The Argy Bar and Tea Room

You look lovely in a potato sack AGA, almost as if it was made for you?!

Lemongrove it was whelks.

It was grandmajet. Thor makes all my clothes. He is very good with his needle.

Shhh BigBertha. Don’t mention such unrefained things in here, please.

You can mention whelks in the Argy Bar BigBertha. Nothing refained about the crowd down there.

Hairdos, AGA ?
I thought they'd be wearing hets?

Auditions coming along nicely, thanks, now that I have finally found out how many people we need. Queues of people willing to blow their own trumpets, it would appear, but I have told them that we don't need blowers or suckers.
Lots of suggestions that they play me their Air, on a G-String: that got Thor up those outside stairs at a rate of knots.

Back later.

Just walking past to see if the roof top garden is open yet...looks like things are coming along very nicely. I can see a few palm trees blowing in the wind but there’s a bit of a racket coming from above ...
when’s the grand opening please and is it by invitation only ?
I want to be first up there and grab the best seats
Just need to brush up on my afternoon tea etiquette rules first ..

Yes, Doodle, when are we opening? Everything looks shipshape and Bristol fashion to me. Oh, here comes Thor again. Looking for fashionable bristols.

What do you think Gary shall we go for a big reopening Thursday with it being bank holiday this weekend we could get a lot of trade. How’s the orchestra coming on?
I’ve got an arrangement with the local supermarket for their out of date artisan bread to make our finger sandwiches with. Anyone know where I can get a supply of fingers from ?

Who’s You may ask is Gary? He is our new waiter for the Tea lounge. Slick back hair, smarmy smile and perfect for wooing the ladies. ?

(How’s that for an impromptu explanation for typing Gary instead of gang ?)

That racket, brook was our auditions....
Our Palm Court string quartet is complete?
The Phil family pitched up in its entirety. Chose two in the end, Berlin and L.A, both on the fiddle so they should feel at home.
A cellist, says he shared a tutor with Prince Charles (?a bit of a prime donna IMO, need to watch this one).
A viola player, who keeps annoying the Phils by saying "anyway, mine's bigger than yours".
Got shot, PDQ, of the applicant who announced that he used to be with Covent Garden until Lockdown. Told him we didn't need a fruit and veg merchant, thank you very much, unless he could offer us strawberries at a decnt price.
Thought we could put grandmajet and her ukulele on the subs bench - she will be busy hostessing!

They assure me that they can come down to our level play suitable music and are happy to do it for nothing in exchange for sustenance of the highest order.

Thursday it is then. With Thor in his frilly pinny and grinning Gary, the laydees will flock in.
We should get some posters of them with their buns on display, and stick them up around the backstreets of gransnet.

grandmajet good idea. These prim ladies who lunch always like a bit on the side ?

Oooh a bit on the side Doodle ... rest assured there won’t be any hanky panky going on upstairs in the tea garden ..

Footsie under the lace tablecloth?

Maybe a few demure come-hither looks and coquettish fluttering of the eyelashes ..

Perhaps we should provide hand fans for the more sky ladies to flutter provocatively ?

Shy not sky ?

As we will be keeping the Argy Bar going and the Tea Room we will need to be quick change artists. Demure skirts and blouses in the tea room and our usual micro skirts and boob tubes in the bar.
We need to be careful we don't get mixed up and appear in the tea room showing our frillies and a lot of bazoom.
I have ordered smelling salts just in case.

We could have velcro on our tearoom demure gear, and just rip them off when we go downstairs, like Buck’s Fizz.
We will have to watch our language in the tearoom. Some people have said we can be a little ‘coarse’ in the Argy. They can ??.

Velcro is a good idea. We will need to use our refained voices in the Tea Room and call the ladies Madame.
It will be hard to remember not to say "don't forget to pay you scumbags!" as this is a term of endearment we use in the bar.

If it gets a bit uncouth downstairs or up, we'll just let the (Incredible❤️) String Band play a bit louder.
Word about the auditions clearly spread. There was a queue of applicants this am, some I recognise from the Underground (trains, not nefarious deeds), busking in the corridors. I have taken a couple more on as spares, since they are 'resting' from the West End theatre establishments.
Good news - they know all the 'songs from the shows'.
Less good news - I have let them bring their faithful and patient hounds. Always a good move, we may get more tips.

Hope you didn't mind......

The hounds can provide the singing ixion. I am bringing my balalaika to add some class to the proceedings. I will wear a balaclava so they don't recognise me as a waitress.

Are bookings being taken yet and what delicious delights are on the menu?

You can book now. Thor and I have baked scones with cream from Ernie's dairy. There will be Petit Fours maybe even Petit fives.
It will be a pleasure to see you Madame.