Why report so much ?

Just don't ask me to play hockey or swim in an outdoor pool. I'm definitely a Gwendoline when it comes to that.

And torches to read our books by! Or use them to make spooky shapes on the walls ?

In my mind it was at times looking and sounding more like Grange Hill on a bad day.

Oh I loved Grange Hill.
I wonder if looking at different threads helps. I disagree with lots of things Urms says politically (sorry to single you out Urms) but I read the good morning threads (never post) and it shows a different view of people. There is another poster who I have 'clashed' with on a number of subjects but I have seen her give endless kind support on a support thread.

I havent explained that well but I know what I mean.

Galaxy that’s an astute observation. There are indeed many facets to people’s characters. Thank you for that post.
?

I know what you mean.

There's a poster I used to find terribly abrasive and troublemaking.

Then I realised, from a particular thread, that she's actually a terribly lonely woman. I find it easier to turn a blind eye to some of her behaviour now.

Group hug anyone? ??

Urmstongran

Galaxy that’s an astute observation. There are indeed many facets to people’s characters. Thank you for that post.
?

Like the facets of a jewel, sparkling.

Yet sometimes a jewel has a small flaw inside.

Yet sometimes that flaw can look good from some angles.

StarDreamer

Urmstongran

Galaxy that’s an astute observation. There are indeed many facets to people’s characters. Thank you for that post.
?

Like the facets of a jewel, sparkling.

Yet sometimes a jewel has a small flaw inside.

Yet sometimes that flaw can look good from some angles.

We all have flaws StarDreamer.

That's a lovely way of looking at things StarDreamer.

Right this wont do. Who wants to start a fight

No comment of mine was deleted. No warning given.
Was there an explanation Urms? Or just the usual 'guidelines breached' thing?

I'm not asking for the explanation, just would like to know if there was one.

I've said this before on here but everyone should consider that whoever they are replying to is a real person who has other stuff going on in their life. All this online chattery via forums and social media is pretty new and we have no idea the impact it has on people emotionally, either short term or long term.

I agree. I think that lies at the heart of a lot of the unpleasantness on here.

Many posters don't mean to be so unkind or hurtful but forget that the person they're insulting, belittling or ganging up against mercilessly is a real person with real worries and problems. They just see them as a name on a screen and probably behave towards them in a way they wouldn't dream of doing to someone in real life.
Many of them might be shocked if they realised the distress they had caused to a complete stranger.
That's one of the reasons reporting can be a good thing. It might bring home to some posters how unacceptable it is to personally attack a stranger on the Internet.

There will of course, be those who don't care or can't see out beyond their own views and opinions but I think most people on here have more emotional intelligence than that.

I have been wondering what this thread was all about ever since it was started. All became clear to me this morning.

MichaelGransnet said, about accusations of stalking and trolling,
"We didn't find any substance to these claims so we asked members to stop making them on the Talk boards."

The fact that someone feels upset, doesn't necessarily mean that anyone has caused it by doing something wrong.

The thing is, most of us who are regular users or even just regular readers, could give a list of 3 or 4 names of people who might be on 'that' list.

Not everyone who is opinionated is a bully. There are quite a few highly opinionated members who don't ever cross that line. I could also name them. Opinions are great! They engender discussion. I'm not offended by someone that completely disagrees with me. Each to their own.

I agree with Gagajo.

I have honestly fallen into the trap where I am passionate about something and have tried to show another person why their opinion is upsetting me or damaging to some other or group (obviously in my opinion)... and in honest discussion, can't hide my own feelings and accidentally caused offence by sharing them...

But that is not personal and I don't think it makes me or anyone else a bully purely by the strength of disagreement or being honest about our feelings.

What makes a bully are personal attacks, assumptions, name calling, telling you what you must think or feel, bringing things you have said across threads, following you to other subjects purely to disagree with you by name or quote and not everyone else who shares your view.

I am not surprised gransnet occasionally sees patterns in what people are reported for and who they are talking too when they are reported. Or patterns in who is reporting who across subjects continuously.

I also don't think those reporting are who the reported think they very often at all.

Re your post @ 11.44 FarNorth I find it reassuring that GNHQ investigate claims of stalking and trolling.

It's obvious if a posters words are being twisted because what has actually been said is there in black and white, for all to see. It's obvious if there's a personal attack for the same reason.

When it comes to accusations of stalking and trolling though, it isn't as clear cut. A poster may have an issue with someone else who happens to post on the same threads, who may not agree with them but that isn't stalking or trolling, even if it's reported as such.

As you say The fact that someone feels upset, doesn't necessarily mean that anyone has caused it by dong something wrong. There are some very emotive and for some, upsetting discussions here which is only to be expected, but they can be avoided.

A split personality? I don't think so.
People who claim to be have personal problems have all the more reason to understand how upsetting their deliberately unkind words can be.

I have honestly fallen into the trap where I am passionate about something and have tried to show another person why their opinion is upsetting me or damaging to some other or group (obviously in my opinion)... and in honest discussion, can't hide my own feelings and accidentally caused offence by sharing them...
But that is not personal and I don't think it makes me or anyone else a bully purely by the strength of disagreement or being honest about our feelings.

I agree. It's not that that makes a bully; but those who have been suspended or banned for bullying behaviours, know precisely what they were doing, to whom and the impact that their behaviour had on their victims and it would be disingenuous of them to deny the difference .
We all differ in our outlooks to various news items and personal situations; it's having the emotional intelligence to recognise that that lifts it above bullying.

Yes I agree with that eazybee

Chewbacca I don't know really how best to address your point.

One thing I do know is that disagreeing with someone is not bullying them.

If you want to directly talk about my suspension, I have already explained I wasn't suspended for bullying but for participating in arguments and my own paranoia and poor mental health due to undiagnosed hyperthyroidism making me believe I was being bullied and attacked.

Of course now I am well I have the clear perception to see whether I am actually being bullied and attacked and the strength to let it slide off my shoulders if it does happen.