Funeral

Rocketstop2

Have you seen those 'Water cremations' ? Basically you are put in a vat of chemicals and sort of melted down.Yuck..I know I'd be dead...but still ..

I actually like that idea - I think it's good to be looking at alternatives to either burial or conventional cremations.
And I think it actually makes life easier for families if you have stated your wishes beforehand. Ok, so they don't have to follow your instructions to the letter, but at least it gives them something to work with. I know families who have struggled because they had no idea what sort of funeral the deceased would have wanted - whereas it would have given them some comfort to know that they were at least following their wishes and giving them the kind of send-off they would have wanted.

Do you ? Just shows that everyone is different and I agree, write down your wishes where possible !

We have just arranged cremation no service no fuss. I used the service for our Auntie a few years ago all done for us very straight forward.
We have told our family we did it to save them from having to do it. They are disappointed and don't consider it would be a fuss. It's done now I am sure when the time comes They will realise we saved them alot of hassle at a difficult time.

I still believe whilst personal choice is important, funerals are for loved ones left behind. We discussed our plans with our adult children. I wouldn’t want to impose something they were unhappy with

My lovely husband sadly died 2 months ago. He knew it was coming as he had terminal cancer and wanted a direct cremation with no-one attending. We had attended too many funerals for elderly relatives and neither of us wanted similar. We are not religious.
He arranged and paid for it all in good time and told all his close relatives so when the time came they knew his wishes.

The funeral directors were fantastic. Kept me fully informed about how the cremation would be held and when. It was very dignified and caring. I’ll do the same when my time comes.

He also bought a tree in our local memory gardens and his ashes will be interred there.

I realise this is not for everyone especially if you have faith but it was perfect for us.

Thinking of you MadameP at this sad time.
💐

I’d certainly like some singing of favourite old hymns at mine, but since I won’t be there to care, it’ll be up to dds, or dh if he’s still around.
I don’t want any money wasted on flowers! My father said he’d come back and haunt anyone who spent money on flowers for his funeral, so my mother put a small bunch on his coffin anyway - because she wanted him to.
And before anyone asks, no, he never did.

Paid for direct cremation. I have no interest in what they do when I’m gone
They are now free to….mourn..I hope. Or celebrate me as they will.
I’m not here

Jaxjacky

I don’t keep thinking about it, wrote it all down and filed about fifteen years ago, immediate family notified.

That is what I did.

Revisted it this year, and changed half of it!

Both my husband and I have organised Pure Cremation

My husband and I discussed what he wanted, during the last month of his life, so arranging his funeral was relatively easy.
After I had dealt with probate, I got back in touch with the undertaker and took out a pre-paid funeral package for myself, filled out the folder with my wishes, filed it with the firm online, paid money into the account and have told my son where to find the folder, and the clothes I wish to be buried in.

It wasn't a particularily pleasant task, but the peace of mind once it was attended to is worth the temporary discomfort of attending to it. A bit like going to the dentist.

We all should think about it and talk to our families.

I simply do not understand.. I will be dead! what does it matter? it is for those remaining to "celebrate" as gives them comfort... I simply do not understand.. I have prepaid for my cremation, those remaining can add to it if they wish or not.

I have been to a lot of funerals.
Seen and heard things I would not want at mine.
Wont list them here[though anyone can dm me] as everyones' taste is different.

You are not alone. I dread the thought of funerals. My DH won't book a holiday because of the cost of them. How depressing.

I decided many years ago that I don't want a funeral, a direct cremation with no attendees and then my ashes scattered somewhere with my late DH's. Family all know what I would like, no fuss whatsoever. I have always thought funerals are absolute torture for those closest to the deceased but understand not everyone feels the same way.

petra

Hopefully my body will still be acceptable to science.
I signed up for this many years ago.

Like you Petra I have donated my body to a local medical school for training. They offer to return or cremate the body after three years, and return ashes. They hold a service every year for families of those who have donated. I'm hoping I'll be accepted when the time comes

I stopped thinking about it when I wrote it all down so people know lol I don't want a furneral. Just cremate me (or bury me head 1st without a box) then that's that. If they want have a gathering or whatever then they can but I don't want all the stuff of funerals and costs.

I have already bought and paid for a direct cremation.

It’s simple and hopefully less stressful for my family when the time comes.

They can obviously have a wake after if they so wish.

Given that funeral expenses are taken out of the deceased estate prior to probate and are paid out after death directly from their account (unlike most bills), does anyone know if you can "tag on" a celebration or other "family wishes" to a funeral you have already bought?

So, for example, if someone's family does want a celebration or even a service but the deceased had paid for an unattended cremation can they take the cost out of the dead person's estate or do they have to fund it themselves (obviously after tax in this case)?

Just wondering as some people have booked things and then said family can do what they want as well.

Anybody know?

interesting question Not spag!

A much loved aunt died and as we were all preparing to travel for her funeral we were informed by her sons (our cousins) that they were awfully sorry but she had requested no funeral just a simple private cremation.
No goodbyes at all. We, her family all felt somewhat sidelined and rather hurt. I know it was her choice but our family is close and we felt as though we didn't matter. We're over it now but it was quite hurtful at the time.

My OH and I bought a funeral package for each of us 6 years ago only to find the company went into liquidation and lost over £7,000. Having been diagnosed with a terminal cancer just one year ago, I voiced decision that I should have a Direct Funeral, to save a traumatic experience for OH and both DD and DS & families, only to find they were horrified and insisted that a “proper “ funeral would be necessary! I gave up and have written all the relevant information for a non-religious service, music, readings, etc. attached to copy will. Just hope this will appease them, after all I won’t be there!!

Having had to organise my son's funeral, I realised that what matters is what those left behind want. He did not have money to pay for a funeral so we had to cut costs, but felt that having a service, with a small wake after, gave closure. If we had a direct cremation I would have felt in limbo.
Myself and his siblings made choices based on things (music, poetry etc.) we knew he liked. I wrote the eulogy. We wanted his extended family and friends to have the opportunity to get together and remember him.
He loved the sea so we will scatter his ashes at sea when the summer comes.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not sure what I'd like to do when I leave school! The next minute I'm cataloging old photos for when I'm gone.

Sorry for people struggling with loss.