Do we tend to "spoil" our [adult] children?

Perhaps if our children 'expect' to be subsidised by their parents the parents should ask themselves why? Maybe they have been like an old neighbour of mine who actually used money as a way of controlling her married children. She just didn't want to let go so ensured they were still dependent on her financially.

Another thought is that a parent may be too keen to help and not encourage their child to manage within their own means. It is natural to want the best for our children but sometimes it is in the child's interest to go without in order to have the satisfaction of being independent.

Or maybe it is just that we never had any help, financial, emotional or practical and therefore think we are happier as everything we have we have worked for ourselves?

I have only just noticed this thread.
Parents need to have enough savings and income to cover their own needs.
If you have got plenty to live on by all means hand over spare money to your children and make their lives as comfortable as possible.
There is no use in being the richest man / woman in the grave yard.

Frank

Well said, Frank!

Yes, i agree too.

Passed a milestone the other day. DGD and boy friend took my husband and me out for a meal. How's that! Cast your bread upon the waters.........

Frank, I really like your post of yesterday at 22.36.

As my dad used to say: 'There are no pockets in a shroud.'

Better to give with a warm hand than a cold one.

DD1's washing machine croaked this morning. I didn't hesitate to help her out because she's a single mum, doing a great job of bringing up two wonderful grandsons and her hours have just been cut at work. She is insisting she pay me back at the end of the month. If she can afford it, I'll accept it. If not? What are mums for?

DS has been laid off at work again, so a few big bags of shopping headed his way this morning, until unemployment benefit kicks in. Aldi's is the best place for big bags of shopping, so while there I treated myself to a beautiful bunch of purple stocks. Lovely scent, they have.
Needs must, etc.

OMG, Marelli, I read that as 'purple socks' !

anno! I don't know if a big bunch of purple socks would have a lovely scent....especially if they belonged to the men in our family!