Is there a 'right age' to get married?

harri

Only just caught up with this thread.
Bags the 'acknowledgement' is to the very many people who mention his age and how young he is to be getting married. In an age when more people are either choosing not to marry, or to marry much later in life he thinks that he's in a minority.

Perhaps he is politely acknowledging their concern, rather than his own. I hope so and, since you say be and his partner are committed, I expect so too .

Can't help wondering why people feel the need to make such comments, but I'm often baffled by other people so hey ho! He's an adult. What more do they want?

When absentdaughter wanted to marry at the age of 17 to a man a few years older than her who lived the other side of the world and whom she hadn't known very long, I was concerned. I told her my thoughts and concerns – that the 20s are a time in most people's lives when they sort out what they really want about themselves and other people and change a great deal from the people they were in their teens. She still wanted to go ahead, so I signed the paper and happily did supportive to the best of my ability. The marriage didn't work out – I don't think I have ever said, "I told you so" – and they remain in contact because they have lovely son in common.

At the time, my every instinct was "Of course she is far too bloody young to get married" but I have never forgotten my uncle Joe who married my aunty Doris when she was only 16 and he was probably not much older, saying that if he had his time all over again, he would do the same thing and marry her.

My recently married grandson is 27 and his lovely wife is a bit younger, but they have lived together for about six years and have two little girls.
My oldest grand-daughter is 25 and she has also lived with her fiance for about four years and they too have two little girls.
Two others of my five grand-daughters are 21 and 20, both engaged to boys they met at school in their mid-teens.
I am very happy about all these relationships and really believe they will last the course.
My daughter was 34 when she finally got married - her husband was 26 and became step-father to her four children. They are blissfully happy - he was obviously very mature.
I have known people who married somebody they met at junior school and stayed married for more than 50 years. I have known other people who delayed marriage until their late thirties and still made terrible mistakes.
So,no, age does not matter, just meeting the right person and knowing that not marrying them is unthinkable.

Would you have listened to them though Greatnan?

Yes, I think I would -I just needed a reason to call if off!

I really have doubts about that, really One of our daughters knew she was making a big mistake, and we told her she should call it off, and that we would take the flack with her, irrespective of cost, etc. But she went ahead anyway.

Knowing your rebellious streak Greatnan, you might well have gone ahead anyway???

Agreed though - age is irrelevant- if it is right, it's right. I got married aged barely 20 to a man I only knew for a few months, and abroad, away from family and friends. Could have been a disaster- 41 years later we laugh at our naivety

No, Granjura, you are quite wrong in this instance. I knew I was not in love with him but I couldn't face letting him down because he was a nice man and he was very much in love with me. I didn't have a rebellious streak as a teenager - I didn't smoke, drink, or have sex with my boyfriends. It took me 20 years to stand up for myself.

At 20, I met my future husband in the November, got engaged 6months later in May and married the following March, when I was 21. We have now been married over 42years, with 2 married daughters & 4 grandchildren, the first of whom was born when I was 46. No, I don't believe I was too young, but times were quite different in 1970. Fewer people went on to University, we could walk into any good job and earn enough to afford a reasonable start in married life. Our expectations were for simple, useful wedding presents - NO 'White Goods', TVs, or £1000+ wedding dresses either. If we wanted furniture etc we saved for it and enjoyed buying it without being in debt over it. Everyone is different and no-one can foresee the future.