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Time for another great Gransnet story!

(268 Posts)
CariGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 17-Mar-20 10:39:32

William Shakespeare is one of several writers who produced great works when stuck behind closed doors (he was in quarantine when he wrote King Lear.)

With our own 'Fifty Shades of Grey Hair' - see classics for the thread - firmly in mind, we thought it might be time for us to gather together and write a new great work between us. Who wants to start?!

trisher Wed 25-Mar-20 18:34:45

and spending the last few years carousing in the Gransnet bars hadn't helped. "Come over here my dear," she cried sweetly "I have something to show you."

Calendargirl Wed 25-Mar-20 19:15:28

Her curiosity piqued, the lovely young maiden went over to her, only, oh horror of horrors.....

Jane10 Wed 25-Mar-20 21:54:00

It was her pin up photo of Rufus2 the Gransnet heartthrob. 'Just look at him' she drawled, 'He's just so lovely and Australian. Look at the way he's...'

May7 Wed 25-Mar-20 23:24:06

bobbing his corks. For he once was a jolly swagman camped by a billa bong under the shade of a coolibah tree. So he sang as he watched and he waited till his billy..

Calendargirl Thu 26-Mar-20 06:43:23

boiled over, and scalded his didgeridoo.

fatgran57 Thu 26-Mar-20 06:43:27

boiled, but the dreaded Moderators were watching also and Rufus2 was quickly surrounded by a

May7 Thu 26-Mar-20 07:05:05

calendergirl grin

BoadiceaJones Thu 26-Mar-20 07:25:13

gang of bushrangers, led by a strange figure, head encased in a discarded baked-bean tin.

BoadiceaJones Thu 26-Mar-20 07:39:15

The man, for such it was, uttered a chilling phrase: "Gidday cobber, yer bog rolls or your life", all the while brandishing a wilted cabbage in one hand, and a vegemite sandwich in the other. Our hero, in one mighty leap,

Annaram1 Thu 26-Mar-20 10:42:02

Bowled him over into a heap of horse poo, which unfortunately clogged up his didgeridoo. Our hero, smitten by a sudden remorse, helped him up and cleaned him down with the wilted cabbage and said "Have you seen my..."

henetha Thu 26-Mar-20 10:56:48

"Authentic aborigine dot paintings? You can have one for a hundred dollars, or in exchange for ......"

Jane10 Thu 26-Mar-20 15:55:30

A partridge in a pear tree. 'Strewth,' he said. 'I haven't seen one of those since that time when...'

May7 Thu 26-Mar-20 16:41:35

Seven 7 swans were swimming and 6 geese where laying. I think I'll just....

Calendargirl Thu 26-Mar-20 18:21:28

do a bit of prospecting, hoping to find the five gold rings.

CherryCezzy Thu 26-Mar-20 20:27:23

So I grabbed my metal detector and went on my way. I wandered so many fields and clambered awkwardly over many hedges and almost gave up when suddenly the detector startled me. I looked down and caught a glint of something small and shiny peeking through the grass. I bent down slowly and took the shining item in my hand

Jane10 Thu 26-Mar-20 20:59:41

It wriggled slightly, unfurled and lay in my hand looking up at me. 'I am a genie,' the tiny shiny creature said. 'I can grant one small wish. What will it be?'

Txquiltz Thu 26-Mar-20 21:12:56

After a few moments of deep thought the wish was obvious, I want nothing more than eternal wisdom so all people will stand in awe of me. I shall rule!

Calendargirl Thu 26-Mar-20 21:49:02

“You don’t want much, do you? I said one small wish.”

CherryCezzy Thu 26-Mar-20 21:50:16

Yes, yes I will rule, I will rule roughshod over this scourge that is ravaging the peoples of this world. The sublime wisdom I have will find the cure but I will have the power to ...

May7 Thu 26-Mar-20 21:51:41

However as with all rulers power often coincides with greed so our Hero began to gather up all the ...

May7 Thu 26-Mar-20 21:53:46

Sorry wasnt quick enough back to Cherrychezzy

Jane10 Thu 26-Mar-20 22:25:32

Power the tiny creature could grant him. It was only enough to...

BoadiceaJones Thu 26-Mar-20 23:56:17

illuminate a 60 watt light bulb. That wasn't enough to fire up his electric car. Or his flashlight. so he could continue on his journey. Panic-stricken, he stumbled out into the darkness, where he was enshrouded in the evil-smelling gloom. Three paces he took, when suddenly

BradfordLass73 Fri 27-Mar-20 00:48:34

She found herself in a strange land.

'Forsooth Maiden,' said a voice, 'thou hast a strange countenance, from whence cometh thou?'

Calendargirl Fri 27-Mar-20 06:59:10

“Have you been wafted here from Paradise?”

“Nah, Luton Airport!”