OH with end-stage PD is at home and we can only manage with live-in care. Finding this at a price that does not totally bankrupt us is an on-going challenge and a continuous day and night headache.
Here's the problem - and I duck below parapet here - my OH will not accept a black carer. I know, I know, it is dreadful and so embarrassing for me when I have to have this discussion with care agencies.
He is/was not a racist man - but he was brought up in a place where he has terrible memories of race riots etc. as a young child. His father was also a raving racist and Enoch Powell supporter.
He has not been like this throughout his adult life, but now that he is suffering with intermittent paranoia from his illness and the drugs he has to take, this unfortunate prejudice has reared its head.
He worked in the NHS and had many colleagues who were black of course, but this current problem is a result of his illness. When we had a Bulgarian Turkish carer, he would wake at night thinking she was a communist spy!
I am tearing my hair out with this as so many of the carers on the agencies' books are from Africa or British people of African heritage.
I have just had a firm (but I hope not threatening) conversation with him and said that he may have to be more flexible if he wants to stay at home - I know his behaviour is caused by the illness, but I am in an impossible situation. I do not want to provoke a worsening of his paranoia, but I am up against a brick wall here.
Luckygirl Fri 30-Aug-19 13:54:47
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