my for walks just to get me out.

It is not just that others are doing things as a family - I could do things with DH - it is just the whole atmosphere of Sunday that I feel amiss. I wish I had a belief then I could at least go to church but I tried that and it didn't help.

I so totally agree with you Maw. I've spent many years on my own and Sunday is the worst. Of course we can find things to do. But who wants to be the one walking around a museum on their own, watching the couples and families. Who wants to be the +1 with people wanting to be "kind", the adjunct to the family. If anything it exacerbates your solitary status. Its so much easier in the week.

I am a member of a number of Meet-up groups ( an app for social or special interest groups so people can get together locally) and often go for lunch with some of them on a Sunday. There are thousands of groups around the country and I
Ike dinning groups so I can go out for meals and chat to people. Some are for single people but others are for anyone who shares a common interest.

Anyone interested, just search online.

For me, the worst was when I first came to England and had been dumped by the young man I had followed here. I would have some conversation with my work colleagues but come Friday afternoon... I spoke to one from Friday after work until Monday 9 am.
Couldn’t telephone my parents as the cost was prohibitive. Sister loathed me (still does) and had no phone anyway... it was awful.
Our church has a group of singles who lunch together on a Sunday - they are either widowed,, divorced or single, but at least they have something to do, to look forward to.
I sympathise totally and hope you find some others like you.

?spoke to no one...

It's Saturdays that I can't stand. At least a Sunday is nearer to a normal weekday.
Sunday I can watch repeats of the lengthy Catherine Cookson dramas, 3 to 4hrs long, which I don't mind, then over to the antiques and midwives, then Jane McDonald, so that's the afternoon and evening sorted with the next day being a normal weekday.

This is how I get through a Sunday. I've been widowed a long time though but it's still not nice and can understand those whose losses are still fresh in your minds.
Winters are by far the worst as at least for the time being we have the light nights---longer days.

Thinking about everyone on their own and feeling lonely. Now places are opening up after this dreadful year you will be able to get out more. See family and friends by making more arrangements to go out with them. At home leave jobs to do on Sunday to keep busy and break the time up. Consider a change in your usual routine and hopefully the weather will pick up. ?

I also find Sunday’s difficult since I lost my husband a few months ago. Also, and I know it’s selfish, but I am almost dreading the end of lockdown, don’t shout at me I know it’s wrong! Friends tell me how they are going out and about, eating out etc. I know I will really miss all the things we used to do and will have to get used to going out my own. I don’t know anyone in the same position as me, all my friends are couples and although family live nearby they all work full time so I can’t see them as much as I like.

I’m having a bad day today, so just feeling sorry for myself....I need to give myself a pep talk!

For you Nanny Dee

Not a widow, but was left in tatters by my long term partner of 17 years cgeating om me, saying he no longer loved me and moving out.

My self esteem and confidence at rock bottom made me feel worthless, but I clawed my self out of the pit and joined groups , turned up at the opening of an envelope, and still made no friends as everyone was part of a couple, have very little family.

In lockdown I felt the same as everyone else, as locjdown is lifting I am very aware there is no one eager to see or meet up with me to have coffee, walks etc and like many of you everything is done alone.

My ex used to work weekends, sundays where never that bad, lonely in a different way, I knew he was coming home and had that to look forward too.

I understand where you are coming from

This is a sad thread and I am sorry to hear so a many of you are lonely. I am not lonely as I am lucky enough to still have my DH with me but, in fact, we both dislike Sundays and bank holidays and often ask ourselves why, so it is not only you singletons who have the problem. We rarely go out on a Sunday as many places are crowded with families with their children, Sunday meals out in crowded restaurants do not appeal and DH does not see the point of walking for the sake of it. We do have friends but most are occupied with family at weekends and our family is not local, so no help there. I don't know what the answer is. It is such a shame that the churches cannot provide a solution as it is supposed to be their day after all. If I was on my own I think I would do as someone has suggested - put a notice on a local FB page and get a group of lonelies together for morning coffee, afternoon tea or just a walk. Worth a try. There are others out there feeling just as lonely as you.

It’s not really a case of “you singletons” NotTooOld
As you may have noticed the thread is on the Bereavement forum. You still have your husband so there are few points we have in common. To lose one’s life partner is like losing a limb, a part of yourself.
I certainly don’t think of myself as a “singleton” and there’s more to bear in mind than looking for a group of “lonelies for coffee, afternoon tea or a walk”

Beechnut

Yes Maw I do. I find around late afternoon to early evening the worst. It also doesn’t help that DH died on a Sunday. I do my food shop on a Friday, mostly stay at home Saturday and Sunday and by then I’ve had enough and go out somewhere, anywhere on a Monday just to feel normal.

Maybe this is trite, but could you do your food shop on a Sunday instead? Change up the routine a little bit

Does anybody else find Sundays the worst when you are on
your own?
Maw No idea of your circumstances , but have you considered a retirement village, or whatever they're called your way.?
Not for everyone and not for me, but just a thought!
Your thread title reminded me of that (old) UKTV series "Hancock's Half Hour", or was that the radio version, showing how Tony, Bill (kerr) and Hattie spent a wet Sunday afternoon cooped up indoors in Cheam!
Always funny!
Good Health
OoRoo

It’s something we widows just cannot change. We miss the one person who knew us through and through, and inside out! The one person who we could say anything to.

I sometimes think of it as Sad Sunday. It is the worst day of the week.
I am quite happy to toddle around on my own on all the other days and stop off and have a coffee but on Sunday it feels wrong and I mostly stay at home.
Comforting to know I'm not alone in finding Sundays a bit lonely.

Rufus2

^Does anybody else find Sundays the worst when you are on^
your own?
Maw No idea of your circumstances , but have you considered a retirement village, or whatever they're called your way.?
Not for everyone and not for me, but just a thought!
Your thread title reminded me of that (old) UKTV series "Hancock's Half Hour", or was that the radio version, showing how Tony, Bill (kerr) and Hattie spent a wet Sunday afternoon cooped up indoors in Cheam!
Always funny!
Good Health
OoRoo

No Rufus I have emphatically not considered a “Retirement village” Whyever would I?
My “circumstances” as you describe them are that my husband died of multiple organ failure in November 2017 after a long period of poor health.

It’s something we widows just cannot change
Shrub Nor we widowers, but I'm not too sure about the last bit!
I know what you mean, but during 62years of marriage I still had to tread carefully!
Cheers .

I’m spending this Bloody Sunday sitting in DD’s local hospital waiting for a procedure on my heart tomorrow. Having cared for DH for many years during his many illnesses, I thought I was coping reasonably well with grief following his death.

Out of the blue last Wednesday it became apparent that my breathing difficulties were not just a bad case of hay fever!!!

DD and her family are being wonderful but how I miss the other half of me giving me a hug and whispering, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,’ just as I did for him so many times.

merlot, I'm so sorry to heart of your condition. I hope all goes well tomorrow. ?

I think some posters have missed the point of Maw post, seeing it on the Bereavement thread, should make it obvious to those reading, what she means.

I think, Shrub's post has hit the nail on the head.

So sorry Merlotgran, I’ve endured a few medical procedures on my own now. Here is a virtual hug and I hope it goes well.

I’ve always hated Sundays and Bank Holiday weekends. I try to arrange something even if it’s only a couple of hours to break the day up. Our U3A once a month Sunday lunch is starting again at the end of this month and I also volunteer for the monthly litter pick. These activities help a lot.

merlotgran I hope it all goes well tomorrow. I understand how you feel as I felt the same when I went through my cancer treatment.
My children were very supportive but it's not the same without your DH.

Good luck merlot - hope it all goes well tomorrow.

I have been for a few medical things since my OH died and it is hard to be without the person who would understand - not that the poor man understood very much during his latter years. The support of my DDs is very precious to me, but, as others have said, it is not like having your life's partner propping you up.

I agree MawBe that Sundays are a weird type of day. Dear late husband used to work Sunday-Thursday so they've always been a challenge but now are so much worse, especially if they precede a Bank Holiday.

I coped by changing my routine. I often go for a solitary drive if the weather is fine (mainly to keep the battery topped up) and then straight on to the weekly shop. It's a bit quieter than Friday/Saturday and is bearable. During the summer months I mow the lawn and then sit back with the knitting or the newspaper.

It's keeping busy which helps but it has to be said that there's a different 'feel' to Sundays which I can't quite put my finger on. I try to remind myself that there are others who are worse off and that there are people in the world who care for me but it's difficult sometimes.