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I’m at my wits end !

(128 Posts)
Beau1958 Tue 23-Jun-20 20:47:11

Now that the pubs are about to open I have had rows with my OH about him going there with his friends. We are both in our 60’s my OH is very overweight I have a lot of stomach problems and have lost a lot of weight I can’t afford to catch it. I really don’t want him mixing with lots of different people there will be no social distancing all his group of friends can’t wait again for the pubs to open. I’m helping my 40 yr old daughter with her two boys under age of two, if I get it she could too I couldn’t bear to think of the consequences. My OH says he doesn’t care about getting it. I’m just at my wits end with it all. What would you do ?

janeainsworth Tue 23-Jun-20 20:49:35

Remove myself to the spare bedroom and social distance myself from him in the house.
I’m serious.

Bathsheba Tue 23-Jun-20 20:57:13

Move in with your daughter. I'm also serious.

growstuff Tue 23-Jun-20 21:01:46

Another vote for moving in with your daughter.

Helennonotion Tue 23-Jun-20 21:06:17

Pubs can reopen, only if they follow strict rules to keep customers safe. Customers will be encouraged to sit at their tables and members of staff wearing masks will bring the drinks/food to the them. Queuing at the bar will be discouraged and if you have to, social distancing should be adhered to. Hand sanitisers will be available and there will be signs on the floor to direct people safely to the loo and to the exits, so people are only walking in one direction. Publicans have to follow the guidelines and they will be expected to gently remind people who may perhaps forget them! Having said all this it could be very hard to stick to guidelines after several pints! I wish I could offer advice Beau1958. I've spent all day listening to my husband rejoicing because his beloved pub is reopening! He did say he would only go perhaps at quieter times, a weekday afternoon, until things are safer. Is this something your husband could do? Friday nights and weekends will be much busier. Good luck.

Kate1949 Tue 23-Jun-20 21:07:20

Which pub will he go to that will have no social distancing? They are only being allowed to open if they stick to the rules.

Kate1949 Tue 23-Jun-20 21:08:04

Crossed posts Helen

sodapop Tue 23-Jun-20 21:09:58

I'm with Bathsheba and growstuff your husband is being very selfish. It's one thing putting himself at risk but not you or the grandchildren.

Beau1958 Tue 23-Jun-20 21:17:01

It’s a busy pub in town he always goes on a Friday night and Sunday afternoon it gets packed with people standing outside aswell after a few pints I know they will take no notice of social distancing. We have a local country pub nearby that is selling takeaway beer there has been absolutely no social distancing at all. They gather on the green opposite youngsters mainly. It’s awful !

Grannynannywanny Tue 23-Jun-20 21:21:24

The majority of customers I meet in supermarkets struggle/decide to ignore distancing guidelines, one way systems in aisles and wearing of masks. They are sober.

I hope I’m wrong but I don’t have much confidence that pub customers are going to remember or bother to observe guidelines after a few drinks.

Beau1958 Tue 23-Jun-20 21:22:41

Yes sodapop exactly I just don’t know what to do he keeps saying it’s so rare to catch it but I don’t agree. I will have to think seriously of what I’m going to do. I feel really sad we have been together 20 years.

TrendyNannie6 Tue 23-Jun-20 21:23:19

I’m so cross with your husband saying he doesn’t care if he gets it, that’s just ridiculous, people are dying from COVID and he doesn’t care, he will if he gets it!! What a stupid attitude, I really feel for you, I’d be in that spare room like a shot,

pinkquartz Tue 23-Jun-20 21:32:20

I am sorry for you OP.....your DH is very selfish I also think you should move in with your daughter.

DH might not die, he might just spend the rest of his life in a coma like Derek Draper or live but have damaged lungs and be disabled.
I hate it when people think it's no big deal to them.

This opening of pubs decision is hard to understand....drunk people and social distancing don't exactly go together and who exactly will be policing the pubs?

So everyone will be going out rejoicing and flying in and out of the UK and it will all end happily???

I have had it once and don't think I Can survive catching it again. I never go out ... I caught it from a carer

If you are vulnerable you are vulnerable.

NfkDumpling Tue 23-Jun-20 21:42:48

If he goes, don’t be there when he gets back. Stay with your DD until his quarantine is up. And make sure there’s hardly any food in the freezer.

There’s a good chance the pub will be quite strict as to social distancing as I understand it can be closed down again if they don’t toe the line.

maddyone Tue 23-Jun-20 21:42:56

Thank goodness my husband doesn’t go to the pub! Personally I don’t think pubs should be opening yet. What a terrible dilemma Beau, I feel sorry for you. I’d give him an ultimatum, me or the pub.

Hetty58 Tue 23-Jun-20 21:53:28

If he doesn't care about catching it - he doesn't care about infecting you.

I would stay with my daughter under those circumstances and refuse to be anywhere near him (should he change his mind) without him having a test first.

Casdon Tue 23-Jun-20 21:57:14

He’s putting himself at much more risk than he’s putting you and your daughter, as he’s in the high risk category due to being male, his age and his weight - does he realise that?

Beau1958 Tue 23-Jun-20 22:09:15

He’s kidding himself that he’ll never catch it I just don’t understand his reasoning I really don’t. Ive told him he’s high risk it annoys me as you all say that he could pass it on to me we’ve argued and argued he won’t back down things will come to a head I can see it coming I think I will have to move out but it’s easier said than done ?

Grannynannywanny Tue 23-Jun-20 22:18:55

Beau1958 is your daughter aware of the situation and what’s been said? Might she be able to talk some sense into the stubborn old goat?

Could you could present a united front and your daughter say to him that his reckless attitude makes it unsafe for his wife, daughter and little grandchildren to be around him?

It might just jolt some sense into him.

BlueBelle Tue 23-Jun-20 22:23:22

Definitely move to be with your daughter, that was my first thought, leave him on his own to sort himself out and do what he wants until you feel more confident to be out and about

Beau1958 Tue 23-Jun-20 22:27:45

Grannynannywanny He’s not my daughters father, they are not that close that she could say anything to him unfortunately.

Grannynannywanny Tue 23-Jun-20 22:34:53

Sorry Beau1958 . I do feel for you. It’s a rotten predicament.

I hope you can find a solution and that you have your daughter’s support in whatever you decide to do.

Beau1958 Wed 24-Jun-20 07:36:21

Thank you you’ve all been very supportive.

Nannan2 Wed 24-Jun-20 09:42:41

Yes move in with your daughter, youre allowed to stay so just be her support bubble& live there for awhile while she needs you.You never know he might get the message then..I would imagine also that they WILL be made to social distance at the pub its one of the stipulations isnt it of being allowed in?hmm i would imagine they'll be strict about it.

Supernan Wed 24-Jun-20 09:44:29

I would move in with your daughter. PERMANENTLY.