Child free and smug

Galaxy

It is funny how different we all are, the last thing I would ever want is my children caring for me, that is just not what I want for them.

... by the law of averages, there will be a number of those breeders' children who end up working in the care sector (consultants / doctors / nurses / care workers ) and, possibly, giving the most intimate and personal end-of-life care to - again, possibly - the type of smug, self-satisfied individuals who appear to think having children denotes some kind of interiority...

... is what I meant Galaxy... it was an effort to convey the fact that we are all human and (I believe) as a society, all interdepend on each other in various ways to make it function. As opposed to the hedonistic lifestyle that these Instagrammers appear to be recommending.

It's almost like you look at a post / comment and think - hmm, let's see if I can pick some holes in it, if it doesn't align precisely with your world view.

My adult offspring emigrated - with my blessing - and even if he hadn't, in common with probably many others on here, I had no plans to rely on him for my care, or anything else, in my final years.

“I find the entire thing of pregnancy, birthing etc to be utterly sickening…” TheWeirdoAgain1
This is a good point and maybe more prevalent than we realise.
I saw a very graphic photo of a woman from the ‘business’ end in an exhibition recently having just delivered her baby and was taken aback.

Certainly if I had seen photos or videos like this as a child, it might have put me off. Ignorance can be bliss.

TheWeirdoAgain1

Animals/pets have always been my babies and always will be, not humans.

I find the entire thing of pregnancy, birthing etc. to be utterly sickening... (etc).

Animals also give birth, sometimes prolifically and messily.

Of course, animals usually don't have to make appointments with clinics - but if there are problems, we often do it for them.

Do you just not like humans full stop?

Yes I agree, regarding having adult children looking after one in old age is indeed not something I'd ever want and it certainly never crossed my mind as an impetus to have children in the first place.

Magenta8

It will never be my turn to be smug as I am not in a position to judge what other people do.

Well said!!

Sometimes it can be a defence mechanism because people can make very thoughtless comments to those who are childless or have one child.

It is not always through choice and those who become pregnant easily and who has several children should not assume it's that easy for others.

I'm 60, and never married or had kids by choice. I was 6 when I decided I'd never have kids and even if I ever married I'd STILL NOT have kids. It would have to be a 100% child-free life.
TheWeirdoAgain
😁 Chance would be a fine thing to conceive at 60 - but you never know!

Blimey, it's their private business and theirs only, isn't it?

I find the entire thing of pregnancy, birthing etc to be utterly sickening

Whilst others find it the most beautiful thing in the world.

My DS and his DP told us more than 20 years ago "don't look to us for grandchildren "

So we didn't. They travelled, worked, and enjoyed their friends' and siblings' children.

Then they emigrated to NZ and at ages 40 and 41 they told us they were expecting a baby.
We were thrilled but actually shocked as it was the last news we expected.
That surprise is now 13.

“I find the entire thing of pregnancy, birthing etc to be utterly sickening…”
TheWeirdoAgain1

I wonder what your mother thought about the process?
Yet somehow you are here on this Earth!

Perhaps the anti-breeders were married and the mother in law immediately said ‘ hello nice to meet you, and I hope you’re not going to keep me waiting for grandchildren like hubbies brother and his wife’ ! They’d been married 3 years, in their 20’s and were both building careers.

When you have such constant outside pressure you must start to respond with an ever increasing annoyance and determination to protest your own feelings.

I've always been and always will be a a very proud and honoured pet mum. TheWeirdoAgain
You call yourself a mum so you know about maternal feelings. I longed for a baby and was lucky enough to be able to have one. If there is no such longing, then so be it. There is no need to justify it or disparage parents. Live and let live.

Kandinsky

*I find the entire thing of pregnancy, birthing etc to be utterly sickening*

Whilst others find it the most beautiful thing in the world.

Then I am surprised you are on here. Surely you knew from the heading that it would be about pregnancy, birth etc.
It’s a good job your mother didn’t feel the same! Or is it??

I never wanted any children when I was in my teens,too busy enjoying myself and partying. We ended up with a bunch of them and I don’t regret it but equally I don’t think I would have regretted it if we hadn’t had any. You live your lives accordingly. I now have a load of grandchildren and great grandchildren which is lovely - all love and hugs and no responsibilities. We have a couple of cats who I adore,too. I don’t think about care homes and none of my children will be looking after me,either, thank you very much. We all kark it suddenly in our family.

Why the mother in law Whethertomorrow? Could just as easily have been their mother.

Parsley3

^I've always been and always will be a a very proud and honoured pet mum. TheWeirdoAgain^
You call yourself a mum so you know about maternal feelings. I longed for a baby and was lucky enough to be able to have one. If there is no such longing, then so be it. There is no need to justify it or disparage parents. Live and let live.

I agree wholeheartedly. It’s whatever’s best for the parents, but MOST OF ALL, for the child! I think it is better not to have children if you don’t want them. We wanted ours very much and were thrilled when grandchildren were added to the mix. Now there is a great grandchild too and it’s wonderful!
That said, my life does not revolve around them. We meet because we want to, not from duty and that is great. I have my own life (my husband died a few years ago) and they are an important part of it but I don’t depend on them.

I do have a family that know me and with whom I have shared memories but they are not children. Mr J and I are childless by choice but we very much have a loving and caring family around us. People refer to us as not having a family when they mean you don't have children. Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts and Uncles are family too.

Why are you judging them. A lady with whom I worked for many yeas said to me mother of three sons "Children ar
e no substitute for dogs" fine by me, each unto their own.

Dogs love you unconditionally 😁 🐶
Cats love themselves. 😾

Child free and smug...... some people are Child-obssessed and equally smug.
Once upon a time some people had children and some people didn't and that was just life and people didn't endlessly bang on about it.
Always with the exception that one had great sympathy with people who longed for children and unfortunately were unable to have them.
It takes all sorts.

...and of course whilst dogs have owners/parents, cats have staff, and they're prone to nag if their food isn't on their platters at the prescribed time The staff of course can be relplaced, two a penny, "I'll just go next door" is always at the fore in the cat brain. Never mind despite of their fickle nature, still love them.

I've known people who have had children and regret it . I have no children and I certainly don't regret it

I believe that to have children you should really want them as they are so demanding - not a fashion accessory or just a thing in a push chair where you can entertain them with a mobile phone

Am outraged at comments about cats. All our cats have been devoted to us and demonstrated that constantly over the years.
I like dogs too, wouldn't want one but wouldn't denigrate them either. 😾

Maybe the best thing is to avoid Instagram?! And pretend to be older and wiser? (Speaking personally here…;-))

My DD and her husband decided not to have children. I did not for one second miss not having grandchildren. What you don't have you don't miss. I fully accepted their decision based on their view there were too many of us already. When I see many young especially single parents (never seem to acknowledge there isa father somewhere) struggling with their children at times I wonder why they have had so many children. I would love a mercedes sports car but can't afford it so go for my old saloon just like having children, can't afford them, well don't have them or so many.