Am I being stingy?

TBH if you never get a thank you I’d just stop. And if they wonder why, tell them!

Quit buying for them.

You did ask and that's my suggestion.

Just stop. It might be a bit late now but speak to your friend and suggest you stop exchanging presents. It’s very coming lots of people I know don’t give presents any more.

Common , predictive text thinking it knows best

Very common not to give presents to teenagers. They don't want 'stuff' anymore than we do.
I give a bag of chocolate coins to a good friend's son and have done for years - it's now a standing joke between us.

You're not being stingy at all Sarahleigh.
Say to your friend that you're cutting back now and won't be buying presents from now on.
If you feel you need to get them something this year then a box of nice biscuits to share would be ample.

I stopped sending cheques for two of our nephews years ago: they never thanked us and one year one of the cheques didn't even get cashed, so I decided they obviously didn't appreciate it!
Fast forward several years and I used to send their children a little something, again never a word back so they're off my list too.

Other nieces and nephews send thank you notes, or a picture of their children playing with the present, so they're still on my list!
Even so it's very much a token gift.

Just stop, Sarahleigh. I agree about explaining that you’re cutting back.

No thanks, no gift next time is my rule. I’m happy with a phone call, a text or a thank you when I see them, but gifts that go unacknowledged? How do I know if I’ve wasted my money or not.

I have a lovely Muslim family living next door who over the years have been very kind to me and DH. Their children go to a multi faith school and celebrate everything including Christmas nativity. To show my appreciation of their kindness I have always bought the children Christmas presents and one of their mums has come shopping with me to help me buy. However there are now 9 children age ranging from 14 to a new baby and I can no longer afford the couple of hundred pounds I would have to spend so I took a deep breath and spoke to the eldest boys mum and was honest with her about my finances. I was in tears when she told me how much the children loved their gifts from grandma Celie but it was time to stop as all they wanted now were new phones or things I have never heard of but if I bought a tin of chocolates to share they would love that. I’ve also stopped buying for my AG as I now have 2 great GC and I gave them money to open a savings account when they were born.

Not a lot of joy in simply giving around here it seems. In your case, Sarahleigh, I would simply give to my friend what I wanted to and nothing for her children without fear or explanation. After all, she is your friend and friends understand each other. Go for it girl.

Just don't buy anything, you don't have to explain and they are not going to get in touch to ask why you haven’t bought anything.

I stopped giving to my niece and nephews children years ago. I would send them money and the parents would text a thank you. I never see them and they wouldn’t know who I am so I decided there was little point.

Give them £10 each if you want to continue and just a small gift costing a fiver for your friend.
In my experience teenagers do appreciate the cash, not all families are rolling in money or stuff and come to that, not all adults are either.

You could just carry on giving £5 and a selection box - teenagers love chocolate and money is money...whatever the amount.

Difficult decision that. I've decided that this is the last time I send parcels abroad. It's ridiculously expensive now. And a huge amount of effort, buying, packing, standing in post office queue etc. They'll understand hopefully, now that I'm really old. 🤔

Every supermarket sells tubs of chocolates give a tub addressed to the family with a card and don’t feel guilty about it.

Not stingy at all, Sarahleigh, but sensible and the box of chocolates for children to share is a lovely idea.

In my apartment block lives a single Mum with two delightful daughters, aged six and eight, to whom I give small gifts. This year I shopped from BHF online and have already given them Christmas gonk pin badges with which they are delighted. I’ll supply the link but I see that many items have now sold out.

giftshop.bhf.org.uk/giftshop?p=2

Just tell them all that you are donating to charity instead from now on. They won't know if or how much you are giving.

Just stop, they don't even say thank you. Never have bought for friends children. I find it diffucult knowing what to buy my own family. I have friends I always bought for, now we don't, we get together for a meal instead, being with them is enough. . I know my teenage grandchildren had firm ideas of what they liked and I had to ask the parents what they were into. Now I buy a gift but give them a voucher or a cheque which they prefer.

Like Oreo. and Desdemona I think I’d carry on with a small gift, but drop into the conversation that gifts will stop when they leave school.
I have/had the same problem with DH’s nephews, so I now send cheques. It’s no skin off my nose if they can’t be bothered to bank them.

We used to buy birthday and Christmas presents for the girl nextdoor. We never got a thank you and we stopped when she reached 18.

When she had a baby we bought him a present and one for her and yet again never got a thank you.

I don't bother with cards or presents for them at all now. Oh and by the way I do not buy rubbish presents. They are the losers.

Think there comes a time when you can stop. You’ll know when that is.

I would buy a gift for the family to share. DH has a nephew with 5 children so separate presents are out of the question. We buy sweets or biscuits and maybe a card game for them to play.

I send a little message out to my friends this time of year to say - We did say no christmas presents didn't we? Or is it OK if we stop the xmas presents this year -if its the first time . Only we have a family secret santa so just one adult to buy for and then the DGC and the food so thats enough in the cost of living crisis !? Just to check? - I think they're all relieved . It just takes someone to ask the question.

I gave my 4 grandchildren a choice they could have money which i hate giving as i really love giving surprise gifts or a special activity day each with nan and grandad they all chose the activity so its win win for us as we have a special day out with them making memories and we have time to spread the cost a little and its also entertaining and enjoyable for us