Time for another great Gransnet story!

and spending the last few years carousing in the Gransnet bars hadn't helped. "Come over here my dear," she cried sweetly "I have something to show you."

Her curiosity piqued, the lovely young maiden went over to her, only, oh horror of horrors.....

It was her pin up photo of Rufus2 the Gransnet heartthrob. 'Just look at him' she drawled, 'He's just so lovely and Australian. Look at the way he's...'

bobbing his corks. For he once was a jolly swagman camped by a billa bong under the shade of a coolibah tree. So he sang as he watched and he waited till his billy..

boiled over, and scalded his didgeridoo.

boiled, but the dreaded Moderators were watching also and Rufus2 was quickly surrounded by a

calendergirl

gang of bushrangers, led by a strange figure, head encased in a discarded baked-bean tin.

The man, for such it was, uttered a chilling phrase: "Gidday cobber, yer bog rolls or your life", all the while brandishing a wilted cabbage in one hand, and a vegemite sandwich in the other. Our hero, in one mighty leap,

Bowled him over into a heap of horse poo, which unfortunately clogged up his didgeridoo. Our hero, smitten by a sudden remorse, helped him up and cleaned him down with the wilted cabbage and said "Have you seen my..."

"Authentic aborigine dot paintings? You can have one for a hundred dollars, or in exchange for ......"

A partridge in a pear tree. 'Strewth,' he said. 'I haven't seen one of those since that time when...'

Seven 7 swans were swimming and 6 geese where laying. I think I'll just....

do a bit of prospecting, hoping to find the five gold rings.

So I grabbed my metal detector and went on my way. I wandered so many fields and clambered awkwardly over many hedges and almost gave up when suddenly the detector startled me. I looked down and caught a glint of something small and shiny peeking through the grass. I bent down slowly and took the shining item in my hand

It wriggled slightly, unfurled and lay in my hand looking up at me. 'I am a genie,' the tiny shiny creature said. 'I can grant one small wish. What will it be?'

After a few moments of deep thought the wish was obvious, I want nothing more than eternal wisdom so all people will stand in awe of me. I shall rule!

“You don’t want much, do you? I said one small wish.”

Yes, yes I will rule, I will rule roughshod over this scourge that is ravaging the peoples of this world. The sublime wisdom I have will find the cure but I will have the power to ...

However as with all rulers power often coincides with greed so our Hero began to gather up all the ...

Sorry wasnt quick enough back to Cherrychezzy

Power the tiny creature could grant him. It was only enough to...

illuminate a 60 watt light bulb. That wasn't enough to fire up his electric car. Or his flashlight. so he could continue on his journey. Panic-stricken, he stumbled out into the darkness, where he was enshrouded in the evil-smelling gloom. Three paces he took, when suddenly

She found herself in a strange land.

'Forsooth Maiden,' said a voice, 'thou hast a strange countenance, from whence cometh thou?'

“Have you been wafted here from Paradise?”

“Nah, Luton Airport!”