Nicknames for neighbours

Georgesgran we too have Clampetts near us of which the husband is Officer * a rude play on name as he thinks he is on patrol in the street but could also be known as fu**wits ?
Help me get away from here soon I’m being driven crazy with neighbours.

Because my husband always refers to two sisters as 'fat bird' and 'skinny bird', I find myself unable to remember their proper names.

There is only one neighbour who we do not like and I can't repeat his nickname in case I offend anyone but when we went for our vaccinations, my OH spotted the neighbour's car and said 'oh there's the twatmobile'.

We used to have a Quick Walker neighbour, christened by dh. She was always hurrying off to play tennis in her white kit.
She’s such a very poor old thing now, though - it’s very sad.

We have a Mrs. Bouquet (Bucket).

Also a Happy Harry (not).

And The Rucksack Couple.

The Pharmacists, both worked for Boots.

Plus The Vicar’s Wife.

At the back of us we have fat arse because it’s always hanging out his pants. Around the corner we have a hill Billy scruffy family a nice house but they are a brick short of a full load. The show off he lets the whole drive know he is going fishing diving camping whatever. The pain in the arse who has about six vehicles taking up road space constantly. The slapper lives down the road outside all day in pjs smoking cigarettes.
These are just the neighbours who are visible most days there are people in the close opposite who I have never seen.

We have a Baldrick. Not very kind of us, I suppose.
And now, I can’t help wondering what people call us!

I have Clampetts in my cul de sac too - but they’re lovely.
The family next door to me (the Fu*kwits) are not - 6 adults in the house, six cars, and a drive for only 2! Need I say more? Luckily, I’ve not had a run in with them over their careless parking, but other neighbours have.

We call the family opposite 'that lot' plus a few other choice names which are unprintable. Nothing but trouble.

We used to have Howard and Hilda - only people who watched Ever Decreasing Circles will get that. Couple who are never seen separately.

My son called one neighbour Mrs Clock, because when he saw her walking down the road in the morning he knew it was time to set off for school.

Witzend, that made us laugh!

My Grandma used to have a Mrs Buttocks. Every time they ended up having a chat in the village this lady would mention problems with her buttocks.

One day Grandma met up with this lady and accidentally called her, Mrs Buttocks. Don't think she mentioned them again.

As a child we had a Miss Prim Knickers next door. She was frightfully hoity toity.

My DS and DIL. called one of their neighbours “average dad”. Due I think to his fairly standard attire ! However he turned out to be anything but.....he’s an opera singer.

We have Lanky Man (very tall and thin)
The Louders (slightly deaf couple who ask others to speak up)
Walky, talky,smiley man (does all three)
The Old Man (he’s older than us)
Big skirt (always wears a large flowing skirt)
Used car salesman (car dealer)

‘Our friend’ (woman who chats but we don’t know her name)
Incidentally she calls us the Squirrel people to her DH as we occasionally have a chat about the squirrels in the park.

The man with the dog (again self explanatory)

Kitty I’d love to know what the neighbours on your road call you at one end and your friend at the other ?

The little grey man (everything he wears is grey or beige and his face and hair match, even his laundry is grey or beige) and the hippy.

Also the professor and the covidiot (arranged a street party mid lockdown).

And the street on the corner, with a rough around the edges family (lovely dog tho) are the Clampetts (the Beverly Hillbillies).

Friends of mine experienced a ghastly embarrassment over
nicknames they’d given, though it was acquaintances rather than close friends or neighbours.

They were enjoying a lie-in one Sunday morning when the doorbell went and their young son went to answer it.
‘Mum!’ he yelled at the top of his voice. ‘It’s boring Fred* and Miss Piggy!’ ?
*not his real name!
(Friends remained in bed, cowering under the covers.)

Our previous neighbours were lovely but for some reason my OH referred to the guy as the Bank Robber! No idea why. Over the road is known as the Roof Man as he’s always getting his roof fixed.

The chap across the road I call "Norman Evans," as in over the garden wall. Forever leaning on his wall ready to nail some unsuspecting soul. I have to time him when I nip around to the corner shop as many a time I was nearly taking root-----and I've always " got something in the oven " .
He'd talk a glass eye to sleep.

The "oddity" who lives alone and doesn't venture out. Nobody's seen him. I only got a glimpse a year ago when he moved in, not an old man. Keeps himself to himself

Until lockdown, when we got to know each other better, 3 of ours were known as Car showrooms (has 3 expensive cars on the front path), Night Nurse and the D-I-Yers. We now know their names.
To differentiate, we still have Sainsbury’s Chris and school-run Chris.
Only Car Showroom and Night Nurse were also used by any of our other neighbours.

FannyCornforth

The lunatics comprise of Her, the whippersnapper (he's 18) and the arsehole.

??? FC your post made me laugh, though I don’t have to live near them.

Ours is the firestarter always burning old bits of wood. Currently the old fencing he will not take it to the tip which is less than 10mins away. It was his daughter's old playhouse 2wks ago. Must admit been grateful for the rain he stays inside and no fires.

Mr. Perfect hedge and taxi man

Oh yes, kitty, DH has a one of those.
I call her his 'knock off' (I'm not as crude as I sound, honest!)

Dave the grave he’s an undertaker!

My friend and I live at different ends of one of the main thoroughfares in our village.

Between us, we have named

Jeremiah because he always looks so miserable,

Sinbad because she often wears a jumpsuit in really bright colours and gathered at the bottom,

The God Squad because there are lots of them who walk up to church holding their bibles

The walking pair as that's all they seem to do

That bloody woman - no explanation needed.

And, of course, there are the people we actually know the names of!

There are also 2 women who live in the cul de sac round the corner (separately!) who I call DH's friends as they always speak to him but not to me!

Puffing Billy. He has (apparently) emphysema yet still stands outside his door smoking and coughing fit to bust, come rain or shine at all hours.